Trying to be funny with insults

[BlackSilver]

To some of my friends, exchanging verbal abuse is the social equivalent of friendly sparring. An abusive but witty tirade is the highest form of compliment. One of my friends, some time after moving far far away, lamented the inability of his new acquantances to properly dish it out.

I think I understand what you mean. I have seen it, but never understood why some people do it and why others do not seem to "get it" (like me). A friend told me it that jocks do it more then anyone else. Being a jock has never appealed to me.

Then some other friends just have no interest in the nuances of linguistics. Your friend obviously has not picked up on that, and the best suggestion is likely just to not play along. Jabbing back is risky: the fine art of the exchange has certain guidelines.

Thank you. It is a mistake that I have made. I will not do so again.

Most importantly, hitting too close to home crosses over from funny to painful sometimes (I can't tell from the original post whether this is the case here). For example, the guy I mentioned above is rather large, but I'd never call him a fatty. No, he gets things like "anus-pharaoh." One of my brothers, on the other hand, is something of a jock - I'll typically greet him with something like "Tubby McLardass."

I feel that I know exactly what points I could say to hurt him, but I won't and I guess that is why I make such an easy target.

BTW- Talon5- you are welcome

 

[Felix]

You need to find your power as a woman, without crushing a weaker man.

Your friend sounds like a narcissist ... and quite possibly a misogynist as well.

I like to take digs at all my friends, male and female, at the gaming table and pretty much anywhere else. As such, some folks out there might classify me as a weak man, a narcissist, and quite possibly a misogynist, so my perspective might be useful.

Some folks' brains work so bloody fast that they absolutely must say every witty snipe that comes into their mind. They are terribly intelligent and can percieve flaws in other people, and conjure sentences to expose them in clever ways. Is this what he's doing?

Are his digs witty? Do you snicker when he flings them at other people, or are you as upset at jokes that target others as the jokes that target you? I would imagine that someone besides himself finds these jokes funny, since playing to a hostile crowd session after session tends to make you leave the game. So if some folks are laughing, then maybe they are just the clever joking cut-downs he says they are.

Personally, I find that today's blind drive for understanding and sensitivity has produced a generation of people wearing very thin skin. And by asking the people you are friends with to cease any and all friendly prodding you lose your ability to deal with the hateful insults of strangers; you will neither be able to respond nor be well-equipped to let them roll off your back.

So if your friend is one of those dubiously gifted insult-artists, you might want to think twice before telling him to stop venting his brain of the things he can't help thinking of.

And if what he says is clever, then it should be appreciated at such an informal meeting as a gaming table. Wearing a frown when someone gets off a good one is being a bad sport; appreciate your friend's talents. Just make sure to send his stupid ones back in his face; if he does it so much then not everything he says will be gold.

Or you can learn how to let these things not bother you. You'll meet these kind of folks who will be insincere when they say "kidding", so I suggest you cut your teeth with one who is kidding.

He's joking... you could try laughing, yes?

At least, that's what a weak-minded, narcissistic, misogynistic male making an example of his cognitive dissonance and inadaquately asserting his empowerment would do.

 

[Talon5]

I like to take digs at all my friends, male and female, at the gaming table and pretty much anywhere else. As such, some folks out there might classify me as a weak man, a narcissist, and quite possibly a misogynist, so my perspective might be useful.

I have found that people who have a quick wit usually lack empath. They can't see the pain they inflict on people they think of as friends because their tongue is so sharp.

Real friends don't attack you with jokes and insults, they say- "sorry, I was trying to be funny and it seemed like a good joke."

Are his digs witty? Do you snicker when he flings them at other people, or are you as upset at jokes that target others as the jokes that target you? I would imagine that someone besides himself finds these jokes funny, since playing to a hostile crowd session after session tends to make you leave the game. So if some folks are laughing, then maybe they are just the clever joking cut-downs he says they are.

Not sure about BlackSilver, but... the individual seems to lack any confrontational talents (as stated in previous threads and responses).

I know the individual that I deal with has a talent for being funny, right, and insulting. He targets usually only me- why? Most flawed is my guess, or perhaps its the thinness of my skin- he knows to much about me, knows the pain I carry about with me the raw emotion of seeing to much.

So if your friend is one of those dubiously gifted insult-artists, you might want to think twice before telling him to stop venting his brain of the things he can't help thinking of.

Tell me- would you stop a man from attacking a child- would you stop a professional bully from beating up someone with no ability to defend themselves or would you stand there laughing, watching?

And if what he says is clever, then it should be appreciated at such an informal meeting as a gaming table. Wearing a frown when someone gets off a good one is being a bad sport; appreciate your friend's talents. Just make sure to send his stupid ones back in his face; if he does it so much then not everything he says will be gold.

