I can see the others except "videogame-y," as I've seen NEW players say 4e "feels like a video game." I agree that it should be explained, but saying 4e feels like a video game isn't some horrifyingly insulting low blow that some people make it out to be.
I will agree if that is rephrased as "saying 4e feels like a video game isn't INHERITLY the horrifyingly insulting low blow that some people make it out to be".
The problem is two-fold:
1) Many posters here remember the "3e is anime!" cries from a few years back and (myself included here) feel that this is just the next step. So anyone that was tired of the (justified or not) "Anime!" cries tend to have a knee-jerk reaction to "video-gamey!". I have no doubt I am guilt of this reaction myself.
2) Most OPs that I have seen (I honestly think all of the ones I have seen - though I could easily be misrembering or missed some along the way) don't explain why they say it feels like video game or why they feel this is a bad thing. And yes, I have seen 4e advocates that are just as bad in this regard.
It is very difficult (if not impossable) to have a deep discussion back and forth if both sides don't agree on what they are discussing. If niether side specifies what they feel is "video gamey" one side could be talking about the new spell casting system while the other is talking about fighters and 'agro'. How can we even discuss if something is good or bad for a system if we're not talking about the same thing?
I know you said you agree with this next section Cirno, but I'm going to go on because I think it needs to stated and an example given.
I'm hoping to finally play 4e this weekend (or at least mess around with it with another player from my 3e game). Many of the things about 4e I think I'm going to like but the new Saving Throw system I'm worried has been overly simplifed. It doesn't matter the caster level, spell level or level of the target - 10+ wins the day. A first level caster vs a level 30 character or a level 30 caster versus a level 1 target - doesn't matter, it's the same target number.
I can see advantages (doesn't matter the caster level of guy who built the trap in the 3000 year old ruin) but I can't help but think something could have been done to bring more of "the characters" into it. Say, the saving throw would be "X + 1/2 caster level" or something and then have feats/exploits that give bonuses to the save.
That is an honest worry I have about 4e. Maybe it'll play fine or maybe I'll be saying "it's worse than I thought" in a week or so. I have no doubt the above example will go over much better with many posters here than "4e has been dumbed down and therefore sucks" which is how many undetailed critizisms come across to me.
From my standpoint saying someone has problems with 4e is fine (heck, I just did that a couple paragraphs earlier). Saying they don't like 4e is fine. Even saying "X, Y and Z of 4e feels like a video game and I don't like it because of reasons 1, 2 and 3" is fine with me. But if someone actually wants to have a conversation about what is bad or what is good about 4e they need to be a little more detailed about why the game is the worst thing to happen to the industry or why it is a blessing from above.