The Continuing Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern!

[DrZombie]

"Right-O. A dungeon. That's what it boils down to. Good. Our reverend Leader will, as allways, take point, nodoubt."

The half-orc points BB in the right direction, and prods him along to test the corridor for traps.

 

[Wystan]

Ranti moves behind Bill and uses him as a human shield whilst pointing him in the correct direction.
"Come mates...and monkey...we have a before us an adventure of epic proportions. We need to...we have to...umm, what are we supposed to do in there?"
Ranti turns to Grummsh and...
"My good sir, does the map give any hint as to what we are actually supposed to be looking for in yon cave? I mean, even GrackleSmackel, the blind god of architecture, would have given his builders more information than we have to go on. We know that we and out semi-animate leader...along with a lower order primate...must perforce adventure into said gaping maw of mining before us, but we know not what we seek ...other than riches, fame, and glory."

 

[Lord_Raven88]

Cackling in obvious delight over the rough treatment of Berserker Bill, the capuchin who is currently resting on the half orcs shoulder peeks around from behind the safety (and cover)of the fearsome demon mask.

Concentrating for a split second a glowing shaft of angry red energy appears in his right hand and seems to grow from it's initial small size until it is equal in length to the monkey all the while it emits a low pitched humming noise . Moving it experimentally to and fro the sound from the glowing blade changes from a gentle hum to more sinister sound at it slices thru the air.

Apparently satisfied with the result, the blade suddenly contracts from the tip and disappears into the monkey's tiny hand. Conjuring his most innocent smile possible the capuchin shrugs his shoulders slightly and stares boldly into the eyes of his surprised companions and spits out a smug sounding "eek" in way of explanation.

OOC: For thematic purposes Infernus' mind blade makes the same noises as a light saber. Also Infernus changed his MB from the size of a Short Sword to a Bastard Sword and charged it with psionic energy.

 

[DrZombie]

"My good sir, does the map give any hint as to what we are actually supposed to be looking for in yon cave? I mean, even GrackleSmackel, the blind god of architecture, would have given his builders more information than we have to go on. We know that we and out semi-animate leader...along with a lower order primate...must perforce adventure into said gaping maw of mining before us, but we know not what we seek ...other than riches, fame, and glory."[/color]

"How do you mean, other than riches, fame and glory? We'll smite the ungodly, rid the world of evil, and have a good chance to kick some arse. Do we need another reason?" The half-orc says. He sticks another cigar in his mouth takes the monkey by the arm and lights up using the glowing mind-blade.

 

[Lord_Raven88]

Ranti moves behind Bill and uses him as a human shield whilst pointing him in the correct direction.
"Come mates...and monkey...we have a before us an adventure of epic proportions. We need to...we have to...umm, what are we supposed to do in there?"
Ranti turns to Grummsh and...
"My good sir, does the map give any hint as to what we are actually supposed to be looking for in yon cave? I mean, even GrackleSmackel, the blind god of architecture, would have given his builders more information than we have to go on. We know that we and out semi-animate leader...along with a lower order primate...must perforce adventure into said gaping maw of mining before us, but we know not what we seek ...other than riches, fame, and glory."

Seeming to take great offense at being called a 'lower order primate' the capuchin chatters angrily at Ranti while performing a multitude of obscene gestures with his hand and body.

Finishing with a flourish the angry looking monkey opens up the Half Orcs backpack, and after helping himself to some beef jerky he pulls out the map and unrolls it. Glaring at the elf the capuchin reaches out at touches the symbol that causes the map to zoom in on their position.

 

[Lazlow]

"My good sir, does the map give any hint as to what we are actually supposed to be looking for in yon cave? I mean, even GrackleSmackel, the blind god of architecture, would have given his builders more information than we have to go on. We know that we and out semi-animate leader...along with a lower order primate...must perforce adventure into said gaping maw of mining before us, but we know not what we seek ...other than riches, fame, and glory."

Suddenly, as if handed down by an omnipresent, omniscient entity controlling the world as he knew it, the elven warrior remembers that they were hired to find the Chromium Orb of Frobozz, an artifact of legendary power, and further remembers that Berserker Bill had mentioned that he thought it was somewhere near the vicinity of Lizard Spit.

The map zooms in at the monkey's touch, showing a zoomed in view of the mine and the entrance outside of which they now stand. Nothing much else of interest appears, but as the trio peer inside, pushing the barely responsive husk of Berserker Bill along in front of them, they see words on the wall, inscribed in the very rock of the mine shaft that read:

ABANDON SOAP
ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE

[sblock=OOC for all] My apologies for the glacial pace of this game, but RL things are increasingly devouring my time: An upcoming move to another state is in the works, which is being prompted by an upheaval of sorts at work. But, as long as you guys don't mind this very slow pace, I don't. I'm still really enjoying it, even if this font of comedic adventure comes in just a bare trickle. So, again, my apologies, but also my deepest, heartfelt thanks for your nigh-infinite patience![/sblock]

 

[Gray Shade]

Berserker Bill suddenly stiffens and without moving his gaze from straight ahead, shouts, “You’re each a deputy: don’t be a dope, watch out for the soap!” *droooooool*

He then relaxes and resumes "finding traps".

 

[Lord_Raven88]

With a concerned look on his cute monkey face the capuchin returns to his home away from (The Half Orc's backpack) and begin searching for any sign of this devilish soap.

 

[DrZombie]

The half-Orc glares menicingly at his compagnions as if daring anyone to show even a hint of a smile as the capucin removes, in random order, from the backpack of the mighty warrior, a purple, flowery smelling shampoo, a conditioner, an afterconditioner, two kinds of facial soap, a bottle of soap for the sensetive bits, a bottle of aftershave, an aftershave cream, a nightmask and something which you hope is brilliantine but you fear is vaseline.

"Put that back. Eeeuhrm. I brought that 'cause i suspected they might be up to the old 'abandon soap' trick. I saw that once before. Dirty buisiness that was, I can tell ya. All manner of filthy beast lived yonder. But we cleaned the place out, we did."

 

[Lord_Raven88]

The half-Orc glares menicingly at his compagnions as if daring anyone to show even a hint of a smile as the capucin removes, in random order, from the backpack of the mighty warrior, a purple, flowery smelling shampoo, a conditioner, an afterconditioner, two kinds of facial soap, a bottle of soap for the sensetive bits, a bottle of aftershave, an aftershave cream, a nightmask and something which you hope is brilliantine but you fear is vaseline.

"Put that back. Eeeuhrm. I brought that 'cause i suspected they might be up to the old 'abandon soap' trick. I saw that once before. Dirty buisiness that was, I can tell ya. All manner of filthy beast lived yonder. But we cleaned the place out, we did."

Shrugging slightly at the strange ways of his companions the capuchin puts away the offending products and then returns to his home away from home wearing the Half Orcs night mask for a well deserved kip.

This adventuring lifestyle was proving to be harder than Infernus has first imagined.