Lalalei2001
Explorer
Any more dumb PC/DM moments? 
-
NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done
- Thread starter Lalalei2001
- Start date
When I finally gave up on this player.
Her: Okay, we sneak up on the giants. (We being a Ranger and a Sprite).
Me: How do you sneak?
Her: We hide.
Me: With both of them?
Her: Mmm-hm.
Me: Okay roll. (It came out roughly low 20s total for the ranger and low teens with modifier for the Sprite.) Alright, now is there anything else?
Her: No. We hide and sneak up on them.
Me: Okay, the Ranger notices that the Sprite isn't hiding very well.
Her: Okay, so I tell him to try again.
Me: Okay, but you only get one more try at hiding. Do you want to try anything else?
Her: No, we'll just try the hide again.
Me: Okay. (Again low teens after adjustments).
...Reasonably hostile encounter with Giants who see the Sprite follows.
Later, I reminded the player that the Sprite could go invisible at will, as indicated on the page from the Monster Manual that I had copied so she could put it in the back of her character sheet.
"I know, but I didn't know how to use it."
(Me quietly surpressing the urge to pull my own hair out.)
Her: Okay, we sneak up on the giants. (We being a Ranger and a Sprite).
Me: How do you sneak?
Her: We hide.
Me: With both of them?
Her: Mmm-hm.
Me: Okay roll. (It came out roughly low 20s total for the ranger and low teens with modifier for the Sprite.) Alright, now is there anything else?
Her: No. We hide and sneak up on them.
Me: Okay, the Ranger notices that the Sprite isn't hiding very well.
Her: Okay, so I tell him to try again.
Me: Okay, but you only get one more try at hiding. Do you want to try anything else?
Her: No, we'll just try the hide again.
Me: Okay. (Again low teens after adjustments).
...Reasonably hostile encounter with Giants who see the Sprite follows.
Later, I reminded the player that the Sprite could go invisible at will, as indicated on the page from the Monster Manual that I had copied so she could put it in the back of her character sheet.
"I know, but I didn't know how to use it."
(Me quietly surpressing the urge to pull my own hair out.)
WalkingEntropy
First Post
DM Derails His Own Game
Here's a silly way to derail a game from about a year and a half ago. It begins in Sharn in the Eberron Campaign Setting and the party had a Dwarven Defender, Frenzied Bezerker, an Artificer and me, a Sorcerer.
The mission at the time involved hunting down what appeared to be a rakshasa with the help of an NPC Master Inquisitive who takes us to an abandoned warehouse. The warehouse, according to the NPC, is the hideout of the rakshasa and our job is to search it room by room.
I personally thought that was retarded (I hate dungeon crawls) so I asked the DM what the building was made out of. He told us that it was wood. So I said to him, "Great, I light the building with burning hands." The general idea was that we could get straight to the boss if I could torch the dungeon.
That caught DM completely off guard and, after he tossed away the majority of his campaign notes, he scrambled to save the adventure by saying that in the bottom floor of the torched building was an adamantine door that the target must have escaped through. Our party response was to dig around the door find somewhere to break into the underground passage.
The DM in turn, upped the ante and said that our way was barred by an adamantine plate that was 1000 feet to a side and six feet thick.
This immediately set off a wave off cussing around the table from everyone as a thought struck me. It occurred to me that the group was standing on what was the equivalent of 6 million cubic feet of adamantine. An evil glint came to the eye of our artificer and he announced his plans to immediately begin mining the adamantine for profit.
The DM pointed out that we had no resources available to do that, which was the truth. But our artificer had taken the feat Favored in House and his house was House Cannith. He leveraged this feat to get a entire Cannith mining expedition out to extract our new cash cow.
We were a little sketchy about the total value of the adamantine as we knew the amount only as a volume, not a weight, but we estimated that we had about 15 billion gp beneath our feet.
Long story short, I used my cut of the treasure to bankroll a fleet of 125 mithral plated airships and used them to support the personal armies raised by my party members as we declared war on the rest the campaign setting.
Here's a silly way to derail a game from about a year and a half ago. It begins in Sharn in the Eberron Campaign Setting and the party had a Dwarven Defender, Frenzied Bezerker, an Artificer and me, a Sorcerer.
The mission at the time involved hunting down what appeared to be a rakshasa with the help of an NPC Master Inquisitive who takes us to an abandoned warehouse. The warehouse, according to the NPC, is the hideout of the rakshasa and our job is to search it room by room.
I personally thought that was retarded (I hate dungeon crawls) so I asked the DM what the building was made out of. He told us that it was wood. So I said to him, "Great, I light the building with burning hands." The general idea was that we could get straight to the boss if I could torch the dungeon.
