The "Favorite Simpsons Quotes" thread.

[AFGNCAAP]

A few favorites that I can recall at the moment:

Groundskeeper Willie: Grease me up, woman!

Groundskeeper Willie: Ah, don't feel bad, wolfie--I've been wrestling wolves since yiu were a pup at yiur mother's teat.

Bart: Why are my bones brittle? I've been drinking plenty of... malk?

Grandpa: (pointing to a birdbath) Death!

Grandpa: Hello? Hello? I need my pills! It's cold and there's wolves after me... (wolf howl)

Homer: Shup up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

Apu: (gunshot) Thank you for coming! I'll see you in Hell! (gunshot)

One-Eyed, Many-Tentacled Alien: Aaah! A board with a nail!

Lisa: Mr. Hutz, why are you burning all of those papers?
Lionel Hutz: As of this moment, Lionel Hutz no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!

Homer: "...press any key." Where's the Any key?

Hans Mulman: Wait a minute--this isn't my army reunion!
Gay man in campy "military" outfit: You're coming home with me!
Hans Mulman: (saluting) Yes, colonel!

Robert Goulett (sp?): You from the casino?
Bart: I'm from a casino...
Robert Goulett (sp?): Good enough for me.

Ned Flanders: I'm a murderer! A mur-diddlely-erderer!

Lisa: Xena, I didn't know you could fly...
Lucy Lawless: I'm not Xena--I'm Lucy Lawless.

Comic Book Guy: (walking out with a wheelbarrow of 100 burritos for $100) This should be sufficient sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon...

Homer: Aaah! A hungry hungry hippo!

 

[der_kluge]

From the episode that was on last night (At least in my area)

Homer: So, I couldn't help but notice that your house smells like feces.

 

[Lazybones]

German plant manager: "Homer, you have been Safety Inspector for three years. What initiatives have you spearheaded in that time?"
Homer: "Umm... all of them?"
GPM: "I... see. So do you have any ideas for the future?"
Homer: "I sure do!"
*pause*
GPM: "Such as?"
Homer: "Well, I wish the candy machine wasn't so picky about taking beat up dollar bills. Because... a lot of workers, really like candy."
GPM: "We understand, Homer. After all, we are from the Land of Chocolate."
Homer: "The land of chocolate..." *cue music, hilarious fantasy scene*

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Homer: Now, kids...we play, the waiting game!
*long pause*
*...pausing...*
*more long pausing*
Homer:...ehh, the waiting game sucks! Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!

 

[BrooklynKnight]

Man I wish they'd hurry up with the movie.

 

[Particle_Man]

So...who can reproduce the "That's Good -- That's Bad -- Frogurt" speech from one of the "Treehouses of horror" episodes?

 

[johnsemlak]

One of my favorite Kent Brockman quotes...

after speaking about a new toy doll for the entire news program

It's really interesting stuff, folks... Oh, and the president was arrested for murder, more on that at 11:00, or, you can turn to another channel. someone in the backround mutters something to Kent. Ok, do NOT switch to another channel.

 

[Caliber]

Homer: I'll take that doll.
Creepy Shopowner: This doll is cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Creepy Shopowner: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Creepy Shopowner: The frogurt is ALSO cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Creepy Shopowner: The frogurt comes with free toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Creepy Shopowner: The toppings contain polysacchirides.
Homer: *looks confused*
Creepy Shopowner: That's bad.
Homer: Oh, just give me the stupid doll!

 

[Dagger75]

Some of my favorites---

Homer comes to the door wearing a Grocery bag

Homer- I have misplaced my pants.
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Something in Santa's Little Helper's dog house. Homer goes to investigate

Homer-- Its either a badger or a griffon.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Homer- I know!! I can just make up news.

Lisa- Could you please take off the Pulitzer when you say that.
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Bart- The dead have risen!! And there voting republican!!

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Nelson-- Ha ha.. Stamp Collection.

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My favorite

Kent Brockmen- Some would say your neighborhood watch is causing more crme then they are preventing.

Homer- Kent I would be lying if I said my posse wasn't commiting any crime.

Kent Brockman- Touche.
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Kodus- Your superior intelligence is now match for our puny weapons!!!
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Homer-- Mmmmmm... soul doughnut.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Homer: In America, first you get the sugar... then you get the power... then you get the women.

Bart: Go orange!
Nelson: Go grapefruit!
Ralph: Go banana!