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RPG Evolution: When Gaming Bleeds

Monte Cook Games recently released Consent in Gaming, a sensitive topic that addresses subjects that make some players uncomfortable. Central to the understanding of why there's a debate at all involves the concept of "bleed" in role-play.

Monte Cook Games recently released Consent in Gaming, a sensitive topic that addresses subjects that make some players uncomfortable. Central to the understanding of why there's a debate at all involves the concept of "bleed" in role-play.

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Picture courtesy of Pixabay.​

Bleed Basics

Courtney Kraft explains bleed:
It’s a phenomenon where the emotions from a character affect the player out of the game and vice versa. Part of the joy of roleplay comes from diving into the fantasy of being something we’re not. When we play a character for a long time, it’s easy to get swept up in the highs of victorious battle and the lows of character death. When these feelings persist after the game is over, that’s when bleed occurs.
Bleed isn't inherently bad. Like actors in a movie, players sometimes draw on experiences to fuel their role-playing, consciously or subconsciously, and this bleed can happen organically. What's of concern in gaming is when bleed has detrimental consequences to the player.

Consent in Gaming explains the risks of negative bleed:
There’s nothing wrong with bleed—in fact, it’s part of the reason we play games. We want to be excited when our character is excited, to feel the loss when our characters do. However, bleed can cause negative experiences if not handled carefully. For example, maybe a character acted in a way that your character didn’t like, and it made you angry at the player too. Or maybe your character is flirting with another character, and you’re worried that it’s also making you have feelings for the player. It’s important to talk about these distinctions between characters and players early and often, before things take an unexpected turn.
There are several aspects that create bleed, and it's central to understanding why someone would need consent in a game at all. Bleed is a result of immersion, and the level of immersion dictates the social contract of how the game is played. This isn't limited to rules alone, but rests as much on the other players as it is on the subject matter.

One of the experiences that create bleed is a player's association with the game's subject matter. For some players, less realistic games (like Dungeons & Dragons) have a lower chance of the game's experiences bleeding into real life, because it's fantasy and not analogous to real life. Modern games might have the opposite effect, mirroring real life situations a player has experience with. There are plenty of players who feel otherwise of course, particularly those deeply involved in role-playing their characters for some time -- I've experienced bleed role-playing a character on a spaceship just as easily as a modern game.

The other element that can affect bleed is how the game is played. Storytelling games often encourage deeper emotional involvement from a player, while more gamist tabletop games create a situational remove from the character by their nature -- miniatures, tactical combat, and other logistics that are less about role-playing and more about tactics. Live Action Role-Playing games (LARPs) have the player physically inhabit their role and are thus provide more opportunities for bleed. Conversely, Massive Multi-Player Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) might seem like they make bleed unlikely because the player is at a computer, experiencing the game through a virtual avatar -- and yet it can still happen. Players who play a game for a long time can experience more bleed than someone who just joined a game.

Dungeons & Dragons is a particular flashpoint for discussions of bleed, because while it is a fantasy game that can easily be played with disposable characters navigating a dungeon, it can also have surprisingly emotional depth and complexity -- as many live streams of tabletop play have demonstrated.

These two factors determine the "magic circle," where the reality of the world is replaced by the structure of another reality. The magic circle is not a magic wall -- it's porous, and players can easily have discussions about what's happening in the real world, make jokes derived from popular culture their characters would never know, or even just be influenced by their real life surroundings.

The deeper a player engages in the magic circle, the more immersed that player becomes. Governing the player's social contract within the magic circle is something Nordic LARP calls this "the alibi," in which the player accepts the premise that their actions don't reflect on them but rather their character:
Rather than playing a character who is very much like you (“close to home”), deliberately make character choices that separates the character from you and provides some differentiation. If your character has a very similar job to your ideal or actual job, find a reason for your character to change jobs. If your character has a very similar personality to you, find aspects of their personality that are different from yours to play up and focus on. Or play an alternate character that is deliberately “further from home”.

Bleeding Out

Where things get sticky is when real life circumstances apply to imaginary concepts. Bleed exists within the mind of each player but is influenced by the other players. It is fungible and can be highly personal. Additionally, what constitutes bleed can be an unconscious process. This isn't necessarily a problem -- after all, the rush of playing an awesome superhero can be a positive influence for someone who doesn't feel empowered in real life -- unless the bleed touches on negative subjects that makes the player uncomfortable. These psychological triggers are a form of "bleed-in," in which the player's psychology affects the character experience. Not all bleed moments are triggers, but they can be significantly distressing for players who have suffered some form of abuse or trauma.