That caught DM completely off guard and, after he tossed away the majority of his campaign notes, he scrambled to save the adventure by saying that in the bottom floor of the torched building was an adamantine door that the target must have escaped through. Our party response was to dig around the door find somewhere to break into the underground passage.
The DM in turn, upped the ante and said that our way was barred by an adamantine plate that was 1000 feet to a side and six feet thick.
This immediately set off a wave off cussing around the table from everyone as a thought struck me. It occurred to me that the group was standing on what was the equivalent of 6 million cubic feet of adamantine. An evil glint came to the eye of our artificer and he announced his plans to immediately begin mining the adamantine for profit.
The DM pointed out that we had no resources available to do that, which was the truth. But our artificer had taken the feat Favored in House and his house was House Cannith. He leveraged this feat to get a entire Cannith mining expedition out to extract our new cash cow.
We were a little sketchy about the total value of the adamantine as we knew the amount only as a volume, not a weight, but we estimated that we had about 15 billion gp beneath our feet.
Long story short, I used my cut of the treasure to bankroll a fleet of 125 mithral plated airships and used them to support the personal armies raised by my party members as we declared war on the rest the campaign setting.
shilsen
Adventurer
Brimshack said:
You could probably have saved some hair and not had to give up on the player by not doing it later. Why not just say when they're discussing sneaking up, "You know, your character can go invisible, which means the giants won't see you?" It would make more sense to remind the player when something's relevant rather than later, wouldn't it? After all, the character knows how to use all her abilities, even if the player doesn't.
On the bright side, you managed to get a foolish player move and a foolish DM move in the same story
awayfarer
First Post
WalkingEntropy said:
Oy. I would never create sudden and elaborate to block my PC's from doing something. They're too clever for it anyway. As a DM in this situation it might have been better to...
1: Suck it up. The players found a way to deal with something in an unexpected way. It happens.
My players recently skipped right to the end of a dungeon, a giant's tomb. They had two options...
1: Explore the entire tomb. Find the various stuff they needed to open the last door. Perhaps figure out a couple of puzzles. Possibly upset a lot of angry, undead tomb-dwellers. Maybe encounter some traps.
2: Use their Chime of Opening on the last door. D'oh!
A casting of hide from undead also allowed them to avoida lot of trouble. Basically 95% of the dungeon went unexplored. But hey, they had the tools to finish their job with a minimum of fuss and I wasn't going to screw them for being prepared.
2: If for some reason the DM absolutely had to "salvage" that scenario, I'm sure there are dozens of ways to do that without throwing up a wall of adamantine. How about this.
Players: We set fire to the building
DM: Okay. The guy you're after decides not to hang around a burning building. He runs out of the perfectly ordinary wooden door at the back.
Admittedly this scenario is still part of the problem: denying PC's options for the sake of running things a certain way.
Evilhalfling
Adventurer
awayfarer said:
Nah, thats the DM reasoning out the consequences of the players actions. There might have also been arson charges/investigation for setting a fire in a crowded city.
Following a shapechanger on a chase through city? = good adaption. Being chased by gaurds the same time = better.
shilsen said:You could probably have saved some hair and not had to give up on the player by not doing it later. Why not just say when they're discussing sneaking up, "You know, your character can go invisible, which means the giants won't see you?" It would make more sense to remind the player when something's relevant rather than later, wouldn't it? After all, the character knows how to use all her abilities, even if the player doesn't.
On the bright side, you managed to get a foolish player move and a foolish DM move in the same story
Actually, I had reasons for not explaining it to her in that instance. But if you are looking to get in a dig, then I suppose this will do. Telling a player about a useful ability before hand is a legitimate move to be sure. It is by no means the obvious choice, especially if one is trying to get a player to take responsibility for running her own characters, which this player had yet to do.
Last edited:
Lalalei2001
Explorer
Any more tales of DM or PC stupidity?
Had two noob's and they decided to split from the group inside the Whispering Cairn (Age of worms campaign). They chose the green lantern passage way and were soon devoured by that oh so nasty acid beetle swarm with the Madslasher in tow. In the same campaign another player became addicted to Luhix when the party reached Greyhawk and had a night on the town. A few days later the group was taken captive by the dopplegangers in the hall of harsh reflections. The player had so many minuses and managed to survive till the fight with Zyrxog but then he caused a tpk.
Lalalei2001
Explorer
Ah, I remembered a good one.
This one guy, we felt so bad for him. To this day we're not sure if he really was stupid, or just not getting it. Scenario: He's a halfling thief, and the party has just come into possession of a Deck of Many Things. He drew lucky and got Keep, which means he unexpectedly inherits land holdings from some unknown relative that has just died.
