Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

well i think iv got a few new things to add so i will on my very first game i decided to drink o fountain of bile need less to say i was very sick for the rest of the adventure wich lasted all of two minuets for my very nearly dead character.

this one not strictly D&D nut i think i may have the shortest living character in the history of rpg games in judge dread my character was nominated party leader and we were to go to this tower block were perps had taken over well to set a good impression for the rest of the party i left the police depot at very high speed well went out the door across the road and of to fall about 299 feet to a very big splat
 

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sharkey said:
this one not strictly D&D nut i think i may have the shortest living character in the history of rpg games in judge dread my character was nominated party leader and we were to go to this tower block were perps had taken over well to set a good impression for the rest of the party i left the police depot at very high speed well went out the door across the road and of to fall about 299 feet to a very big splat

Lose more Judges that way.
 


In this installment of WHAT THE CRAP THEATER, we leave the lava hallway and continue on, finding a door covered with, for some strange reason, honey. Naturally, some of the party have a lick.

Next, we find a room filled with skeletons and a strange artifact. Touch artifact = get skeleton. Which falls to the ground, useless. After we amuse ourselves, we continue on, and fight a zombie bugbear.

Onwards, and we find a sleeping white dragon! Most of us try to sneak away silently, but not Anasazi. No, she excitedly yells "DRAGON! DRAGON! DRAGON!" and runs up to hug it. Even though I managed to hold her back, the dragon wakes. And bites me.

Then The DM reminds us that the dragon is the size of a cat. We attempt, at her pleading, to tame the baby dragon, but it would rather gnaw on a tableleg. So, we leave.

Then, we get to a room with mirrors on the walls. The DM hints that something's strange with the mirrors, and someone decides to hit one.

Then the reflections laugh at us. Until their sides split. Literally.

Then the janitor cleans up the place, and the room starts to fill with blood.

Before we could get out, the walls shatter, fall away, and we are staring at the universe in all its vast glory.

We make the requesite 2001 jokes.

Then apparently the Great Gazzoo made everything semi-normal again.
 
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Lalalei2001 said:
In this installment of WHAT THE CRAP THEATER, we leave the lava hallway and continue on, finding a door covered with, for some strange reason, honey. Naturally, some of the party have a lick...

I've got the perfect quote for this.

"A gygaxian dungeon is like the world's most :):):):)ed up game show. Behind door number one: INSTANT DEATH! Behind door number 2: A magic crown! Behind door number 3: ten pounds of sugar being guarded by six giant KILLER BEES!" - SteveD on, well, Gygaxian dungeon design.
 


I think you might have already posted that on page three... let's see...

Lalalei2001 said:
Ooh! One person said "Oh, there must be a rule that says a disintigration spell doesn't affect the caster. Here, I'll show you!"

There wasn't. RIP, Melf the Male Elf.
 

Although this might not qualify as the stupidest character deaths it involved a stupid decision caused by desperation (along with some really bad dice rolling).

This past gaming session the group saw a lone orc leaning out of a dungeon door, then upon seeing us PC's ducks back into the room. The fighter runs in at full speed. His movement ends in the center of the room. He finds himself surrounded by 8 orcs.

The group is 4th level, but a bit underpowered 4th level. 8 orcs with a large and mean looking orc coming from another room is going to be a bit of a challenge for us.

The paladin realizes that the fighter may have just gotten over his head and rushes forward.

Orcs turn. All 8 charge. They get charge and flanking bonuses and get some hits on the meatshields. Each one takes at least one normal hit and a critical hit. Criticals with battleaxes and strength bonuses hurt as the DM continues to roll amazingly well. The paladin drops to -9 hps. and the fighter is still standing with only one hit point.

The other players see this situation and start to panic. They rush forward to try to help the meatshields. At the end of everyones movement there is a cluster of PC's trying to get through the door. All squeezing rules apply.

The cleric goes last in initiative and starts to feel a little desperation. He is squeezing with the sorc and cannot get to either of the hurt party members. He owns the only really useful magic item in the party, (necklace of fireballs). In a move of desperation he throws one of the beads into the center of the room. The DM reminds us that he will have to make an attack roll for it since the clutter of bodies between him and the center of the room. (everyone see where I am going with this?)

He looks around and we all think that it is worth a try. It is certainly a dumb thing to do, but we are in a desperate situation here. We vote yes. This is the one thing that if done right could save the lives of two PC's.

