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D&D General Suggested executions for when your dice commit capital offenses


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So, I went through a phase where I always played with a carefully curated set of high-precision metal dice.

The problem is that it is too expensive to punish said dice for bad behavior, especially when only capital punishment fits the crime.

So, I'm thinking of going back to cheap dice from the bulk game-store dice bins so I an affordably indulge my sadistic, DM power trips, and my random-number-generating minions who disappoint me.

What are the best capital punishments for dice. I don't mean temporary punishments like freezing them in ice, putting them in a time-out box, or other soft treatments unworthy of an evil egomaniacal tyrant.

Some come easily to mind:

  • smashing with a hammer is an oldie but goodie, nothing creative about this, but it is satisfying
  • slowly tightening in a vice until crushed--now that's getting into the spirt
  • projecting it with a wrist-rocket-style slingshot at a hard surface or into a lake...hard to ensure destruction, though, and there is a risk of ricochet injuries (best delegate this to a player).
  • use a Dremel to sand off all the numbers, drill holes into it, and circular saw it in half
  • drill a hole through it and string onto a necklace to be worn when running games as a continued warning to your other dice
  • throw into a rock-polisher until it is a marble
  • melt it down with an acetylene torch, something about a welding mask shouts modern-day executioner

Please help me increase this list. I have so many dice to execute.

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Cut off/blemish/destroy the number that failed you and they will be almost complete but with one scar making them useless for the rest of eternity. Next spray them with catnip and throw them to the Main-coon kitten den. Lastly melt down and flatten into a horrific dice tray so other dice just roll all over them. Yeah.


In high school I actually had a player who said, "Stupid dice! Never roll right!" threw them, and then proceeded to take his bic lighter to his d20 and started burning it until it was too hot in his fingers, at which point he threw it as well. Completely true story...

For most players IME, it is exiling the dice to non-use forever as new dice are bought. 🤷‍♂️

I just use the bad dice for when you're DMing.

There's four grades of dice:

1. As DM for fodder
2. As DM for boss fight
3. As player for normal use
4. As player for boss fight

2 and 3 are basically the same, but you've got to keep them separate so as not to confuse things.


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Death by firing squad

"Okay players, time for lunch break. But instead of going to Chipotle, we are gong to the gun range."

The gun range I go to wouldn't allow a firing squad though. I guess I'll just have to live with the knowledge that I fired the bullet.

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