He also has a second level thief henchman, from another lucky draw, which is VERY lucky. He inherited some halfling uncle's brewery and lands. His mother tells him he got the brewery by stealing the funds for it, and he was a very successful thief in his day. Thus begins the Trial of the Incompetent Halfling. *sigh*
He goes to the bedroom. Of course, all the other players, who know me well, are thinking "Ooooh, halfling thief keep, lots of good junk squirrelled away!!!" What does this guy do? Drinks a bunch of the beer and goes to bed.
I graciously allow one of the other players to give him a nudge in the right direction, although all of the other characters are at other places. He finally decides to start searching, and lo and behold, finds a secret door in the bedroom. He goes down the short flight of stairs and finds a small stone room, ten by ten, with no apparent doors. He leaves, goes and drinks more beer, and goes back to bed, thinking that the room had been cleared out prior to his uncle's death.
The other amused players, once again, gently steer him in the right direction. So the next day he toddles down the stairs, and lo and behold again, finds another secret door. I, thinking he's going to check for traps, don't bother placing any. He doesn't. He just opens the door and steps in.
I begin to realize that this guy needs to figure out what being a thief is all about...much less a halfling thief. Inside the room (another square stone room, 10x10) there is a single shelf jutting from the wall, with a small ivory box, and two urns on the floor beneath it.
He cavalierly walks across the room and checks out the urns. One is sealed with wax, the other is simply stoppered. He unstoppers it. Inside he finds dust.
Him: Dust? That's dumb. I dump it out.
Me: You--what?
Him: I dump it out.
The other players are horrified.
Sure enough, he dumps it out and he and his henchman promptly fail their saving throws as it is Dust of Choking and Sneezing. His henchman recovers first and drags him from the room. He recovers, chuckles at himself, and proceeds to stride right back into the room.
His henchmen ends up covering his nose and mouth with a kerchief and rescues him again, as his footfalls stir up the dust once more. FINALLY getting this particular hint, he and his henchman very carefully reenter the room. I ask him what he's going to do.
Me: You have one more urn that is sealed with wax, and the box on the shelf. The shelf seems to be sticking out of the wall itself, not affixed there or attached to it in some way (hint, hint).
Him: I pick up the box.
The other players groan in unison.
*Kathunk!* A spear shoots out of the wall on what is belly height for a halfling and skewers him. He passes out, but does not die. When he comes round, he sees his predicament. The spear is in fact, affixed firmly in the wall, holding him up quite nicely. Me: What do you do?
Him: I slide off backwards.
Me: You take an additional 1d4 points of damage as the barbed head penetrates your back, and you pass out again.
He comes around again.
Me: What do you do?
Him: I draw my short sword and begin whacking at the pole of the spear in front of me. I exchange glances with everyone else at the table, but must do the proper thing, as it is not a magical sword...
Me: You take additional 1d4 blunt damage from the violent movement of the spearshaft. You pass out.
The other players, by this time, are gnawing on furniture. Comes around again. I finally let the other players help out. "HAVE YOUR HENCHMAN REMOVE THE BARB AND HELP YOU OFF!!!" He does so, makes it back upstairs, and gets patched up. There is no local cleric (in most of my games, clerics are very rare), but he is in no danger of dying as they have a very good hedge doctor at the keep. He wakes up the next day, half stats, etc. I describe the extent of his disability, his agony, and so on.
Me: What are you going to do. (thinking he'll send a messenger for another PC to help him out, as they do actually have a cleric in the party, but he's currently at his temple in the city some distance away)
Him: I order a big steak and beer breakfast.
Me: *gape* You just sustained a massive abdominal injury. You were on the verge of death, and you're weak and ill. You what?
Him: I order a big steak and beer breakfast.
Me: You sustain 1d4 damage from convulsive vomiting.
FINALLY he heals up and heads back down into the vault. The box is on the floor. He CHECKS FOR TRAPS! YAY! and disarms the ones that are there, and opens it. Inside are four vials of clear liquid in velvet (turns out to be holy water, but that's a different tangent to the story). Then he checks out the remaining urn. No runes in the wax, just plain red wax on an ivory bottle. He simply breaks the seal and looks inside. He sees liquid of some sort.
He carefully pours some into his hand. At this point, I didn't have the heart to make it the incredibly nasty poison (which was supposed to be a boon to his party later on) it was supposed to be, and instead made it a Potion of Stench. He figured it out when his henchman started puking.
I thought my other players were going to pop, they wanted to jump in so badly.
