The "Torment a Historian" movie playlist thread

[SKyOdin]

King Arthur was a terrible movie from the standpoint of historical accuracy, regardless of whether you think Arthur was an actual historical figure or not. Whoever wrote that movie clearly knew nothing about the actual period he was writing about. One of the most egregious examples is that the writer for some reason thought that the Pope and Bishops controlled the Roman Empire, when it wasn't until centuries later that the Papacy established significant political authority in Europe.

Gladiator was particularly egregious as well. Just about all of the politics and characters in that movie are completely made up. On top of that, the movie has scenes of characters reading printed, color leaflets.

In college, I had a History professor who decided to turn her Early Middle Ages history class into a movie class. So we ended up spending the entire quarter watching movies like Ben Hur, The 300 Spartans (1962 movie), Gladiator, King Arthur, Braveheart, Sparticus, the 13th Warrior and more and then writing essays on their historical accuracy. It was both fun and very painful. Hollywood is very, very bad at historical accuracy. Too bad we didn't have time to fit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail like the professor originally intended. She claimed it was the most historically accurate of the bunch (seeing as how the Monty Python guys are actually historians). I still need to watch that movie.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I still need to watch that movie.

This is one of the scariest sentences in this entire thread.

 

[Relique du Madde]

Why didn't they take it from his buddy, too? Peter, the boyhood friend... Or were they all full up on their foreign accent collection?

They never got the chance to since the magic component to the "Accent Stripping Ritual" is a hand that sins.

 

[MarkB]

What, a person who has his "British Accent" removed then sounds like an American?

No, that was part of the torture too.

"Now, renounce your heresy, or we'll make you sound like Woody Allen!"

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I just got points for some of the posts in this thread, so,,.

I have to say that there are some directors who could definitely screw up a “historically based” film up at least as well as Uwe Boll, like:

M. Night Shaymalan. I’m sure his take on something like, ohhhhhh, the Titanic disaster would involve a plot twist of having the iceberg being repositioned by Atlanteans.

Maybe Anthony Ferrante could place it in a version of his “Sharknadoverse”, but with telekinetic sharks.

1776? Give it to J.J. Abrams and watch the lens flares off of the Liberty Bell, bayonets, Ben Franklin’s glasses, tricorner hats and quill pens. Perhaps Old Ironsides gets created at the end of the film as a Transformer, setting up a sequel.

 

[Ryujin]

I just got points for some of the posts in this thread, so,,.

I have to say that there are some directors who could definitely screw up a “historically based” film up at least as well as Uwe Boll, like:

M. Night Shaymalan. I’m sure his take on something like, ohhhhhh, the Titanic disaster would involve a plot twist of having the iceberg being repositioned by Atlanteans.

Maybe Anthony Ferrante could place it in a version of his “Sharknadoverse”, but with telekinetic sharks.

1776? Give it to J.J. Abrams and watch the lens flares off of the Liberty Bell, bayonets, Ben Franklin’s glasses, tricorner hats and quill pens. Perhaps Old Ironsides gets created at the end of the film as a Transformer, setting up a sequel.

I feel like all of these movies may already have been made by the production company The Asylum.

 

[delericho]

Lots of good suggestions in this thread, but surely the worst offender must be "2001: A Space Odyssey"? Honestly, I don't even know where to start with that one...

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I feel like all of these movies may already have been made by the production company The Asylum.

Enlightenment, please!

 

[Zardnaar]

I was thinking the TV show Vikings but compared to some movies it's not that bad.

Doesn't break immersion at least for the casual viewer.

Season 2 they knew the UK was there and they transposed a viking funeral from a different time and place to Scandinavia (via Russia and an Arabic account).

 

[Undrave]

Any Asterix Movie?