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The "Torment a Historian" movie playlist thread


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billd91

Hobbit on Quest
1776? Give it to J.J. Abrams and watch the lens flares off of the Liberty Bell, bayonets, Ben Franklin’s glasses, tricorner hats and quill pens. Perhaps Old Ironsides gets created at the end of the film as a Transformer, setting up a sequel.
And you can bet that with JJ Abrams's tendency to play loose with space and time issues, you can bet that King George III would have been watching events unfold via a telescope in England.
nomorekings.jpg
 




Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies"
I was thinking about those, and trying to see if there is a line between them and how the others mentioned would handle things. I’m not sure I can. I mean, none of them approaches the genius of Ed Wood.

But then I remembered Tommy Wiseau,
 

Ryujin

Hero
I was thinking about those, and trying to see if there is a line between them and how the others mentioned would handle things. I’m not sure I can. I mean, none of them approaches the genius of Ed Wood.

But then I remembered Tommy Wiseau,
Further comment re: The Asylum. When "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" was slated for release, they rushed out "Abraham Lincoln vs The Zombies."

 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
Further comment re: The Asylum. When "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" was slated for release, they rushed out "Abraham Lincoln vs The Zombies."

I’m sensing the potential for this to become its own subgenre.
“Abraham Lincoln: Werewolf Slayer”
“Abraham Lincoln: Exorcist”
“Abraham Lincoln Vs Kaiju”
“Abraham Lincoln: Liberator of Mars”
“Abraham Lincoln: Robot Hunter”
“Abraham Lincoln Vs Alien Vs Predator”

Clearly, he’s a manifestation of The Eternal Champion, a cloned heroic archetype, or a hero across parallel dimensions.* Or some such.






* not mutually exclusive.
 

Orius

Adventurer
I was looking of some of my old threads last night and dropped some likes here since this thread predates that system. I was wondering who rezzed this thread and why just a few hours later. It felt a little weird.

The Asylum is a West Coast production company that is known for such gems as "Battle Star Wars", "Atlantic Rim", and "Clown." They specialize in knock-offs of big budget movies, that are about to be released, and just plain schlock.

Oh, and the "Sharknado" series of movies.

Yeah I've seen some of The Asylum's...um...films.

One was a horrible ripoff of The Da Vanci Code and National Treasure, and those are cheese to begin with. I'm watching as these so-called archeologists handle a bunch of priceless historical artifacts in the roughest and most careless manner possible. The plot involves some map on the Shroud of Turin that leads to some treasure buried in the middle of nowhere in Afganistan or something, and somehow Leonardo da Vinci was involved. The most ridiculous part of the film has the characters rolling up the Shroud in a ball after they steal it and then shoving it into a backpack. And the Shroud wasn't stored in anything that looks like a medieval church but some modren church or community center or something somewhere on SoCal. The whole thing was utterly ridiculous. It definitely ranks on the list of worst movies I've ever seen.

You want a bad movie night? Asylum's crap will probably do.
 


Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
What if we went the opposite path? Chose legendary directors to step outside their usual genres to “elevate“ pop culture icons?

What would Werner Herzog do retelling the Americanized Raymond Burr version of Godzilla?

Or if Ken Burns, handed the entirety of the canon of Star Wars or Star Trek?

How awful would those be? 😆
 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
I was looking of some of my old threads last night and dropped some likes here since this thread predates that system. I was wondering who rezzed this thread and why just a few hours later. It felt a little weird.
I am nothing if not a little weird.
 

billd91

Hobbit on Quest
What if we went the opposite path? Chose legendary directors to step outside their usual genres to “elevate“ pop culture icons?

What would Werner Herzog do retelling the Americanized Raymond Burr version of Godzilla?

Or if Ken Burns, handed the entirety of the canon of Star Wars or Star Trek?

How awful would those be? 😆
<narrator voice - James Earl Jones>
"My dearest Padme:
The Grand Army of the Republic continues to make progress against the threat of the Separatists, though I fear it will still be many weeks before I can once again hold you in my arms. Camp life is difficult as with few amenities. Dysentery has broken out again among the clone troopers."
 


Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
<Werner Hertzog voiceover >

“As Emiko and I watched the giant reptile meandering through the smoldering remnants of downtown Tokyo, it was harried by squadron after squadron of fighter pilots. Their brave but seemingly futile efforts reminded me of my own struggles bringing Fitzcarraldo to completion...”
 


The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!

The Pirate Captain meets Jane Austin in 1837, despite her having died in 1817.
-credit to my wife for this one.​
 



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