Yes, you are one of those people with a talent for strong sense of wit, and you have no clue that some people- such as myself (and I suspect BlackSilver) have no idea how do do such things. Hell I can hardly talk most of the time and can't seem to get a cognative thought out of my mouth, its not a desire to be such, its just a lacking in a talent.

Or you can learn how to let these things not bother you. You'll meet these kind of folks who will be insincere when they say "kidding", so I suggest you cut your teeth with one who is kidding.

You quite obvioulsy have no demons following you. No inner pain that you can not relieve yourself of, so you obviously can not understand.

He's joking... you could try laughing, yes?

And I could also attempt to laugh while being beaten by a so called friend.

At least, that's what a weak-minded, narcissistic, misogynistic male making an example of his cognitive dissonance and inadaquately asserting his empowerment would do.

Yu sound hurt by this thread. As my brother has said in the past- only the truth hurts.

My apologies to you all. BlackSilver- you gave a few kind words to me. Don't let the quick wit scare you off, we will kill our demons one day and be free of them.

 

[hong]

You quite obvioulsy have no demons following you. No inner pain that you can not relieve yourself of, so you obviously can not understand.

I think that's a sign of a kidney stone. They HURT, mang.

 

[Talon5]

I think that's a sign of a kidney stone. They HURT, mang.

That is possible I suppose.

Nah, its just a lot of death and destruction in the real world oh, so many years ago. I am finding that emotional pain can do more then give you nightmares, depression, in ability to commit to relationships, etc.

I have been getting better, but changing is a lot harder then you would think (it was easier to learn to be left handed then change this much inside).

Peace.

 

[Nuclear Platypus]

Have you considered giving him a knife edge chop to the throat?

Seriously tho, it might be he's an attention whore so not giving him what he wants will eventually get him to stop. But keep the Hasan Chop to the throat as a backup plan.

 

[LostSoul]

Contrary to many impressions of the label, a narcissist is often a very sensitive and caring person. Their ideal goal in life is to make everyone happy.

Narcissists (as in someone who matches the DSM-IV description for narcissictic personality disorder) are very troubled people. Here's what my Call of Cthulhu book says on the subject :

Narcissistic: Exaggerated sense of self-importance, craves attention and admiration, considers others' rights and feelings as of less importance than his own.

Gamemasters should know... their antisocial nature makes them ill-suited for party members.

Anyway, I always thought that somebody who made jokes like that was passive-agressive.

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Sarcasm Rules, But ...

Personally, I find that today's blind drive for understanding and sensitivity has produced a generation of people wearing very thin skin. And by asking the people you are friends with to cease any and all friendly prodding you lose your ability to deal with the hateful insults of strangers; you will neither be able to respond nor be well-equipped to let them roll off your back.

You are correct sir.

However if the situation has gotten out of hand, then perhaps a little bit of "blind understanding" would be appropriate.

After all, human empathy is not vile submission.

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Mythos Psychology: Narcissism & Cthulhu

Narcissists (as in someone who matches the DSM-IV description for narcissictic personality disorder) are very troubled people. Here's what my Call of Cthulhu book says on the subject.

You're right about that, however everyone has narcissistic qualities (esp. first-born male children in patriarchal cultures).

Nonetheless, only pathological narcissists deserve true classification as mentally ill in the DSM-IV and the Cthulhu Mythos.

Anyway, I always thought that somebody who made jokes like that was passive-agressive.

Passive-agressive behavior is not confined to narcissists, but it is one of their defining traits. For all of their jabs, narcissists are very thin-skinned and tend to lash out at those they envy in irrational ways.

 

[The Thayan Menace]

More "Psychobabble" From Thay

My apologies to you all. BlackSilver- you gave a few kind words to me. Don't let the quick wit scare you off, we will kill our demons one day and be free of them.

First off, I validate both of you.

Second, if BlackSilver cares about her sarcastic friend, then she will tame the demon rather than kill it.

Thirdly, to my man Felix:

Narcissism and quick wit are very closely related. In fact, narcissism is also connected to instances of supposed genius, charisma, clairvoyance, and telepathy.

Most people cannot think that fast ... so you astound them.

Still, if you told them that you developed phenomenal memory capacity because you needed to keep your stories straight about your own lies ... they might not be as impressed with you.

Remember:

If you are good, there's always someone who is better.
If you are better, there's always someone who is the best.
If you are the best, there's always someone who is lucky.

Believe it or not, you can keep your friends and your sarcasm. However, if you simply don't care about working at it, the green-eyed monster will eat your friends and you.

Felix, you are a good man ... be a better man.

Don't be the Stone Boy.