Wanted: Wedding tips for the financially challenged

[sniffles]

My SO of 15 years and I decided last year that we would like to make it legal. We had originally planned to wed this past April, but found we simply couldn't decide what we wanted to do. We're also very financially strapped. We know we don't want to just elope or have a civil ceremony - we'd like to have a gathering of friends and family. Our house isn't big enough to host it there, but we're having trouble finding another location we can afford.

Anybody out there got any good ideas for how to have a "real" wedding on a super-tiny budget?

 

[Teflon Billy]

How many people are you talking about?

 

[EricNoah]

We did it on the cheap, and we had to call in every single favor ... ever.

What people want to do after a wedding is get off their feet, relax, talk to people they haven't seen in a while, and eat some food. They will probably have as much fun eating off paper plates at a nice park as they would in a reception hall or restaurant. Depending on how many guests and who they are (mostly close family and friends?) it could even be some kind of a pot-luck.

If you kind of set the limits of what the reception is going to be, folks will get the hint. It could be just a catered buffet-style dinner with no dance, it could be "dry", it could have a definite ending time. These things could really help with the budget side of things.

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

How super-tiny do you consider the budget? Biggest costs at our wedding were catering the reception and the dress, but we escaped at around $2k, and could have been cheaper.

We were married outdoors on my in-law's front lawn -- no site fees. We rented some tables, chairs, and a tent, which probably could have been borrowed, and held the reception on-site. Preacher got a $100 tip. DJ was a friend of my wife's, who played for peanuts -- and the dance floor was the patio. No alcohol except BYOB, and a pot-luck would have saved most of the food costs -- though to be fair, my mother-in-law did offer to cook, but we told her to relax and not worry about it. Had about sixty guests, total. Poll your friends, cvall in favors -- pull it off. We had a blast, low stress, and remember it much more fondly than friends who dropped truly massive amounts of cash on their events

My folks got married on a mountain overlooking the ocean, tipped the preacher $50, only guests were us kids and four friends, and we went to a sit-down restaurant for a reception -- pretty cheap and simple (though, admittedly, second marriage for both of them).

 

[Fenris]

The biggest expense of a wedding is the reception. Limiting guests will work. But so will location. Many cities and churchs have hall that can be rented very in-expensively. If the gathering will be large, pot-luck is quite acceptable. And as other have mentioned back-yards work well too.

One idea is to have the wedding late (7 or 8 pm) (ie AFTER-dinner) then you can just served cake and punch, while still allowing people to socialize. This is an opportunity for them to join you in a happy moment and they will want to see you, so feeding them is secondary.

But the big thing is to draw up a budget and stick to it. We skimped on our flowers to upgrade something else (I forget what now). But you make your priorities and go with them.

Call those favors in and find out who of your friends are budding photographers and DJs who will help you out.

But above all: don't stress out about it. You want to enjoy this day and the time leading up to it. Good Luck

Fenris

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

Sniff - how low are you trying to go?

Some things you can do:

1.) Cash bar.
2.) Use silk flowers and arrange them yourself.
3.) Night-time wedding is a great idea - then you just have small stuff to snack on/cake.
4.) I'm sure I'll think of more...
5.) Make your own invites or have the local printing company do it (we had a local printing company do our invites and saved nearly $800).
6.) Get married on a week night or a Sunday night - the price of places to host a reception goes down significantly.
7.) Don't get married during "high traffic" wedding times. Avoid spring at all costs - go for super cold or super hot seasons.

But - I found the most important thing is to list the things you are not willing to skimp on and stick to those. For example, I know several brides that hired friends to take photos and ended up crying over thier pictures later. To this day, they are upset b/c they are ashamed to show friends and family their not-so-hot pictures.

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

More things I just remembered:

- Skipped the flowers, except for the bouquet (gathered in the woods by my father-in-law). They just die -- what's the point?
- Had two friends video the wedding.
- Had a friend who is a professional photographer take photos for the price of film & development. Some photographers will take shots for free, but charge for reprints. Just don't buy reprints.
- We put disposable cameras on the tables, and had people take pictures. Got more entertaining pictures from those than any the "official" photographer took.
- In-laws are jewelers, so the rings were wedding presents (and I got the engagement ring at cost!)

 

[Hijinks]

Are there any botanical gardens near you? There's a lovely one in Davenport, about an hour away from me, and it's in the middle of a park. When I saw it, I thought it would be a lovely place to get married, in the bower among the flowers, and then a casual reception on picnic blankets in the park.

A long time ago a SO and I were planning a wedding on $1000 budget (we wound up not getting married for unrelated reasons). We were going to have a cookout at a local park that had a small building with a kitchen and bathroom inside, and built-in grills outside. We were going to ask folks to bring potluck dishes. Yes, that isn't what you'd typically think of for a wedding, but if you want casual, that'd be a good way to go, in my opinion. You can supply the meat for the grill, and the alcohol, and if everyone attending brings a side dish or dessert (in lieu of presents - after 15 years together, is there really anything you need from a wedding registry?)

I'm one of those rare women who doesn't want a big church wedding. I'd rather just have a party where everyone's in jeans and comfy clothes, eating good food and having fun.

 

[der_kluge]

My oldest sister got married at a pavillion at the park near the lake. It was uber cheap. She had like just a maid of honor, and the groom just a best man. I think my Mom made the cake. There were some basic finger foods, but I don't recall there even being a reception. I think they spent a couple hundred dollars for the whole affair.

 

[alsih2o]

Find other couples getting married, have different weddings and the same big reception