log in or register to remove this ad


4E The Orc and the Pie - 4E


David Jose
The World's First, Shortest, Yet Technically Complete 4E Adventure
"The Orc and the Pie - 4E: A Parody of a Parody"

Adventure Background: An orc has a pie.

Adventure Synopsis: The PCs kill the orc and take his pie.

Adventure Hook: The PCs are hungry for pie.

Room 1: The Orc's Pie Room

You see an orc with a pie.
The room is 2 squares by 2 squares.

Creature: An orc.

Orcish Pie Keeper, Level 2 Soldier
Medium Natural Humanoid - XP 200

Init +1; Senses low-light vision; Perception +2
HP 34; Bloodied 17
AC 17; Fortitude 17 Reflex 14 Will 8
Speed 5

M Pie Server (Standard; at will) * Weapon
+10 vs. AC; 1d4+4
M Pie Zealot (Immediate, when any adjacent opponent tries to pick up a pie; at will) * Weapon
The Orc Raider can make a basic melee attack against that target with a +4 attack bonus

Skills: Endurance +8
Str +5 Dex +2 Wis +2
Con +3 Int +0 Cha +0​

Treasure: A pie.

Concluding the Adventure: Pie tastes good.

Further Adventures: Somewhere, there is a bakery making these good pies. Perhaps it's guarded by more orcs.


log in or register to remove this ad


First Post
Excellent! This is the simplest 4e adventure I've seen, staying true to 4e's theme. :D

Well, except that a lv 2 monster should be worth around 125 XP.


First Post
The Pie
Level 2 (Fast) Food Trap
XP 125
A tasty pie, lying on the floor.
No check is necessary to notice the pie
Trigger Initiative +5
The pie rolls initiative when the encounter begins. It has a speed 0.
Standard Action • Ranged 5
Target: All creatures in the same space as the pie.
Attack +7 vs. Will
Hit: target drools, drops anything that holds and tries to reach the pie and eat it.
• A character who makes a successful Cooking check DC 20, knows just how the orc bake thir pies and is unaffected.

I'm A Banana

I see a few problems here where the converter kept a few sacred cows.

#1: The orc does not have breasts.
#2: The pie should be a Warpie. Pies are a sacred cow we sacrificed with 4e, since no one wants to be a baker. Now, the pie has relevance for adventurers because it is useful in combat. Warpies are forged, not baked. But not forged by PC's, because craft skills are boring. They are forged, probably, by dwarves, if your group cares about that kind of simulationist crap.
#3: There is no special effect that moves anyone anyplace. This makes for a static and boring combat. Fix pls.
#4: A 10 x 10 room isn't cool. Make it a 50 x 50 temple with rubble on the floor


Hehehe, that was cathartic. :)

Kamikaze Midget said:
I see a few problems here where the converter kept a few sacred cows.

#3: There is no special effect that moves anyone anyplace. This makes for a static and boring combat. Fix pls.

did you notice there is no door? you need teleport to get the pie, problem solved. ;)


Sorry, but you fail to capture the spirit of 4e.

The rooms needs to be enlarged to 200x200 squares and they have to be made of at least 15 different challenging terrains (to get the most out of the new tactical combat powers).

Also the lone orc needs to be assigned at lest 24 orc pie guardian minions.

Sorry, but 4e is finally getting rid of the terrible game that D&D has been for the last 30 years and which no one ever played. You direct translation is a prime example of all the terrible scrap that the previous rules are and the reason why D&D always was the least popular P&P on the market.



Apparently Nytmare is the first 3rd party publisher to see the GSL! I hope Orc & Pie garners enough profit for you to offset your $5000 fee.



David Jose
Xath said:
Apparently Nytmare is the first 3rd party publisher to see the GSL! I hope Orc & Pie garners enough profit for you to offset your $5000 fee.



That was the most expensive thievery I've ever been a part of.


For those that want to run this adventure using 3E rules:
GROK: Orc, 1st-Level Warrior
Size/Type: Medium Humanoid (Orc)
Hit Dice: 1d8+1 (5 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (+3 studded leather armor), touch 10, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+4
Attack: Falchion +4 melee (2d4+4/18-20) or javelin +1 ranged (1d6+3)
Full Attack: Falchion +4 melee (2d4+4/18-20) or javelin +1 ranged (1d6+3)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., light sensitivity
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +0, Will -2
Abilities: Str 17, Dex 11, Con 12, Int 8, Wis 7, Cha 6
Skills: Appraise -1, Balancce 0, Bluff -2, Climb +3, Concentration +1, Decipher Script -2, Diplomacy -2, Disguise -2, Escape Artist 0, Forgery -2, Gather Information -2, Handle Animal -2, Heal -1, Hide 0, Intimidate -2 (+3 when using STR based demonstraion of toughness and scaryness), Knowledge (Arcana) 0, Knowledge (Local) 0, Knowledge (History) 0, Knowledge (Religion) 0, Knowledge (The Planes) 0,Listen -2, Move Silently -1, Open Lock 0, Perform -2, Ride 0, Search -2, Sense Motive -2, Sleight of Hand 0, Spellcaraft -2, Spot -2, Survival -1, Swim +3, Tumble 0, Use Rope 0
Feats: Extra Skills I mean: Open-Minded
Environment: Temperate hills
Organization: Gang (2-4), squad (11-20 plus 2 3rd-level sergeants and 1 leader
of 3rd-6th level), or band (30-100 plus 150% noncombatants plus
1 3rd-level sergeant per 10 adults, 5 5th-level lieutenants, and
3 7th-level captains)
Challenge Rating: ½
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Often chaotic evil
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: +0

GROK the Orc: This shorter than normal (5' 6&45/46" tall) and slight (123 6/7lbs) orc is ugly, squinty and (lucky bugger) never puts on any weight when he eats pies, drinks beer or after pub curries. He has blue eyes and lives in a quaint little 2 bedroom semi-detached dwelling in Waterdeep (23a Rotgut Lane, The Northern Docks, The Docks, Waterdeep, Faerun). His favourite passtimes are arm wrestling, pig wrangling, reading bad orcish poetry and watching reality TV shows. His favourite colour is red, his favourite song is the annoying one that was the theme tune for titanic and his favourite movie is the Austen Powers series (he especially likes the line 'no one thinks of the henchmen's family'). His best friend, Grog, thinks that reality TV shows are really lame and so he often doesn't watch them and goes to the pub instead. Grok and Grog are often seen together, hand in hand, among the most slovenly inns in Waterdeep's notorious Dock district.
Grok often (i.e. all the time, they are his only clothes) dresses in green moleskin trousers (made from fluffy sewer rats) and a brown homespun tunic. In his trousers left pocket is a small stone with a little bit of grey marbling effect on it and in his right pocket there are........I could go on but no one really reads this 3E non combat rubbish anyway, do they? What for, it is irrelevant to Grok's 1 round life span FFS, why do I bother? I don't know, WotC pays a pittance, my wife is having an affair........I am just going to end it all
Last edited:

Halloween Horror For 5E