D&D General Suggested executions for when your dice commit capital offenses

[MNblockhead]

So, I went through a phase where I always played with a carefully curated set of high-precision metal dice.

The problem is that it is too expensive to punish said dice for bad behavior, especially when only capital punishment fits the crime.

So, I'm thinking of going back to cheap dice from the bulk game-store dice bins so I an affordably indulge my sadistic, DM power trips, and my random-number-generating minions who disappoint me.

What are the best capital punishments for dice. I don't mean temporary punishments like freezing them in ice, putting them in a time-out box, or other soft treatments unworthy of an evil egomaniacal tyrant.

Some come easily to mind:

• smashing with a hammer is an oldie but goodie, nothing creative about this, but it is satisfying
• slowly tightening in a vice until crushed--now that's getting into the spirt
• projecting it with a wrist-rocket-style slingshot at a hard surface or into a lake...hard to ensure destruction, though, and there is a risk of ricochet injuries (best delegate this to a player).
• use a Dremel to sand off all the numbers, drill holes into it, and circular saw it in half
• drill a hole through it and string onto a necklace to be worn when running games as a continued warning to your other dice
• throw into a rock-polisher until it is a marble
• melt it down with an acetylene torch, something about a welding mask shouts modern-day executioner

Please help me increase this list. I have so many dice to execute.

 

[BookTenTiger]

I prefer an exchange program, where my poor rollers get adopted by the DM (if I'm a player) or a player (if I'm a DM). Then the low rolls become much more enjoyable!

 

[CleverNickName]

I've never done it, but I've heard of folks slowly dissolving their dice in solvent. And there is at least one d20 at the bottom of the Willamette River because it killed a beloved character of mine.

I always liked the idea of giving cursed dice away as gifts to people I don't like.

 

[Slit518]

Get a meat grinder and just grind it down into powder or chunks or whatever the grinder will do to it.

 

[MNblockhead]

I prefer an exchange program, where my poor rollers get adopted by the DM (if I'm a player) or a player (if I'm a DM). Then the low rolls become much more enjoyable!

Ah, the old Goblin Boss approach.

 

[dumdragon]

Death by firing squad

 

[Bedrockgames]

Buried alive

 

[not-so-newguy]

Bury them in teeny-tiny caskets in the backyard with teeny-tiny headstones.

 

[DemoMonkey]

The first dice? It just gets retired.

The second, third, forth, et al?

They get super-glued to the first one, into a terrifying Katamari Dice-macy ball to be rolled for damage by mind-bending Far Realm Abominations.

 

[rgoodbb]

Cut off/blemish/destroy the number that failed you and they will be almost complete but with one scar making them useless for the rest of eternity. Next spray them with catnip and throw them to the Main-coon kitten den. Lastly melt down and flatten into a horrific dice tray so other dice just roll all over them. Yeah.