Whats a person to do?

[werk]

But it's not that easy. Every week, when it get near Sunday, I start calling around to make sure we can play. But some thing usualy come up and we can't. Then its too late to do anything else. True, me up and leaving the group to play in a more regular one might motivate them...

That's your problem. Schedule it. It's easier to schedule around something than it is to hope the date/time stays open for everyone...which isn't going to happen.

Sounds to me like you have plenty of time to do both. I'm looking at doing the same thing, if only for the summer, because most of my group are students and are studying abroad or going home or getting married during the summer.

I wouldn't even tell them about the new group. Alternate between groups, and maybe even take a couple of the best players from both groups and get a good game going. Remember, the grass is always greener...don't ruin your old group in favor of the new group that you don't know anything about yet.

 

[Oryan77]

It got so bad that I had to take a break. I was not sure if I wanted to DM anymore, but decided that I wanted to DM, but not have to constantly monitor behavior and enforce discipline. I am a teacher and don't want my game to be like my job.

I can totally relate to this. I frequently feel like it's a job. All the metagaming, powergaming, rules lawyering, hand holding, babying, and demanding is finally burning me out. It's so hard to find players that fit your own style of gaming. I don't know if I should stop playing, find new players & possilby go through the drama all over again, or just DM a couple of players instead of 4-5.

 

[DarrenGMiller]

Well, as to sceduling issues, what I do is have a large pool of players (about ten). The game only gets called off if we can't reach a 'quorum' (three players plus me as dm).

Due to our mixed up bag of schedules, it is very rare for all the players to be present for an entire session. Usually a few are there the whole time, a few have to leave early and a few have to arrive late.

But the game goes on- that's the key thing.

We are in the same boat. My group consists of (now) 6 players and myself. We have a firefighter, a police officer, a 911 operator, a restaurant employee, a hotel night auditor and a guy who works for a firm that consults in the construction and maintenance of sewer treatment plants and septic systems. I am a high school band director. With so many players working in the "public sector" it is amazing that they get to game at all. There is not a single night that is reliably free each week for the entire group. We game on Monday nights, because my group sprang from a FLGS weekly game that I ran. When the store became unfriendly, we moved out (in 2001) and I have one player (the firefighter) who has been with me since that game began in 2000. If 3 players can make a session, we play. That is our rule, no matter the current total size of the group.

DM

 

[DarrenGMiller]

I can totally relate to this. I frequently feel like it's a job. All the metagaming, powergaming, rules lawyering, hand holding, babying, and demanding is finally burning me out. It's so hard to find players that fit your own style of gaming. I don't know if I should stop playing, find new players & possilby go through the drama all over again, or just DM a couple of players instead of 4-5.

Those seem to be a fact of DMing. I know that not everybody goes through it, but many do. My advice: Don't quit DMing. Take a break. Think about what you want out of your game. Think about how often you want to game. Think about what behaviors you want or don't want at the table. Then, go about looking for players who want what you want in a game. I didn't think it was possible to find them and had dismissed all of the "find new players" advice I had gotten on messageboards and blamed myself. Finally, I reassessed and decided to "take back my game." Sure, it is your job to keep your players interested, that is part of DMing, but it is not your job to cater to their every whim and desire. I was gearing my game so much towards what my players wanted that I was not thinking about what I wanted in my game. Stick to your guns. These players are out there and some of them are probably in your group right now. Have an honest discussion about the type of game you want to run and find out if your players want to play in it. Don't game together just because you have been gaming with them for x years. If your gaming interests don't line up, then don't game together, because it will cause conflict eventually if you can't line up your preferences.

I know this is harsh, but EVERYONE at the table should enjoy the game, not just your players.

DM

 

[Sigdel]

So far I would like to thank all of you for your suggestions. I think what I will do is join this new group after anouncing a break from the old. After playing with this group for a bit (month or so), I will reassess whether or not the old group is worth staying in.
Like I said, thank you all so far and keep the suggestions coming. Lord knows, I need the help.

 

[Bran Blackbyrd]

I sympathize. My group hasn't played in about a year due to members moving away, leaving for college (the younger members) and people who simply haven't got any time.

All of the hard work I've put into my campaign world is just sitting on my hard drive.

 

[Bloodstone Press]

When I had this problem a few years ago, I left my first group and joined another group. In that group I found a few choice players that i really liked. I then got back in contact with a few of my favorite players from the original group and we all got together and made a sort of "super group." Which has turned out really well.

 

[JoeGKushner]

I'd try out the new group. You can make some new friends, see how other people play, experiement with new rule sets and see how other people preceive D&D.