TURTLEDOME!: Battle Bone (DM: KenHood, Judge: Lord S.)

[Reklaw]

Drivan stands in line waiting for it to be his turn to sign the document. He looks rather amused at the banter between Ted and Vaurea. His attention is constantly drawn away by the size of the turtle, every now and then he looks back and forth from the city to the turtle, as if comparing size.

"Excuse me, how large is the turtle, as long as that isn't censored information?" Drivan asks, looking curiously at the skull lord.

[sblock=OOC]I swear I posted this yesterday and actually saw it posted here, weird... A link to my character sheet is in my sig block and I'm fixing what you recommended.[/sblock]

 

[mohalloran]

[sblock='OOC']Well, I hope that the SlashDot craze ends soon, cause it's slightly difficult to get on here and post. Too bad we don't have a cleric to help with the turn undead trick, huh? [/sblock]

 

[Reklaw]

[sblock=ooc]I'm approved! I didn't get the chance to get the spell changed out but that should be fine, right? Can just pick it up at level 2! Looking forward to this adventure. The traffic from slashdot seems to have died down a bit thankfully![/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

Emral smirks, then takes the pen and signs.

The skull lord stops playing the accordian and accepts the clipboard from Emral and reads the signature. "Nice to meet you, Emral."

"Hey, at least he followed half the instructions," says the leftmost skull, Ned, "Some people's kids. I tell ya."

"Yeah, were you raised in a barn? It's generally good manners to introduce yourself to people."

"Mmm-hmm. And once we're inside the TURTLEDOME! and we say something like, 'Please, step into the elevator' and you only do half of it. Well..."

"Let's just say there will only be half of you."

"Good thing we've got that gelatinous cube for janitorial services."

So what's this that I won't be able to say to anyone who hasn't signed? TURTLEDOG! special sauce isn't... soylent green, is it?

"What? No!"

"That's gross! And I don't even know what that is!"

"I think it's a type of seaweed."

"The secret ingredient of the TURTLEDOG! special sauce is..."

The skull lord waves Emral closer.

All three heads shout at the same time. "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

They belly laugh, as do several of the spectators.

"Excuse me, how large is the turtle, as long as that isn't censored information?" Drivan asks, looking curiously at the skull lord.

"Uh..."

"I don't know. It's been a while since we last measured."

"Probably over half a mile now."

"That would be diameter."

"Because it's roundish."

"More ovular, really."

"That's a fun word to say. Ovular."

"Ovular."

"Ooooooovuuuuular."

The skull lord passes the clipboard to each adventurer in turn.

"Hmm. Looks like there's only four of you. We were hoping for more. You're not waiting on anyone are you?"

 

[mohalloran]

Vaunea takes the pen, after having watched a fellow arena combatant sign the papers. After having signed the sheet herself, Vaurea pulls out her battleaxe and holds it over her head, lets out a roar, and shouts, "I Vaurea! I kill! Vaurea slay TUR-TLE-DOME! None stand chance! Axe smash! Horns gore! Begin FIGHT!"

 

[KenHood]

"Oh...oh, Gods. Was that hot or what? If I had skin, I'd have goosebumps."

"And if I had bowels, I'd have **** myself. I mean, really, Ms. Vaunea, was that necessary?"

 

[Atanatotatos]

Hadarai signs on the clipboard before turning to look behind. My name is Hadarai Polemarkos. And yes, I believe someone is late.

 

[KenHood]

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Polemarkos," says the middle skull, "I supposed we can wait a few moments longer for your companion."

"But since we are waiting..."

The skull lord once again pumps up the accordian and sings the popular folk song, "Momma, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Paladins"

Paladins like glorious bloodshed and clear mountain mornings,
Little warm puppies, and children, and holy swords.
Them that don't know them won't like them,
And them that do, sometimes don't know how to take them.
He ain't wrong; he's just different,
But his god won't let him
Do things to make you think he's right.​

And everyone joins in on the chorus...

Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be paladins.
Don't let 'em lay hands on and swing divine swords.
Make 'em be clerics, rogues, or warlords.
Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be paladins.
They'll never stay home and they're always alone,
'specially in unaligned groups.​

 

[Reklaw]

Drivan takes the paperwork and looks it over before signing it himself. He looks a little bemused at the skull lord's song. Looking around he continues to hold onto the paperwork, waiting for the missing party member. "Do you think he might've gotten lost on the way over here? I thought he seemed fairly anxious to get over here..."

 

[mohalloran]

"Maybe he scared. Turtle quite large. May scare little men. More kill for my axe if he no come." Vaunea says through laughter. Looking at the proprietor of the TURTLEDOME! Vaunea asks, "You got song of strong fighters? If not, you write one of Vaunea after."