Things I'm Sick of - Action Movie Cliche #39

[S'mon]

One of the new Bond films brought it home for me. Bond was cool because he didn't need to get in a gunfight; he'd seduce his way into spectre's base. In Goldeneye, however, there was a scene where he was relying on the bad aim of his rivals. Poor show, Mr. Bond.

I agree entirely about Bond, I turned on the first Pierce Brosnan movie (the one with Sean Bean as 006) expecting return to the cool Sean Connery era. Instead I sat through 15 minutes of sub-Die Hard crap (hundreds of Russians fall at a single blow, you know), and turned off in disgust. I still lament it.

There was a great climactic battle scene in an old Bond, I think it was Roger Moore, with a couple of Soviet soldiers with SMGs vs Bond fighting amongst some parked rail carriages. That was exciting and tense, because it enabled suspension of disbelief. Bond kills 500 Russkies at a time just doesn't do it for me.

I blame Richard Burton's 'Where Eagles Dare' - it all seems to have started to go wrong from there!

 

[Number47]

Re: Re: Things I'm Sick of - Action Movie Cliche #39

Yeah, I remember playing the RE games and thinking "Whoah! This survival horror game is just like The Matrix! Dewd!"

Uh-huh.

J
will probably give it a miss - movies based on video games invariably suck anyway

DUDE! Don't forget about Super Mario Brothers! That movie was great. Okay, it was pretty good.

Movie cliches that annoy me:

• Henchmen all have glass jaws
• When somebody gets knocked down, you never have to worry if they'll get up again
• If one guy who has a name gets captured, it's worth the lives of a dozen red shirts to save him
• Cars shouldn't explode that easily
• If a car does explode, it shouldn't create a fireball a mile high
• If a car does explode, the blast shouldn't come from the rear seat or trunk
• If you wave your hand over the eyes of a dead guy, the eyes close (this is the most bizarre one!)
• If the only way you can succeed is through one, single, slim chance, you are guaranteed to succeed
• How many homemade bombs really have kill wires?
• The guy lives long enough to say whatever, but no more and no less
• If somebody has an accent, we don't have to feel bad if they die
• Catching on to something to save yourself after falling a hundred feet, but not dislocating your shoulder

I'm sure more will come to me!

 

[Frostmarrow]

Re: Re: Re: Things I'm Sick of - Action Movie Cliche #39

[*]If a car does explode, it shouldn't create a fireball a mile high

[*]If a car does explode, the manufacturer must recall thousands of cars which will cost them millions of dollars.

 

[Tom Cashel]

I don't think I'll especially like seeing Milla Jovovich vault-kick an undead doberman, but I'd much rather that than see her manage to pick up a gun and shoot it at twenty feet away.

I think I like watching Milla Jovovich do just about anything. She's so hot!

 

[Zappo]

I recall that the reason they fired Romero was because he wanted to introduce certain political elements (like in the Living Dead movies), which would have nothing to do with RE.

 

[Don]

I blame Richard Burton's 'Where Eagles Dare' - it all seems to have started to go wrong from there!

How dare you blaspheme that movie! (but, you're probably right, heh.)

Anyway, if there are any fans of 'Where Eagles Dare' out there, I suggest getting your hands on a copy of Return to Castle Wolfenstein. The first few levels of that game are totally inspired by that movie (there's even a part where you escape down a gondola).

I can't stand movies where there's one guy who never gets hit, but manages to kill hundreds of enemy soldiers (Commando, anyone?), but it's a different story when it comes to games.

 

[Don]

Re: Re: Re: Things I'm Sick of - Action Movie Cliche #39

Movie cliches that annoy me:

• Cars shouldn't explode that easily
• If a car does explode, it shouldn't create a fireball a mile high
• If a car does explode, the blast shouldn't come from the rear seat or trunk

I'm sure more will come to me!

No matter how dramatic the scene is, I can't help but laugh hysterically when a car explodes in a Hollywood movie. It's just too funny. There's this one movie (Bless The Child, I think it was) where a car smashes thru the guard rail on a bridge and hangs there for a minute or so before falling. While in the air, the car blows up in a brilliant explosion for no reason. It was priceless!

Last Action Hero got it right when Arnie's character comes into the "real world" and tries to blow up a taxi that the villain is escaping in by shooting at it from behind. The bullets go into the trunk, but the taxi doesn't explode, confounding Arnie's character ("bulletproof taxis?...").

 

[Furn_Darkside]

...running away from it, jumping and rebounding off a wall back toward it and doing a flying kick!

Salutations,

Wow, I watch a lot of action movies- and I have rarely seen that- and hardly enough to suggest it is a cliche.

The only movie cliche that bothers me is that most villians don't die by the heroes hand anymore- they die by falling and being impaled/crushed/whatever.

At times I suspect some pc-garbage about heroes not killing those trying to kill them, but I am too tired to start ranting. heh.

FD

 

[Pielorinho]

Bad one-liners right before bad guys are killed. Shudder.

I think Jerry Bruckheimer movies are the worst for this. If I'd had my coffee, I could think of a few real stinkers. But when good guys make cheesy puns right before they throw the ubervillain out an airplane/pull the pins on all the ubervillain's grenades/shove the ubervillain in front of a cannon/fire the rocket on which the ubervillain is sitting, it makes me cringe.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (all hail Joss Whedon!) handles this kind of oneliner well. For small villains, Buffy makes puns, but then she criticizes herself for making bad ones, or chides the pile of dust for not appreciating her clever wit. Her self-awareness, that she's making bad puns, softens their blow. And for big bad guys, any final words aren't wisecracks. Remember Giles, at the end of last season? "I'm not a hero." Damn!

And The Count of Monte Cristo handled one-liners well. When bad guys get killed, or otherwise get their comeuppance, the protagonist usually says a witty one-liner. Again, though, it's clear that he's been thinking about saying it for awhile; and rather than utter some dreadfully cheesy pun, he says something calculated to send them into shock and terror. It's delicious.

So that's my most-hated action-movie cliche.

Anyone feel like making a rant about the sidekick who must get killed in order to propel the protagonist toward bloody revenge?

Daniel

 

[Ashtal]

Well...

As an apparent 'pinhead,' I'm looking forward to this movie.