He throws a 3 HD fireball and botches the roll. It hits someone before the center of the room catching most of the orcs and 4 of the 6 PCs in the blast. Most PCs make the save but the cleric does not. The necklace of fireballs itself was then forced to make a save which it in turn failed balsting the 40' radius with 88 points of damage. 44 if you made your save. No one in that blast radius had 44 hit points. Most of the orcs and 4 of the PC's had been obliterated.

My rogue survived and the missle-weapon ranger survived. We were outside of the blast radius.

It was not the stupidest character death...but it sure was unlucky.....and SPECTACULAR!
 
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Running a Colombia d20 Modern campaign. The PCs are supposed to knock off the local crime lord/politically-motivated warlord. They have to do this carefully, since the last team that tried it got blown to hell. Something about a nearly inpenetrable base. They had to win the trust of the crime lord and then snatch him. Needless to say, the fewer people who knew their plans, the better.

Finally, they got their foot in the door, making contact with the warlord's chief of security (a madman who had high Sense Motive and a lie detector routine which included a Magnum .44). The warlord wanted them to eliminate a drug smuggler who paid off the wrong armed group for protection. It would have been easy if the smuggler didn't visit an area where the locals are so tough they operate their own road blocks and keep the warlords' troops out. (If they attacked him anywhere else, they would attacked by his bodyguards and the FARC. Who are the FARC?)

The PCs were hated by the FARC, a terrorist group that had an intense political rivalry with the warlord they were trying to befriend. To that end, they'd done everything to tick the FARC off, like foil many of their attacks, "sell" one of their towns to a rival terrorist group, and found their secret base and refused to die with that information safely within their skulls. The FARC likes to kidnap foreigners to Colombia, like the PCs.

When they first got to that area of Colombia, they witnessed the FARC kidnapping a drunken foreigner. (They tracked him to the FARC's secret base and rescued him.) They should have known that then what to avoid doing (being drunk).

During this session, the PCs got near the road block and decided to scout. One of the PCs, a gunslinger-type, pretended to be drunk and didn't hang around near the other PCs. So now the FARC, which knows their descriptions, hates them, and loves kidnapping drunk foreigners, sneaked up on him and jabbed him with knockout poison. Gunslingers don't have great Fort saves. Flop. They attempted to kidnap him.

There were only three FARC terrorists, and they weren't that bright either. The four conscious PCs quickly forced the FARC to surrender and rescued their friend in front of a crowd of Colombians. Then they lost their minds.

They decided a great way to sell one of the terrorists to the warlord (he would be delighted, and would torture the poor fellow, which was against the code of their employer), send one back (to deliver a message, eg "stop trying to kill us") and send one to the cops. But how to decide? They thought about Russian roulette (with kneecaps), but instead decided to stage an arena fight in a back alley. The three would fight each other; the winner got to go home, the loser would get sold to the warlord, and the in-betweener would go to jail. Naturally the prisoners were unarmed. And no, they weren't martial artists.

They did, however, attempt to escape instead of fighting each other. The PCs were weak on the melee side and no one had decent Strength. One of the prisoners nearly got away, but got shot down. That one, who did the best, ended up getting sent to the cops because one of the terrorists "had received a critical hit while standing above a PC he had just knocked over" and therefore required intensive masculinity-retention therapy (he was sent to the FARC base). The prisoner who didn't get anywhere was then sold to the warlord. This last act advanced their plan, but...

Was it really a good idea to deliver the terrorist to the cops? Or, for that matter, tick off their employers by setting up the arena (a form of torture, albeit mild) and then sell that guy to a madman who used a Magnum .44 to help detect lies?

The two terrorists who didn't get sold to the warlord complained. The PCs were arrested. Evidence was plentiful (eg witnesses). They had to spill to the chief of police*, had to reveal why they were in Colombia, which wasn't a great idea because of the influence the warlord wielded, and oh yeah, came this close to being fired. If they survive the next session, that's going to come back to haunt them.

* The PCs had two pieces of info to sell to the cops, but gave away the worse piece of info. If they'd told the cops about the secret prison operated by the foreign oil company, they'd have gotten off as well, but would have to free those prisoners. Instead, they panicked and spilled the big secret. The panic might have something to do with the thought of being sent to the capital via a big visible paddy wagon while unarmed and shackled down the only main road, a great signal for terrorists to blow them to smithereens with rocket launchers.
 

I almost met Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs when our party got attacked by a swarm and our only option was fireballing the whole room.

I went a little overboard though when I empowered it with a rod of metamagic, combined with warmage edge and extra edge, sent most of the party into single digit hp, and they MADE their saves. I however positioned the blast badly and placed myself in the area when I didn't have to, so I went down to like -8 and almost kicked the bucket.
 

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