Consent in Gaming attempts to address these issues by using a variety of tools to define the social contract. For players who are friends, those social contracts have likely been established over years through both in- and out-of-game experiences. But for players who are new to each other, social contracts can be difficult to determine up front, and tools like x-cards can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Thanks to the increasing popularity of tabletop role-playing games, players are coming from more diverse backgrounds with a wide range of experiences. An influx of new players means those experiences will not always be compatible with established social contracts. The recent incident at the UK Gaming Expo, as reported by Darryl is an egregious example of what happens when a game master's expectations of what's appropriate for a "mature" game doesn't match the assumed social contract of players at the table.

This sort of social contract reinforcement can seem intrusive to gamers who have long-suffered from suspicion that they are out of touch with reality, or that if they play an evil character, they are evil (an allegation propagated during the Satanic Panic). This need to perform under a "cover" in their "real" life has made the entire concept of bleed and its associated risks a particularly sensitive topic of discussion.

X-cards and consent discussions may not be for everyone, but as we welcome new players with new experiences into the hobby, those tools will help us all negotiate the social contract that makes every game's magic circle a magical experience.
 

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Michael Tresca

Michael Tresca

Derren

Hero
Just how many RPG gamers who can be traumatized by make believe so that they can't even speak about it do you think are out there?

Seriously, to me it sounds like the people you seem to wish to aid with the X card are barely functional and have much worse problems to worry about than playing an RPG at a con.
 

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Hussar

Legend
Just how many RPG gamers who can be traumatized by make believe so that they can't even speak about it do you think are out there?

Seriously, to me it sounds like the people you seem to wish to aid with the X card are barely functional and have much worse problems to worry about than playing an RPG at a con.

Well, I'm one of them.

As I mentioned before, the notion of romance in the game made me very, very uncomfortable. And, I did exactly what folks suggested - I tried to be a good player and play through it, I didn't want to make waves, I didn't want to disrupt the game.

And it kept going on and on. I wound up blowing up on the poor woman who was playing the other character, and, frankly, acting like a real ass hat. (Yeah, what a shock. Hussar being an ass hat. :D ) I actually dropped out of the game, though, to be fair, there were other reasons besides this one, but, this did play a part in my dropping out of a group that I had played with for quite a few years (the issue had never come up previously).

Now, I could not articulate at the time what was bothering me, and, wanting to be a "good player" I figured I could just gut my way through it and everything would be fine. But, it kept coming back up, session after session. And the longer it went on, the more difficult it was for me to say anything, until, well, it came to a head, I acted very poorly, lashed out at this poor woman who was doing absolutely nothing wrong, and pretty much taking a very large dump in the middle of the session.

So, yeah, having a way that I could just have touched a card, knowing that I wouldn't have to explain myself, because, honestly, I'm not entirely sure what all was bothering me that much and, well, I had zero interest in dissecting my brain in front of my gaming group, would have saved a ton of problems. I would have continued with the group quite happily (maybe - there were some other things that were bugging me, but, probably I would have continued) and everything would have been hunky dory.

Maybe you feel comfortable exposing your anxieties in front of a group of people, but, I, for one, certainly don't. So, @Derren, you tell me, what should I have done? How could I have communicated to the group that I had zero interest in playing out a romance with another player and it was making me so extremely uncomfortable that I was hating the session? How do I communicate that to the group in such a way that I don't have to justify my anxieties to anyone else, but, rather, know beforehand that my anxieties will be respected and every effort will be made to just move on, rather than trying to psychoanalyze me?
 

macd21

Adventurer
Just how many RPG gamers who can be traumatized by make believe so that they can't even speak about it do you think are out there?

Seriously, to me it sounds like the people you seem to wish to aid with the X card are barely functional and have much worse problems to worry about than playing an RPG at a con.

Those people exist, but the X-card isn’t just for them. You don’t have to be ‘barely functional’ to not want to talk about it at the table. Which results in players keeping their mouths shut and being miserable, then quite possibly taking it out on someone else (as in Hussar’s case) or leaving the group (as my player did).

I’ve heard plenty of horror stories from cons, of GMs who ran something someone was unhappy with, but they sat there and took it, because they couldn’t see a way to raise the issue and just waited it out (though in one case an arachnophobe did raise it, then left the table after the GM started throwing plastic spider minis at him). This naughty word happens, and more than you think.
 

pemerton

Legend
I'm not really following this thread, but I don't get what the problem with the X-card is meant to be.

If you're playing at home and don't like it, don't use it.

If you're GMing at a convention there are presumably already convention rules and expectations you're meant to abide by - is this the one that's going to break the metaphorical back?

If you're playing at a convention with the X-card on the table, how likely do you think it is that someone will use it? And suppose they do, what are you worried about as the consequences? I would think that playing with strangers is already a bit of a gamble, and again it seems strange to me to see the X-card as the last straw.

And finally, if others are using it and you're not at their tables what's the big deal?
 

generic

On that metempsychosis tweak
No, it really doesn't.

