TURTLEDOME!: Battle Bone (DM: KenHood, Judge: Lord S.)

[weldon]

"Marco?" says Marco's wife, "Are you okay?"

I'm so glad to see that you're OK! Are all the children safe?

Finnian, no stranger to the blood and gore of the hunt, picks through the fallen combatants and arranges their bodies to one side of the room. He carefully separates any useful or interesting items in a small pile to the side of the bodies.

Perception Check (1d20+2=5)

What should we do with the... remains? And do we need to call the guards?

[sblock=Looting]Finnian is looking for weapons, armor, and items. He'll probably ignore clothing and robes. He's certainly not familiar with magic items and might overlook something[/sblock]

 

[fireinthedust]

Emral, sorcerer supreme! We just, uh, liberated you from the last bunch who were here. I remember overhearing you during the fight, if you know what I mean, and I figured I'd say hello and see how you're doing. So, er: "hello!" If you don't mind my asking, are you a trapped spirit or an intelligent magical item-type deal here? I ask because I see this shrunken head, and I think, I dunno, some kind of enslavement?

is Dave attached to a necklace, or a thong to tie to a belt?

 

[Reklaw]

[sblock=Roll][2,10] = (12)=Arcana[/sblock]

Sorry no time for much more than the arcana roll. Once drivan recovers from the intense heat and pain he looks over everything, helps Emral examine Dave's shrunken head and examines Roger's robes. He also looks everything else over in case he can help identify something magical... unlikely with that roll though.

 

[mohalloran]

[sblock=KenHood]Was the axe that the half-orc had a large battleaxe, or a regular battleaxe.[/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

I'm so glad to see that you're OK! Are all the children safe?

"Yes! Certainly, Mr. Finnian! They only managed to kidnap a couple of the children. The others managed to get away."

Finnian moves the bodies out of the way. Marco and his wife shed tears of joy in gratitude for your rescue, thanking each of you in person, before they leave with the children. Uncle Mikey follows, but not before offering a final "Duuuuuuuude!" and hugging each of you.

Emral, sorcerer supreme!

"Hah! You're a funny one! Dave, Spirit of War, likes you!"

If you don't mind my asking, are you a trapped spirit or an intelligent magical item-type deal here?

"Yes to the former, no to the latter."

I ask because I see this shrunken head, and I think, I dunno, some kind of enslavement?

"The worst kind of enslavement. I've been trapped in this horrible head ever since that varlet's great-great-great-grandfather managed to bind me using the ___________." (For some reason, your brain won't wrap around that word.) "I'd be indebted to your and your friends if you would be so kind as to smash this little head into bits and incinerate the remains."

Is Dave attached to a necklace, or a thong to tie to a belt?

He's trapped in a little, mummified head about the size of a baseball. You hold onto him by the long, stringy hair.

Drivan studies the items that Finnian collects from the bodies. He detects magical auras on several items, which include...

• Battlecrazed Large Battleaxe +1 (or whatever size Vaunea prefers)
• Tooth of Chaos +1
• Robe of Scintillation +1
• Cloak of Distortion +1
• Potions of Healing (x2)
• The Wand of Super-Charged Mass Destruction +1

In the corner of the storage room, the party finds a worktable obviously in use by Roger. On the table is a scroll, next to an odd looking metal object resting in the center of a chalk circle. On the table is a small bag. The items are...

• Scroll of Disenchant Item
• Sigil of Companionship
• Bag: Contains 200 gp worth of residuum.

In the room where Olivia and Roger made their last stand, the party finds...

• A shattered lamp whose broken lenses radiate a strong magical aura
• A small chest containing 90 gp and a 100 gp gem.
• A Ritual Book: Secret Page, Eye of Alarm, Pyrotechnics, Endure Elements, Amanuensis

The gold collected from the exploding leperchauns comes out to 378 gp per party member. (This is your time-based gold reward.)

 

[fireinthedust]

"The worst kind of enslavement. I've been trapped in this horrible head ever since that varlet's great-great-great-grandfather managed to bind me using the ___________." (For some reason, your brain won't wrap around that word.) "I'd be indebted to your and your friends if you would be so kind as to smash this little head into bits and incinerate the remains."

