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The "Torment a Historian" movie playlist thread

Mustrum_Ridcully

Adventurer
I hope this is sarcasm or humor... Because if you take Monty Python seriously, there is no hope for you. ;)

But I can't think of any movies to add to the list, though I will agree with most of the ones proposed/mentioned/mocked so far.

Except the Uwe Boll idea. I know we'd need a low-cost director, but we can do better... And yet, I am drawing a blank. :erm:
Which would be better, unless you need to some tax deduction or secure some film funding support from local states or countries.
 

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Orius

Adventurer
Hey, Roger Coreman is still around ;)
Corman doesn't deserve to be compared to the likes of Uwe Boll or even J. J. Abrams! Yeah, the guy's known for B movie cheese, but he gave a lot of actors their first big break. He deserves credit for that at least.

Comet is playing this piece of crap right now:


Ok, so that's literary, not historical, but it's still awful. I was wondering what the hell was going on with the old token black guy wearing glasses and rolling my eyes at the really out of place techno soundtrack. Then I read on TVTropes it's some kind bizarre post-apocalyptic futuristic thing. The hell?! Oh man, this thing is terrible, and it's weighted down with ansty 90s seriousness.

Christopher Lambert had a line that went something like "The monster grows tired of the game." Jesus. Do you know how hard it was for me to NOT make a snarky Highlander crack there?

I think I'm hearing this weird grinding rumbling noise. Must be Tolkien rolling in his grave.
 



Zardnaar

Legend
The German sniper officer is a fabrication; I mean Stalingrad deserves a good movie, something about Pavlov's house would be better.

Soviets mowing down their own unarmed men with machine guns were a fabrication.

27 million dead and Hollywood spits out that go figure.
 

Eltab

Lord of the Hidden Layer
Any movie based on Shakespeare's historical plays.
The Bard gets the big picture and "how it worked out in the end" right, but everything else he altered for dramatic purposes.
 


Any movie based on Shakespeare's historical plays.
The Bard gets the big picture and "how it worked out in the end" right, but everything else he altered for dramatic purposes.
Some of the movies actually are more accurate than the original plays, or remove them from any historical context. Shakespeare could tell a story, but he was no historian. And the ones he based recent history are loaded with propaganda (because it was quite easy for a playwright to lose their head for saying the wrong thing in those days).
 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
I need to get some sleep.

I was going to post about some of the nifty Shakespearean films that are divorced from the original setting, and realized that many were retellings of Romeo & Juliet, like West Side Story and Romeo Must Die.

And my sleep-deprived brain went and created a mash-up of Romeo & Juliet with Aliens & Predators. My mind broke further trying to figure out the balcony scene* and which of the damaged directors would do the best/worst treatment of it.

(The death scene was easy- Alien fakes death, Predator stabs itself through the head, Alien sets off Predator’s mini-nuke.)


*
P: RRRRRRclkclkclkclkclk....ROWRRRRrrrrrrclkclkclk!

A: Chhhhhhhhhhhssssss! Chhhhhhhhhssssssss! Snrarl Grrrrrrrr Hissssssss, Chhhhhhhhhhhhhssssss?
 

Ryujin

Hero
Corman doesn't deserve to be compared to the likes of Uwe Boll or even J. J. Abrams! Yeah, the guy's known for B movie cheese, but he gave a lot of actors their first big break. He deserves credit for that at least.
You wanted a "low cost director" and "we could do better." That's where Corman comes in ;)
 

Orius

Adventurer
I need to get some sleep.

I was going to post about some of the nifty Shakespearean films that are divorced from the original setting, and realized that many were retellings of Romeo & Juliet, like West Side Story and Romeo Must Die.

And my sleep-deprived brain went and created a mash-up of Romeo & Juliet with Aliens & Predators. My mind broke further trying to figure out the balcony scene* and which of the damaged directors would do the best/worst treatment of it.

(The death scene was easy- Alien fakes death, Predator stabs itself through the head, Alien sets off Predator’s mini-nuke.)

In that case, I think you need to sleep less often. 😄
 

Istbor

Dances with Gnolls
I would say any of the movies dealing with Troy.

While fuzzy, I admit, they definitely are trying to depict it within a time period.

Pathfinder was pretty bad too. While intimidating, I would not want to wear those helmets. Though personally I found the movie cool at the time. Karl Urban. Nice.

Kingdom of Heaven. I also liked, but not historically accurate.
 







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