trappedslider
Legend
Things Mr. Welch Can't do in Pathfinder
1641. No matter what it says, my intelligent vorpal sword is not getting rewarded with a candy bar.
1658. The words "Rock Opera" will not appear in any of my wishes.
1772. No using EHarmony to find a cleric for the party.
1773. Can't use a wish spell to make the last Star Wars trilogy not suck.
1777. No using goldfish as improvised weapons just to get the dual weapon bonus.
1784. Some grizzfarb says I have to stop making up gnomish profanities.
1825. No taking Peace Activists as favored enemies just because they are easy targets.
1855. Using a barber's razor as a weapon does not make me a barbarian.
1861. Can't take a favored enemy I can't kill for another ten levels.
1882. The monk counts as adamantine when attacking, not when being used as a battering ram.
1915. The following are not acceptable specialties for a weapon master: Mustard Gas, Cheese Grater, Sardonicism.
1997. Better believe if I berserk for two straight hours I'm going to feel it in the morning.
2001. A Saber tooth tiger is not an acceptable second in a duel.
2040. Characters with the curious disadvantage are not acceptable substitutions for the Identify spell.
2052. The following are not acceptable favored enemies: Torries, Cartoon Characters, Wichita Falls.
2061. Note to self: Pinata golems are a bad idea.
2083. 'Fifty Shades of Grey Dwarves' is not the new Duergar sourcebook.2
088. If I have to buy a second warehouse to store all my spare magic weapons, time to retire the character.
2093. Can't trick the dragon into swallowing a shrunken dire porcupine and then ending the spell while he swallows.
2102. I will not make any plan that hinges on the medicinal value of dire wombats.
2123. No regifting cursed items on Christmas.
