What Would You Screen at Cine Barsoom?

barsoomcore

Unattainable Ideal
Downtown Vancouver used to have half-a-dozen movie theatres, but many of them have closed down in the last few years and been converted into nightclubs.

And while I'm a fan of booty-shaking, I also think it's a real shame, because there are NO independent theatres in downtown Vancouver anymore. It's always been a dream of mine to buy one of these places, turn it BACK into a movie theatre, and start showing KICK-ASS movies that would draw HUGE crowds.

At least, in my dreams they draw HUGE crowds.

Anyway, my DVD of The Road Warrior arrived yesterday and watching a movie I'm so deeply familiar with in widescreen for the FIRST TIME EVER (I'd only ever seen the VHS version before) absolutely blew me away.

It's a beautiful, beautiful film. There are jaw-droppingly gorgeous shots throughout that picture -- there's a nighttime panorama of the refinery as Humugous' army pulls away, with the endless horizon a vast curve of deep blue above the angry red desert that's absolutely amazing -- and along with the tremendous sound design, this is really a movie that's begging to be seen in the theatre.

And it's not the only one. There's lots of great movies out there (see the thread on cheesy movies elsewhere) that I know I never saw in the theatres, and I bet lots of people haven't, and I'd sure like to believe that they'd come out to see them.

Conan The Barbarian. Supercop. John Carpenter's The Thing. King Kong.

Damn. Can you imagine a theatre where you could go and see pictures like that every day? Why is it that repertory theatres only ever seem to show wimpy Eurotrash fashionista crap (I may be slightly exaggerating here)? Where's the love for Naked Killer, or The Wild Bunch?

I suspect that it's a bad business model and that you'd lose your shirt. But if I come into a few cool million, I can think of worse ways to spend it.

What would YOUR theatre show? Or, just to play the fantasy game a little further, if I offered you a weekend's worth of programming at CineBarsoom, what would your lineup be?
 

log in or register to remove this ad

Road Warrior is a good choice. I saw that in the theater when it came out, and it was an amazing experience.

Stuff I'd like to see in the theater again:

1. Aliens
2. Blade Runner
3. The Terminator
4. Close Encounters
5. Bridge on the River Kwai
6. Die Hard
7. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
8. Jaws
9. L.A. Confidential
10. Citizen Kane (which I've never seen, because I've been holding out till I could see it in the theater)

I'm lucky, in that the Uptown theater here tends to show all the big pics that have been restored. In the past few years, I've gotten to see The Godfather, Lawrence of Arabia, Alien, 2001, and a bunch of others in all their glory. That same theater a few years back participated in Warner Brother's 75th Anniversary film festival, with the best of their pictures broken down by decade. I saw 30 of the 33 movies over the course of a week.
 





Alien
Lawrence of Arabia
Star Wars Trilogy (original, pre-Special Edition versions)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dead/Alive
LotR Trilogy (Extended Editions)
The Shining
The Haunting (original version)
Spaceballs
The Goonies
Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Hellraiser
Hellraiser II: Hellbound
Alice In Wonderland (Disney animated version)
 

If I have financial independence, then I don't have to make my cash with hideously overpriced and branded snacks. I can have popcorn and mango tea and other stuff for like $1 each. The theaters would be spotless and have ushers in each to keep order. I can afford for my general manager to be out of college. Those alone will net you the 'family' business and probably keep the place from being a money pit.

I'd have at least two screens and showcase theme nights in both.

Mon + Tues are dog nights for the movies, so you have to offer something better than TV. Something cool that looks good on the widescreen with full THX, and something with... some other kind of appeal.

Some Art films, sure, but also some other cool mainstream/geeky foriegn films we seldom see here outside of NY/LA. Shaun of the Dead, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Night Watch, stuff like that.

Saturdays: one theater shows a variety of kid-friendly stuff, has two ushers and someone with nurse training :) A place you can dump your kid for six hours. Superman I, the 60's Batman movie, Goonies, Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, old serials, old horror films, etc.
 

For stuff that really works better on a big screen, I'd go for
Beau Travail
Apocalypse Now
Aliens
2001: A space oddity
Star Wars trilogy (episodes iv-vi)
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Ran - actually all of Kurosawa's films tend to work better on a big screen
Blade Runner
Fantasia

and I could go on...
 
Last edited:

Sadly, I think the day of the theater is almost over. Now that home systems for even a modest income family can include big screens (high def optional) that make widescreen easy on the eyes and 5.1 Dolby stereo sound, what's the point? The only reason to see movies in theaters is because they're not on DVD yet.
 

Remove ads

Top