Things that should not be said
- Thread starter Lodow MoBo
- Start date
Munin
First Post
As a general rule of thumb, questioning a creature whom you just slew is a VERY bad idea in any game I run.
Dead Frost Giant to Cleric: 'Trust me, that Great Red Wyrm moved out of that cavern ages ago. You've go nothing to worry about, I wouldn't even bother resting! Good luck, take care now!'
Dead Frost Giant to Cleric: 'Trust me, that Great Red Wyrm moved out of that cavern ages ago. You've go nothing to worry about, I wouldn't even bother resting! Good luck, take care now!'
Grishnak
First Post
In an old 2e adventure a ranger character was leading the group through some mountains when a mountain goat blocked the path looking agitated, well the ranger pc says out loud "I'll move towards the goat and push it over the edge" much to the other players amusement and the dm asking are you sure!!
Mordane76
First Post
Mercule said:
I'm actually loving the image of a group of halfing paladin PCs actually curb-stomping a Giant that this gave me... I might just have to do something like this in a d20 Modern game...
"Hold him down!"
"We're gonna stomp this unholy beast into repentence"
Sort of an Exorcist "The power of Christ compels you" thing meets Blood gangland curbstomping-enactment style.
Last edited:
megamania
Hero
The worst I can think of involved a Darksun Druid halfling with the wild talent of Dimensional Door.
His paper said he was LG but no way in he## was he. It began with a rescue of a female hostage some raiders had.
He would push the people through the Dim Door which exited about 100 feet up. Then when he reached the tent where the girl was, he threated to cut their #### off and eat them (Darksun halflings are known cannibals but common- chose cuts only folks!) When the raiders attacked he hacked and killed them by gutting them.
He (the player) had no idea why the girl was MORE AFRAID of him versus the raiders.
Ahhh...the good ol' days of playing and drinking....
His paper said he was LG but no way in he## was he. It began with a rescue of a female hostage some raiders had.
He would push the people through the Dim Door which exited about 100 feet up. Then when he reached the tent where the girl was, he threated to cut their #### off and eat them (Darksun halflings are known cannibals but common- chose cuts only folks!) When the raiders attacked he hacked and killed them by gutting them.
He (the player) had no idea why the girl was MORE AFRAID of him versus the raiders.
Ahhh...the good ol' days of playing and drinking....
Larry Fitz
First Post
I think one of the reasons Paladins have this whole, "Kill evil, kill it dead, don't talk to evil, kill it." notion is that they had strictures on association. Remember that? They couldn't even associate with neutral people for a long time, let alone be civil to an evil person. That rule encouraged constant use of detect evil, and the wanton slaughter of anyone who set off the evil geiger counter.
Because paladins are "called" I think they should get a divine conscience (the DM) giving them helpful hints. After all LG almost presupposes predetermination and a LG god that called a particular paladin had its reasons for doing so. I am tough on a paladin's behavior, but I try to give them a heads up before they screw up. If the paladin screws up, not only did he screw up, but a god chose poorly. A paladin of a Norse or Japanese tradition should have no problem killing the bad guys and then having the cleric extract info from their lifeless corpses. Sacrifice the bad guys to Odin or Thor and get information for your sacrifice; make the enemy die an honorable death for their liege, but get the information for the glory of your liege as well, no problems there. The intrinsic value of sentient life is a cultural thing, and not all cultures observe it.
Because paladins are "called" I think they should get a divine conscience (the DM) giving them helpful hints. After all LG almost presupposes predetermination and a LG god that called a particular paladin had its reasons for doing so. I am tough on a paladin's behavior, but I try to give them a heads up before they screw up. If the paladin screws up, not only did he screw up, but a god chose poorly. A paladin of a Norse or Japanese tradition should have no problem killing the bad guys and then having the cleric extract info from their lifeless corpses. Sacrifice the bad guys to Odin or Thor and get information for your sacrifice; make the enemy die an honorable death for their liege, but get the information for the glory of your liege as well, no problems there. The intrinsic value of sentient life is a cultural thing, and not all cultures observe it.
Voadam
Legend
You must be the ugliest archmage I've ever seen.
I don't care if he is the emperor, I don't take guff from anybody and I certainly don't bow.
Your god couldn't smite a fly.
I just have to not roll a one.
The DM would never send anything against us we couldn't handle.
Don't worry, the DM'd never let us die.
I don't care if he is the emperor, I don't take guff from anybody and I certainly don't bow.
Your god couldn't smite a fly.
I just have to not roll a one.
The DM would never send anything against us we couldn't handle.
Don't worry, the DM'd never let us die.
Rel
Liquid Awesome
From the book "How to Become a Superhero in 30 Days or Your Money Back":
"When speaking with reporters after a big battle, don't use the word 'clitoris'. It isn't necessary."
One other thing that shouldn't be said:
Party Monk (alone and without any means to fly) to Evil Wizard hovering overhead on a Flying Carpet: "We've got your wife!"
Evil Wizard (not pleased about having his wife being held hostage): *BZZZOT*!!! (The sound of a very nasty Lightning Bolt hitting the Monk).
"When speaking with reporters after a big battle, don't use the word 'clitoris'. It isn't necessary."
One other thing that shouldn't be said:
Party Monk (alone and without any means to fly) to Evil Wizard hovering overhead on a Flying Carpet: "We've got your wife!"
Evil Wizard (not pleased about having his wife being held hostage): *BZZZOT*!!! (The sound of a very nasty Lightning Bolt hitting the Monk).
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