Stupidest Things DMs Have Done

Sneaking up on a house in the burbs I asked if there was anything outstanding going on.

GM- ".... you hear some bogs darking in the back of the house..."

We still laugh about that.

For the most part my general rule is- 90% of the population is smarter then I am, so I never play in a game GMed by the lower 10%, that reduces the problems.
 

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Ou first "real" try at a D&D campaign was with a DM that pretty much sucked. The campaign had us starting at level 6 (he thought low-level play was boring). And we were in our first session quested with rescuing a princess (yeah, really). It basically resulted in us having to find and overcome 4 dungeons thematically tied to the 4 elements (we later learned that this was called a RttToEE game). When we headed to the first temple, we understood we needed to find 3 artefacts in order to open it. A good artefact, an evil artefact and a neutral one.

So, we find the good artefact and are on our way to the evil artefact. So we enter this tower and are confronted by our mirror images. We need to get across the room, but we can't because of our mirror images. So everyone tries their best, but we can't get past them. The half-orc barbarian gets frustrated and leaves the tower, telling us he'll wait for us outside once we get to the artefact.

Finally, our sorcerer gets the brilliant idea to hug himself and turn himself around. He gets to the other side and gets teleported away. The rest followes his example and we end up in a chamber with an invisible floor and a radiating evil artefact in the middle. After a while we figure out we are able to cross the floor and head toward the artefact. So all is still ok right? We were still having fun and we were on the right track... Until the DM stops being flexible that was.

He says to us that we're starting to hear demonic voices inside our heads exept for the guy who was packing the good artefact. So we naturally group together with the dude with the artefact and continue toward the evil one. So the evil artefact supposedly grows more volatile and we decide to let the power of good nullify the whole experience and hold the two artefacts together. Doesn't sound so unreasonable right? SO the DM clutches his head and tells us the two artefacts explode and we are trapped and preserved for 50 years in that room (which seemed like mere moments to us). So we tell him: "But the half-orc was still outside...." Ok, he said to the half-orc player.. roll a new character.

.....

IMHO having the two artefacts explode was the stupidest thing he could do at that time. Mainly because he never gave us any indication that this sort of thing would happen if we put the artefacts together. We also didn't really understand how powerfull these artefacts were. We were all pretty much entire newbies and we didn't know any better. He should just have made something up to smooth out the process and fix the story or he should have dropped more clues along the way.

The campaign never recovered. He tried another session to patch it all up, but he was trying to freestyle his way through the story and never prepared anymore. Kept forgetting his own plotline and such. In the end I just decided to run my own campaign and do it right despite my inexperience with roleplaying. I still run a great campaign with little problems and my players grow more enthusiastic every session.

Cheers,
Illirion.
 
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Back in the days of 1E... a guy working at the local comic shop decided to start a game. I was a regular costumer (as were the other players) and he invited me to join. Even back in the days of 1E I was the Eternal GM so I jumped at the chance to *play*... I decide to play a Druid, I like nature-type characters... We come to a new region in the campaign and I ask where the local Druid's Circle is... he seemed surprised by this... but I didn't want my character to "step on any toes" being the new guy in the area... I find the Grove and intoduce myself to the High Druid... who promptly hits me up for a bribe in gold coins... I didn't return to that game...

"I am the High Druid, I have an offer for you that would be unwise to refuse..."

*No the NPC didn't say that but it was how it felt... the Grove Father...
 

JustKim said:
You are so right, my scrotum-possessing brother, women should not be allowed to play D&D. Now let us punch each other to affirm our manliness.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

That's the best comment that I've seen on EN World in at least the past month.

JustKim wins teh thread! :cool:

Olaf the Stout
 


Queen_of_Spades said:
mine did worse: got a non-gammer girlfriend. We have never played an entire session ever since...


Mine is pretty bad too, My wife made me let my daughter play (she is 7) because I told her no and she went upstairs crying to mommy. (its was that or sleep on the couch until further notice.....)
 

Let's see:

First, a couple of funny blunders from my all-time favourite DM (too bad he can't run any more games, and hardly ever play):

1. In this Campaign (our first 3e game, and I was the only guy who ever roleplayed before, though Baldur's Gate and the like was played before), we had a home base - a town with wizard college attached to it. We hear that it was about to be besieged by an army of undead, and headed there - we asked how long we would take to go back (no teleporting at that time). "2 and a half days if you hurry, otherwise 3 days." Thinking that it would be better to arrive well-rested, and not believing that they would get there that fast, we decide to take the 3 days.

We arrive with the city fully under siege - the DM expected us to hurry, so he had to adjust things. We fight a vampire (I think it was a cleric of velsharoon), got drained a bit and all that, and proceed to the war leaders. And during the travel, someone says: "He, isn't it noon?" "Yes" "And we just fought a vampire in broad daylight:" "Uh....."

