What about Parents?

Eeralai said:
There is a lot of talk about girlfriends and wives and neighbors reactions to D&D on this site, but I am curious about the parents. I am especially curious how the parents of those of us who are supposedly adults now with jobs, spouses, kids, mortgages etc... feel about thier kids still gaming. My parents give my husband gaming books every birthday and Christmas, so they seem fairly accepting of it. Is that the norm?

Seems about the norm.
 

log in or register to remove this ad

My parents know that I play, and really don't know what to make of it.

On the other hand a couple of years ago I ran a demonstration Hack 'n' Slash D20 game for some kids, to show the parents what the game was about for a summer camp.

By the end of the session all the parents were playing while their kids watched.

Then again, these were parents who sent their kids to a summer program to play D&D, so the result may not be that atypical for that cross section of society. :p

The Auld Grump
 

My mother is schizophrenic, with a religious bent. Way back when the D&D cartoon was on, she caught me watching it, ripped the TV out of the wall, and threw it outside....

Fast forward a few years, and I'm a 4th (or 5th?) grader interested in mythology. I was living with my aunt and uncle. I discovered D&D 1e at the library I lived at, and I transcribed the books into composition notebooks. I had gotten through the PHB, DMG and MM, and was getting started on Oriental Adventures when some people came in to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... Their GM never showed up, so I ran the example of play from the DMG for them, and my first campaign was born.

When 2e came out, I kind of conned my aunt into buying the PHB and DMG for me, since she was getting rid of me for the summer- I made her feel bad, even though I didn't have any personal issues with staying with cousins for the summer. She just couldn't take care of me while working as much as possible in the tourist trap we lived in. That money helped us sail through the rest of the year. I was kid, I just knew I wanted something...

At any rate, the summer sucked except for those books. I had nothing in common with my cousins, so I mastered the rules and became really obsessed. when I went home and started school, my mediocre grades sunk lower. It's not that I didn't know the material, I just never did homework. It was D&D all day, every day. I went from being bored at school to having something to occupy my mind, and I went overboard.

My uncle saw the severe change in me and started giving me Hell. Then, both of them started asking about it among their friends. My aunt got decent information- that it was ok in moderation- but my uncle heard about all the cult and satanism accusations. The rest of my time with them (through HS graduation) was rougher.

I remember my uncle telling me that I couldn't bring my D&D books with me to a sleepover, and I consented, but hid them in the front of my pants... I was walking with my back unusually straight to hide them... and I got caught. If I remember right, I took off and brought them with me. Either way, we played that night- I didn't need the books at that point.

Around Junior Year, I had learned rebellion, but slid away from D&D. I had a girlfriend, and we had better things to do than play D&D... ;) so while there were semi-weekly games, the daily ones went away. Most of my other D&D friends were in the same boat, and we all got into trouble. The stuff we did was largely mischief, but one friend almost got shot by the police for having a realistic looking pellet gun when we were making a school movie. That same guy used to collect and make weapons. Another friend stole cars, vandalised buildings, and had the keys to every soda machine on Martha's Vineyard. We drank, etc... but we hardly played D&D. Even so, My aunt and uncle blamed D&D for these issues- the people who were getting into trouble were all of my old D&D buddies, and half the time, I was there for at least part of the trouble.

Nowadays, they're ok with it, and realize that what little gaming I did in HS prevented me from getting into worse trouble. Especially now that I've had a few things published, they realize that the time, if not well-spent, was building towards something. It's a funny thing to me to see the pride they have when they show a friend something I wrote, no matter how weird it is to them with their protestant sensibilities.

Sorry for the long post. Good thread, though.
 
Last edited:

20 years ago, when I first began playing, my mom wandered into the dining room where we setting up for the evening's game. She picked up my notes (I was the DM) and said, "So why are they going to hunt a Naga? For its hide?" Then, without another word, she put my notes down and walked out of the room. It took about 6 seconds for us to get the pun. She's passed on now, but I still remember that. She never really "got it", but she didn't mind at all. She liked my friends coming over (it kept me from asking for money to go out all the time... lol).
 
Last edited:

This an interesting topic. Makes me a bit wistful, though. My parents passed away long before I started roleplaying (late bloomer :D ). I think my mother would have taken it in stride; she always encouraged me to be tolerant and open-minded. Though she might have wondered why I spend so much time at it (up to 3 times a week on occasion).

My mother-in-law doesn't object to it either. My spouse used to play in high school and his parents didn't mind him hanging out all weekend with guys who were old enough to be his dad. I think the only objection she has to all our gaming is that we spend more time with our gaming friends than we do with her.

It's nice to see that the general consensus seems to be either encouragement or at worst indifference. I hope there aren't really too many people out there who've been estranged from their families or subjected to abuse just because they play RPGs.
 

Torm said:
My dad always says, "well, at least you never got into drugs or alcohol," like D&D is better than those things - but just barely. ;)
Thats not entirely true...I'll just leave it at that.

Anyway my folks just don't get the game and think it's sorta childish but they don't nag me about it or anything. They just accept it.
 

DungeonmasterCal said:
"So why are they going to hunt a Naga? For its hide?" Then, without another word, she put my notes down and walked out of the room. It took about 6 seconds for us to get the pun. She's passed on now, but I still remember that.

That put a smile on my face, DMC. And, as memories go, it's a good one. Thanks for sharing that.
 

Mom doesn't seem to care. Probably because I'm hanging out with friends. Now she won't go buy gaming stuff for me.... but it was her and her sister who got me into watching Star Trek and Star Wars (and then denying they were "closet" fans...).
 

Torm said:
My dad always says, "well, at least you never got into drugs or alcohol," like D&D is better than those things - but just barely. ;)

When I first started playing in the 4th grade, mom told me it was satanic, but bought me some books anyway, and told me I needed to keep them hidden from other members of the family. Makes sense, based on her other behavior. I'll have to ask if she still feels that way when she gets out of prison - in 2017. ;)

Didn't you know that D&D was the latest "crack"? :p It's totally addictive, man.....

Seriously, we could do worse, l mean we could be wasting our money on stuff like drugs and a booze problem....... :uhoh: I'd rather spend the little money I have on something that'll last more than a little while.

Torm: like your mom had a right to call YOU satanic...... :\
 

Crothian said:
MY parents don't get it. And for that matter neither do my brother or sister or extended family for the most part. They have nothing agianst the hobby they just don't understand it.

I just don't tell the extended family 'cause I KNOW they wouldn't get it. I doubt they get my interest in SF.... :\
 

Remove ads

Top