The fact is most bulk rules RPGs, ones where the players are expected to collect massive amounts of rules and try and remember all of them simply to play, are videogamey to me.
I'm surprised that so many people relate the term videogamey to nothing other than an insulting way to say you don't like something. No wonder people let it get under their skin when they hear someone use that as a comparison to an RPG.
But that is not how I use the term. I have a pretty clear definition, which I guess I've always assumed was pretty similar to the majority of people. I guess I've assumed wrong
1. I used it for the exact opposite of why the OP would use it. I'm by no means a rules guy...the less rules, the better! But, if having less rules takes away from the individuality of characters, then I see the character as just a clone of all the other characters. And I see video game characters as being pretty much clones of one another since there are way more limits to a video game when compared to any edition of D&D.
For example, cutting down the skill list. Lets say I want my rogue to be good at pickpocketing, but maybe he's never mastered the art of lock picking & never even tried to pick a lock in his life. Those are clearly 2 different talents of a "criminal" & combining them into 1 skill will make my rogue pretty much the same as most other rogues of the same level. I could pretend he sucks at lock picking, but I like having the actual distinction. I understand the benefits of cutting down the skill list, but I prefer the options for deeper customization than I do for having less options to keep track of. The skill list has never been a problem to me & it never even dawned on me that there was a problem. Knowing what my PC can and can't do was always a bonus for me.
2. An RPG is videogamey to me when it seems that rules are created first and the fluff is worked in second to try and explain why those rules exist. Sometimes the explanation is so far stretched that it doesn't even seem logical to me. My preference is when the fluff is created first, and then rules are created to try and make that fluff possible.
For example, Healing Surges & Second Wind. I have a hard time making sense of this. I understand we play a fantasy game and most of it isn't plausible in the first place. But I really appreciate the attempt that other editions have done to try and explain the "whys" of things.
The creation of the multiverse and it's relationship towards each plane, magic, gods, negative/positive energy, ect ect is really fantastic when you think about how the creators worked it all together. You can almost say, "That makes pretty good sense & almost seems plausible in real life". But Healing Surges & Second Wind makes no sense to me at all other than existing just so characters have less hassle to deal with in their "game". Even the whole 'rest 8 hours and gain back hitpoints equal to your level' doesn't make all that much sense, but I can still accept it with an open mind. But to be able to just heal up a little after a fight just because I basically willed my body to do so is just too far stretched. It makes it hard for me to take things serious and imagine my PC is in a real world.
3. An edition seems videogamey to me when power is taken away from the DM & that power is put in a players or PCs hands just because it will make it more fun for the player. It seems similar to a guy that likes to buy a video game and immediately play it with the cheat codes activated. It gives him some control over a world in a way that a DM might not necessarily want him to have control over.
For example, magic items. When a player is expected to get whatever magic items he wants rather than take what the world puts in front of him, it seems very videogamey to me. The reason is because in a video game, I know what items exist in the game & I can go online and find out how to obtain those items & find out where they're located. In real life, I may not necessarily know that Boots of Spider Climbing even exist, so why would I cry 'foul play' when I don't come across some at the store or eventually find them while adventuring?
Disclaimer: Any similarity to any specific edition in my examples is pure coincidence

In no way am I simply trying to bash any edition or say that anyone plays D&D wrong. The OP asked a question, and I have tried to give my answer the best I could based off of my own gaming experience. Don't hate the playa, hate the game....no wait, don't hate the game, hate the....no....uh...hate the playa & the game, but don't hate the DM?....no....ah screw it....