Dread Necromancer from Heroes of Horror, and grab a reach weapon with your martial weapon proficency. I have a thri-kreen dread necro (uses a guisarme) that's a blast to play. I keep his minions intentionally low so as not to hog all of the combat time but between his skeletal minions and the undead he can summon the party has no shortage of meat shield to keep everyone else safe. We've got a wiz/archivist, bow happy satyr, and an assassin in the group, so like your group the disposable defenses are huge boon. Animate a couple of climbers (I have driders) and burrowers to add to the party's versatility. Once you gain Undead Mastery, grab a cloak of charisma and a few bags of holding. When you can control 90+ HD of skeletons, you'll need some storage room.
Oh wait. There's that paladin to consider. Hide your necromantic actions, pretend to be casting something else when you use summon undead, or better yet, pretend to be a cleric, and pretend that you're casting
control undead because you sensed an enemy caster summoning the very servants you summoned. It'll be fun roleplaying and won't be a problem until you hit level 20 and turn into a lich. Or could be a problem, but a fun problem, depends on your group though.

You'll have to hide your uses of animate undead, though.... I can say that the class is decent even without the undead minions, as we just recently hit a few dungeons primarily made up of 5' halls and 10' square rooms. With mostly Large undead in my service, the character was gimped, but even then saved the day with well timed uses of
hide from undead and
undeath to death. And it's unbelievable how effective a well place Ray of Enfeeblement can be. I was surprised.
Regardless, that's what I'd do, but it would really depend on the paladin's player. Our resident paly man would be hip to the idea of a little mystery in the group, and we'd most likely work out what would happen when/if the paly caught onto things ahead of time. My money goes to the necro changing his ways after some good evangelism from the paly, or more likely, going out in a fiery heroic bang that saves the rest of the group. Probably involving a portal to the Abyss and his skeletons versus a horde of demons while the rest of the party used the distraction to close the portal.