This one guy, we felt so bad for him. To this day we're not sure if he really was stupid, or just not getting it. Scenario: He's a halfling thief, and the party has just come into possession of a Deck of Many Things. He drew lucky and got Keep, which means he unexpectedly inherits land holdings from some unknown relative that has just died.
He also has a second level thief henchman, from another lucky draw, which is VERY lucky. He inherited some halfling uncle's brewery and lands. His mother tells him he got the brewery by stealing the funds for it, and he was a very successful thief in his day. Thus begins the Trial of the Incompetent Halfling. *sigh*
He goes to the bedroom. Of course, all the other players, who know me well, are thinking "Ooooh, halfling thief keep, lots of good junk squirrelled away!!!" What does this guy do? Drinks a bunch of the beer and goes to bed.
I graciously allow one of the other players to give him a nudge in the right direction, although all of the other characters are at other places. He finally decides to start searching, and lo and behold, finds a secret door in the bedroom. He goes down the short flight of stairs and finds a small stone room, ten by ten, with no apparent doors. He leaves, goes and drinks more beer, and goes back to bed, thinking that the room had been cleared out prior to his uncle's death.
The other amused players, once again, gently steer him in the right direction. So the next day he toddles down the stairs, and lo and behold again, finds another secret door. I, thinking he's going to check for traps, don't bother placing any. He doesn't. He just opens the door and steps in.
I begin to realize that this guy needs to figure out what being a thief is all about...much less a halfling thief. Inside the room (another square stone room, 10x10) there is a single shelf jutting from the wall, with a small ivory box, and two urns on the floor beneath it.
He cavalierly walks across the room and checks out the urns. One is sealed with wax, the other is simply stoppered. He unstoppers it. Inside he finds dust.
Him: Dust? That's dumb. I dump it out.
Me: You--what?
Him: I dump it out.
The other players are horrified.
Sure enough, he dumps it out and he and his henchman promptly fail their saving throws as it is Dust of Choking and Sneezing. His henchman recovers first and drags him from the room. He recovers, chuckles at himself, and proceeds to stride right back into the room.
His henchmen ends up covering his nose and mouth with a kerchief and rescues him again, as his footfalls stir up the dust once more. FINALLY getting this particular hint, he and his henchman very carefully reenter the room. I ask him what he's going to do.
Me: You have one more urn that is sealed with wax, and the box on the shelf. The shelf seems to be sticking out of the wall itself, not affixed there or attached to it in some way (hint, hint).
Him: I pick up the box.
The other players groan in unison.
*Kathunk!* A spear shoots out of the wall on what is belly height for a halfling and skewers him. He passes out, but does not die. When he comes round, he sees his predicament. The spear is in fact, affixed firmly in the wall, holding him up quite nicely. Me: What do you do?
Him: I slide off backwards.
Me: You take an additional 1d4 points of damage as the barbed head penetrates your back, and you pass out again.
He comes around again.
Me: What do you do?
Him: I draw my short sword and begin whacking at the pole of the spear in front of me. I exchange glances with everyone else at the table, but must do the proper thing, as it is not a magical sword...
Me: You take additional 1d4 blunt damage from the violent movement of the spearshaft. You pass out.
The other players, by this time, are gnawing on furniture. Comes around again. I finally let the other players help out. "HAVE YOUR HENCHMAN REMOVE THE BARB AND HELP YOU OFF!!!" He does so, makes it back upstairs, and gets patched up. There is no local cleric (in most of my games, clerics are very rare), but he is in no danger of dying as they have a very good hedge doctor at the keep. He wakes up the next day, half stats, etc. I describe the extent of his disability, his agony, and so on.
Me: What are you going to do. (thinking he'll send a messenger for another PC to help him out, as they do actually have a cleric in the party, but he's currently at his temple in the city some distance away)
Him: I order a big steak and beer breakfast.
Me: *gape* You just sustained a massive abdominal injury. You were on the verge of death, and you're weak and ill. You what?
Him: I order a big steak and beer breakfast.
Me: You sustain 1d4 damage from convulsive vomiting.
FINALLY he heals up and heads back down into the vault. The box is on the floor. He CHECKS FOR TRAPS! YAY! and disarms the ones that are there, and opens it. Inside are four vials of clear liquid in velvet (turns out to be holy water, but that's a different tangent to the story). Then he checks out the remaining urn. No runes in the wax, just plain red wax on an ivory bottle. He simply breaks the seal and looks inside. He sees liquid of some sort.
He carefully pours some into his hand. At this point, I didn't have the heart to make it the incredibly nasty poison (which was supposed to be a boon to his party later on) it was supposed to be, and instead made it a Potion of Stench. He figured it out when his henchman started puking.
I thought my other players were going to pop, they wanted to jump in so badly.
Similar Threads