Ok. Any preference on where and how we crush the head and burn it? Oh, and you won't be destroyed by that, will you? I mean, I'll do it (no problem) but I have all these questions. Maybe I can ask on the way?
Hey Drivan, did you get a load of this guy? We have to crush the head and burn the remains. He helped us, I like him, but could you research and see if he's evil? Also, he said something about how he got mummified, but it got redacted by my mind; kinda like how us talking about TURTLEDOME! gets redacted.
Hey Dave, did this happen to you because of a contract? Like with an Oni? You're not evil, are you? Like, what were you before you got put in the head? Oh, and on a more "right now" kind of note, do you know what all the magical items they were carrying do? Like those lenses.

He's trapped in a little, mummified head about the size of a baseball. You hold onto him by the long, stringy hair.

ooc: Um, but you said hea-- ew! (FitD squirms away from the laptop... then tentatively types out the rest of his (ugh) questions).

like these:

[sblock=Ken and Judges]

The gold collected from the exploding leperchauns comes out to 378 gp per party member. (This is your time-based gold reward.)

How do I note these on Emral's sheet? Ditto the XP he's got so far (I didn't do that, btw). Do I need to reference this post somehow?
[/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

Any preference on where and how we crush the head and burn it?

"The sooner the better. Being bound to localized four-dimensional spacetime is a bit of a drag. I'd like to get back to my normal fifteen-dimensional existence as soon as possible, though technically 'soon' won't have much meaning once I exit this particular frame of reference."

Oh, and you won't be destroyed by that, will you?

"Not at all. I'm more real than your reality, so you cannot harm me by direct or indirect means, though apparently, I can be bound to a specific, properly prepared object, which was a bit of a surprise, as you can imagine. Not being bound by causality tends to leave one a little unprepared for planning to avoid certain events, seeing as they're not eventual from one's perspective."

Maybe I can ask on the way?

"Certainly. I think it will be much better than having someone ask me for strategic or tactical advice, then completely ignoring my directions. Technically, I don't experience emotions like you do, because I'm not tied to a biological existence, but let me just say, I really hated Roger's family. Once he met that sociopathic tart, the situation only got worse."

Also, he said something about how he got mummified...

"No, no. I'm not mummified. This head is mummified, but it's not my head, considering that I transcend tangibility and for all intents and purposes lack a head."

Hey Dave, did this happen to you because of a contract?

"No. It was a spell in the __________. You'd think the gods wouldn't leave things like that lying around for mortals to find. Sometimes, they're rather sloppy..."

Like with an Oni?

"No. Like I mentioned earlier, my imprisonment involved Roger's ancestor, an archmage...and a complete ******."

You're not evil, are you?

"I mean no offense when I say this, but that's a bit of a silly question. If I'm evil, I'll lie. If I'm good, I'll tell the truth. Either way, the answer is the same. Honestly, I like to think of myself as beyond the petty concerns of good and evil, transcending mortal limitations, percieving the multiverse on a more grand scale, et cetera and so forth."

Like, what were you before you got put in the head?

"I am what I always am: Dave, Spirit of War. I could go into details, but the information would cause your head to explode."

Oh, and on a more "right now" kind of note, do you know what all the magical items they were carrying do?

"No. I'm the Spirit of War, not the Spirit of Knowing What Things Do. (His name is Ralph. A rather pleasant fellow.)"

Like those lenses.

"Sorry. I'm afraid I can't perceive anything unless the head is in direct physical contact with a member of Roger's family and I'm acting under that person's orders. You'd think I'd go insane with such limited sensory input, but I'm feeling quite fine."

[sblock=FitD]

How do I note these on Emral's sheet? Ditto the XP he's got so far (I didn't do that, btw). Do I need to reference this post somehow?

Check the other character sheets. There's usually a treasure section. To maintain the 'chain of custody' link back to the original post.[/sblock]

 

[fireinthedust]

Emral leans down, picks up Roger's hand, baskets it with his own fingers, and places Dave between them. Hey, does this give you any sensory input? "look around the room" ...oh, and did you want me to smash you right away, or is there a special way to go about it?

 

[KenHood]

"Not a thing. It's a connection with the soul, not the body, so touching me to the corpse will have no effect."

"As far as smashing the head: swing away. There's no need to be formal."

 

[fireinthedust]

sounds good to me! Emral drops the (really gross) dead hand, then takes the head to the nearest fireplace, holding the head in his hand and his hand shoved up the chimney. He begins to use Flameburst, igniting it up the chimney so he doesn't burn the house down or hurt anyone. He does this continuously until the head is a handfull of ash. Hey, when I release you, I could use some help for my party before we go into the arena. We're going to be fighting the Legion of Bone, and we lost our warlord/strategist to a raging mob. Any advice for fighting a horde of skeletons?