Teflon Billy's post-ENnie Haiku Contest. WIN TONS OF D20 STUFF

[Teflon Billy]

Hey all

I'm not sure if you recall back when the ENnies were in full swing, but I said at the time that I would be having a Haiku contest in which the good folks at EN World could win all of the adventure modules that I had recieved for review in both 2001 and 2002.

Well my friends that time has arrived, and I have a lot of modules to give away. Over 40 actually.

So if you are interested, read on.

From Dictionary.com (more or less)

Haiku: A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables.

If you are interested in getting a bunch of current (and not-so-current) D20 modules, then all you need to do is write up a Haiku on one of the following subjects...

• Half-Orc Bard
• Lightning Bolt vs. Fireball
• Chaotic Neutral
• Fiendish, Dire (some animal from the monster manual)
• Dice Etiquette
• Hell, any D&D-related crap you can think of. I ain't picky

Just make sure it has something vaguley to do with D&D, EN World or Wahtever your little heart desires.

So everyone just enter (post) once (do so by posting to this thread).

I will be accepting entries until Nov. 2, 2002. Judging will take place the week following that.

The judging will be done by Myself and my friends Mike (you don't know him), Theo (Theovis from the rules forum) and Stuart (New addition to EN World's ranks: Fusangite).

None of us are exactly poetry afficianado's, but we can count to 17 (the required number of syllables) and do appreciate comedy, with and cleverness

There are no hard and fast judging criteria, so you'll just have to go with the opinions of my friends and I about whether you've won or not.

The winners pay their own postage to have the prizes sent to them.

The prizes are as follows...

First place gets...

• Rappan Athuk: Upper levels-Necromancer Games
• Rappan Athuk: Middle levels-Necromancer Games
• Rappan Athuk: Lower levels-Necromancer Games
• A Lion in the Ropes-Troll Lord Games
• The Silver Summoning-Fiery Dragon Games
• The Last Dance-Atlas Games
• To Stand on Hollowed Ground-Fiery Dragon Enterprises
• Maiden Voyage-Atlas Games
• What Evil Lurks-Necromancer Games
• The Ruins of Rackfall-Monkeygod Enterprises
• Of Sound Mind-Fiery Dragon Games
• Brotherhood of Prophecy-Scarab Games
• The Pit of Locj-Durnan-Mystic Eye Games
• The Bloody Sands of Sicaris-Paradigm Concepts
• The Sword of Justice-Monkeygod Enterprises
• Queen of Lies-Fiery Dragon Games
• Crucible of Freya-Necromancer Games
• Maze of Zayene-Necromancer Games
• Demons and Devils-[/i]Necromancer Games[/i]

Second Place gets...

• Tomb of Abysthor-Necromancer Games
• Hall of the Rainbow Mage-Necromancer Games
• The Witchfire Trilogy 3: Legion of lost Souls-Privateer Press
• Nemoren's Vault-Fiery Dragon Games
• If Thoughts Could Kill-Malhavoc Press
• Into the Darkness-Otherworld Creations
• The Ascension of Magdalene-Atlas Games
• All The Kings Men-Monkeygod Enterprises
• Tsar Rising-Monkeygod Enterprises
• Song of Storms-Monkeygod Enterprises
• The Scourge of Raftport-Monkeygod Enterprises

And Third Place gets...

• Death in Freeport-Green Ronin Publishing
• Madness in Freeport-Green Ronin Publishing
• Burning Shaolin-Atlas Games
• Beyond the Veil-Atlas Games
• Dzeebagd-Troll Lord Games
• Interludes: Brief Expeditions to Bluffside-Thunderhead Games
• Galal's Grave-Fiend Games
• Siren's PrizeKenzer & Company
• Deathright-Kenzer and Company
• The Last Initiate-Monkeygod Enterprises
• Race to the Yellow Lotus-Monkeygod Enterprises
• The Malady of Kings-Troll Lord Games

EDIT: Fourth Place gets...

A brand-spanking new copy of D20 Rokugan

Keep in mind that I made these "Prize Packages" by grabbing my pile of modules, and dividing them (near randomly) into "Big", "Medium" and "Small" piles...their placement in the various categories should not be read as a comment on their respective quality.

So that's basically it. I think Morrus is making this thread sticky, so feel free to peruse the competition, fiddle with your entry (up until the deadline anyway) and just generally have fun.

Get this stuff out of my house

 

[Mouseferatu]

Billy, I couldn't tell by your wording if we were limited to one Haiku per person or not. If so, please just count the first one below and ignore the others. If not, here's one of each.

------------------------------

Half-orcs are singing.
Dear gods, why did you get rid
Of class restrictions?

Roaring flame drowns out
My friend's screams. I really should
Have cast lightning bolt.

It's hard to take a
Dire weasel seriously
'til it bites your butt.

Touch my dice again
And I'll break both your arms, you
Feces-breathed lemur!

Chaos for its own
Sake is the mark of a poor
Gamer. Please stop that.

Oh good gods help us,
It's a great wyrm red dragon!
Run, run, run, run, run!!

 

[Teflon Billy]

Yeah, I should've been clearer. I meant just one Haiku. You want the bard one to be your entry?

 

[Mouseferatu]

I don't guess I could just say "Pick the one you like best to be my entry?"

Yeah, go with the bard one.

 

[Dr Midnight]

I will submit this one:

Twenty sided die
I have shined you and loved you
Be good to me now.

I wrote it a few years back, along with these others (posted just for yer amoosment):

Mountain Dew midnight
Grab my d20 and roll
I'll be up all night.

Doritos, my friend,
You have sustained me for hours
Spicy barbecue.

Roll to hit that troll!
I hit! Roll damage! Okay...
Eight! YOU KILL IT! DUDE!

Grab your PHB
It will be a rough night, but
Together we win.

 

[Teflon Billy]

I wrote it a few years back, along with these others (posted just for yer amoosment):

I'm amoosed

 

[tsadkiel]

Fiendish Dire Badger?
No, your gnome can not have one
as his familiar!

 

[Maerdwyn]

Entry: Fireball vs. Lightning Bolt

Three orcs' ashes lie
In a line beside my own.
Our mage chose poorly.




These are all extras:

RttToEE:
Cut down by a frog,
They mock me until - "Dragon!"
Ah, schadenfreude!

Alignment:
You charge the demon?
Damnit! "Lawful Good" doesn't
mean "Lawful Stupid"!

1/2 Orc Bard:
All my gold to he
Who smashes Kraag's lute and leads
Him down a new path.

General:
We want to go North
But the railroad takes us East -
His campaign, I guess .

ENWorld:
Tired of whining
About Dragon's vile content?
Let's start a beer thread!

 

[Capellan]

Dice Etiquette

Friends should always share?
A sentiment most noble.
Polyhedrons? MINE.

 

[jgbrowning]

poem

There is but one thing
we should try to remember
Hastur, Hastur, Has.....


I'm not sure if this qualifies anymore, since the old 1st Ed. Dieties and Demigods is a bit old now, but its my entry and im sticken to it!

luck all!

joe b.