What should we do with the Seventh Edition?

[BookBarbarian]

Has anyone mentioned esports? Gotta have esports in 7E

 

[Son of the Serpent]

7e will also introduce a mechanic for deciding what race you are at the beginning of the day.

In the same supplement races will be added such as:
loyal citizen
Kardashian
Dogon
Dungeon

 

[Son of the Serpent]

Speaking of races, we'll FINALLY get a Dungeonborn to be the opposite of the Dragonborn.

Ah. You beat me to the punch by a minute or two.

 

[Son of the Serpent]

There will also be a magical warlord like prestige class with prereqs of 1 level each of sorceror and either rogue or fighter called a "soros". At level 1 you get the corps crafter feat and also the the corpse crafter feat, the latter of which you can use on yourself, all artificer feats available at 2 per level, and your natural lifespan is changed to "indefinite".

 

[Son of the Serpent]

A dozen Top-10 hits. Four Grammys. Two Golden Globes, an Academy Award, and the first RIAA Diamond album.

You gotta wonder what people we love are like, when the pariahs are like that...

Really? You know a lot of that happens entirely artificially right?

 

[Son of the Serpent]

7e will also get rid of dice and replace them with spinning tops as a bold statement about animal cruelty and the history of sheep fed hormones so they could be milked for their knuckle bones.

 

[Son of the Serpent]

Your irl social credit score, number of facebook friends, and number of children will be relevant stat modifiers.

7e will be renowned for its usage of cognitive behavioral therapy and its concern for assisting children with difficulty in social confo-i mean compatibility.

 

[Oofta]

I think this topic has been discussed enough. Time to discuss 9E*. The moment you download the ruleset your brain will be reconfigured and you will be assimilated.

In order to keep our AI overlords happy, we will all be programmed as lowest level monster possible. You will then be hunted down mercilessly as a form of entertainment which is the only value carbon based life forms can provide. Don't worry, after you die you'll be turned into soylent green and used as feedstock for other potential players. Resistance is futile. On the bright side, we get to play gnomes.

*WOTC (now a subsidiary of OmniCorp) realized that even number releases have a bad reputation and will skip 8E.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[Oofta]

I think that you aren't using those terms the same way the rest of us do.

What you meant to write is, "The worst aspect of 9e, of course, is the 'all gnome' requirement that really hammers home the dystopian nature of the game."

Don't worry, after your brain is rebooted you will come to see the glory of being a gnome. Your agonizingly painful death will be your release from a life of trashing the ultimate race and class.