In my group of players it has become normal to make fun of each other in a joking way. We can all laugh at ourselves, and we realize it is just a game. And most importantly we trust each other as friends, so we know that if someone says something, they don't mean it to hurt us. It's just showing that they care, and that we've got a close emotional bond.
And that we're mostly all guys or tomboys, who know that turnabout's fair play. Some insults are just funny, and we accept the recurring ones as part of our character.
I have come to acknowledge that I'm not good at delivering jokes, and that I'm a horrible flirt (with a horrible success rate). Neil is made fun of for being too nice for his own good, and for brooding about how much he'd rather be a mean person. We make fun of Michael, who is the main guy who cracks these jokes, for being so emotionally hollow that he can only find joy by hanging out with losers like us. With Ted, we joke how he's an attention whore who once did a headstand at a movie theater to get people to listen to what he was saying.
It's just our way of saying, "I love you."
In your situation, though, I think you have to decide whether you're okay with your friend using that type of friendly insult. I'm pretty confident from the way you described him that he's not actually trying to hurt you, so you could just laugh off anything he says at you. Maybe even joke back that his insults are pathetic.
Or, if you don't feel comfortable with that sort of affection, just tell him outright that you don't see it as a joke. If he's the aggressive type, or the defensive type, you'll have to be firm. If he says, "I'm just kidding" or "It don't mean nothing," reply firmly that you don't think that's how friends should talk to each other. You'd have to convince him that you're strong enough to take the worst he throws at you, but that you simply disapprove of what he's doing. If he perceives that you're doing this because he's hurt your feelings, he may think you're being weak, or a spoilsport.
It's not a really daunting situation, honestly. How old are you? All the way until 11th grade, pretty much everyone I knew made fun of me. It ended up giving me a nice perspective on life, since I know that overall I'm happier than most of them. Now that I'm graduated from college, I tell myself that those who aren't my friends use insults to try to feel superior because they actually are nervous (or they're
s), and those who are my friends are still too uncomfortable to honestly say how they feel. Me, though, I'm honest.
Honest, yet flexible. I try to figure out how people like to interact socially, and I do my best to be friends the way they like most, without compromising my principles. Sure, sometimes I run into trouble (e.g., most of my best friends are the 'friendly joker' types, so occasionally I make jokes I shouldn't at the expense of my more sensitive friends), but I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a nice guy.
At least, I hope that's what they're saying about me.
, and I would like to hear some ideas on how to handle the problem.
) in telling you what his problem is.