See, we were supposed to arrive in the middle of the night. Noone, including the DM, noticed that because of our dawdling, we arrived 12 hours later, in the middle of the day, until 15 minutes real time after that fight.


2. Same campaign, much later. We were out partying in a tavern (well, gathering information and relaxing combined). The dire bear animal companion had to stay outside, and when the druid's player asked what the bear was up to, the DM replied: "Well, it will probably have eaten a couple of children that played on the streets." Which prompted our surprised answer: "Children play here at 2 o'clock in the night?"

This was probably to balance out the daywalker from before.

3. Same DM, D20 Modern Stargate Campaign. We were about to confront the BBEG in our last session, a former Guawossname who had enslaved one of those god slug thingies to harness its power. As we arrived at his base, he tells us that we can go again, he has no quarrel with us (usual BBEG banter). Well, we did - after we got his assurance that he won't bother earth in the next couple of centuries (which he agreed to, since he wanted to make war upon the System Lords, anyway).

Of course, the DM punished us for evading the final fight (which probably took hours or preparation) by saying that the guy failed enslaving the god-thing and later invaded earth, killing every one.

I guess he never figured that we would actually walk away from a big fight. And boy was he wrong. :lol:

4. Campaign after that. We're in the Zulkir of Evocation's very Citadel (or was it Conjuration? Well, one of those really powerful overlords of Thay, anyway). A trap was sprung upon us - the passage we snuck in by collapsed, teleportation was impossible in the whole structure, except in a couple of places - which were probably just past the Zulkir himself.

So I asked: "How much of that corridor was caved in?"
"At least 30 feet, no chance of digging through, it's a lot of stuff and you don't have the equipment."
"That's okay, I manifest disintegrate as often as it takes to clear the way."
"........ Damn! You did it again."

And so we did. Another final fight evaded. He tried to prevent it, but forgot about my psion and his power points enabling him to manifest powers dozens of times.


I have more, from other DMs, but they aren't nearly as funny (more the frustrating kind). If you want, I'll tell you about those another time.
 

The DM misread the map inwhich a staircase was forgotten that lead from an underwater passage to an area that was not submerged. the party only had one potion of underwater beathing and a single character had to quickly swim each through and revive them before they died. That group of players have never let me... ur... that DM ever forget that... One little mistake... :o :(
 

JustKim said:
You are so right, my scrotum-possessing brother, women should not be allowed to play D&D. Now let us punch each other to affirm our manliness.


ok ok, i guess i deserved that without explaining it. I find boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife combo's don't work. I make this statement based on three groups that i played with. Sometimes its the guy who is at fault and sometimes the woman but either way it seems to me that couples just CAN NOT leave the relationship out of the game. For example with our DM (ex-DM now)... Every time his wife felt something was unfair (which in fact was fair) she would start complaining and whining about it for the rest of the night and very emotional arguments erupted from this (while the rest of us was sitting around the coffee table). I blame it on two things. First: she was playing a Bard and did not understand that the Bard isn't an unstoppable, able to make everyone believe them, rule the universe kind of class ; Second: she expected that since she was sleeping with the DM that she was entitled to the most powerful/valuable items the party found.

The second reason is the main one with all three groups that i've played in. I'm sorry if this offends some men, women or couples in general but that is my opinion. I do admit that some couples can make it work but they are rare.

Anyway... thats my rant...


P.S. - my girlfriend is a very avid roleplayer, she's on enworld actually. So all that accuse'd crap of 'women not allowed to play', i'll tell you where you can stick that if you push it any further.
 
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YAY! For us ...

So, this wasn't "stupid DM" this was just ... "whew" moment for us as players.

Our DM puts us up against HUGE baddies. I mean, demons and dragons and evil-ubre-spirits of the Demolish Lord Keey-Org.

We had been teleported to this island in an alternate time/space. We had to fight three HUGE baddies to save reality ... as we know it. And we were already a little low on resources when we had to slay a titan. (Titan? Ok!)

We thought things looked bad already, until his militia of 8 flying gargoyles walked us to his fortress. (FRIG! A titan? 8 gargoyles? On his hometurf?) So, I was tense ... since I was playing the fighter. And I could tell the DM didn't like how I was being apprehensive about entering the Titan's Fortress. Battle begins ...

We all thought we were screwed.
The druid casts his first spell ...
DOWNFALL.
(which is now one of my favorite spells.)

The DM rolls a natural 1 on the Massive Damage chart.
INSTANT DEATH for the Titan.
... actually we all laughed, DM included.

The rest of us, unclenched our rear located sphinxter rings.

It was funny.
 
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