Which is why I keep trying to suggest possible strategies that a DM could use to move forward.

For example, if we're in the middle of that drug thing I posted earlier, and someone taps the X card, I'm going to avoid using that drug in the future. Now whether the person was triggered because of sharks, or drug use, or whatever, I don't care. I have the evidence, right in front of me, that something about that drug made a player feel very, very uncomfortable.

So, skip the drug. Easy.
I really do sympathize with your position Hussar. I'm the type of DM who, unless we've all agreed to play an intense horror game (which my group is actually doing now), never wants to force the players to feel uncomfortable in a game session.

It does, however, sound like what you're saying is that the X-card does give you telepathy. In your example, how am I supposed to know what's bothering the player if I can't simply ask them what's bothering them? I don't even need to ask why it's bothering them, but can I not ask what is bothering them?

Maybe this is more obvious for people who have better social skills than I.
 

Morrus

Well, that was fun
Staff member
How is it that every thread vaguely related to this topic zeroes in on and hyper-focuses solely on X-cards, over and over again? I mean, I know they were mentioned in the article, but so was a lot of other stuff, and we keep having this exact same conversation with the same participants again and again.
 

How is it that every thread vaguely related to this topic zeroes in on and hyper-focuses solely on X-cards, over and over again? I mean, I know they were mentioned in the article, but so was a lot of other stuff, and we keep having this exact same conversation with the same participants again and again.
When nerds get angry they hyperfixate on the source of their anger. Which may not be rational. They want everyone else to know they have OPINIONS. And by golly they will give their opinions.
 

evileeyore

Mrrrph
No, it really doesn't.
Then why keep glossing over the very real fact that you don't know and keep acting like it's 'super easy, barely an inconvenience'?

You don't know what the X Card was thrown over. Therefore, you can't know what is the cause. So to continue forward and force that player to face those traumas again, because you don;t know what the X Card was thrown over is very problematic as a GM.

Which is why I keep trying to suggest possible strategies that a DM could use to move forward.
There are only two strategies: 1 - Shut down the game and do something else. However since you're not allowed to ask the X Card thrower questions, what that something else is is beyond me. I mean they could then suggest a new activity, if they are up to making a suggestion unasked. 2 - Stop everything that is happening in scene and at the table, and do something else "safe in your perfect knowledge" that whatever else you move on to can't possibly further traumatize the X Card thrower.

For example, if we're in the middle of that drug thing I posted earlier, and someone taps the X card, I'm going to avoid using that drug in the future.
Why? In what way do you even know that the scene is what is causing the problem?

Real example: New player came into our group. Ten sessions in and we're all pretty on edge, the theme of the campaign this time around (albeit the Players did not know this) was 'managing failure'. So everything was stacked against us to the point of repeated and constant failure with our PCs barely escaping and scraping by. The GM had expected we'd get a few small marginal "least worst failures" here and there, but no, we exceeded expectations and had failed spectacularly in every endeavor. So, there we have it, the tableau is set:

Mid way in session ten during a downtime (the entirety of this session was our PCs dealing with 'downtime' stuff, trying to figure out how to continue even surviving, let alone figuring out how to deal with our enemies) new Player blows a fuse and starts yelling and then storms out.

Now, we knew why the Player got upset (they were quite vocal about it), but if they'd have had an X Card, we'd have never known. There was no scene to 'reset' or move beyond. No other Player was acting any differently (except a few us were way more listless and tuned out due to "bloody depressing game").

So Hussar, absent the actual knowledge the Player presented, had they instead silently tapped the X Card, how would you as GM have proceeded? And no, "I would have read the room and not presented so much failure" isn't the actual answer. The problem the Player finally decided they couldn't take had nothing to do with the campaign, but one of the other Players.

Now, later on down the road, over a coffee after the session, or perhaps even later, when the player has calmed down, THEN I might ask what the issue was.
Okay, so you are admitting that CiG is a terrible method of dealing with these problems, as it's response is to never ask the Player anything.

See, you keep insisting that this shuts down communication. No, it doesn't. It gives another avenue for communication that does not force anyone to expose their personal trauma at this time.
No it doesn't. As I keep repeating, all it tells you is that something is wrong. You don't know what that something is. To press forward happy in your perfect knowledge that just skipping this scene and never bringing up [SITUATION] again has solved this is farcical. If the problem is the normal behavior of another Player, you have done nothing to solve the problem. In fact, you may have just made it worse.

Demanding someone explain themselves...
When have I said I would demand anything? I would ask. If they do not wish to answer, that's fine, then knowing that I have no way to address the problem, there are two options; we take a break until the Player can at least mention what the problem is, so it can be avoided (or if it's the behavior of another Player it can be stopped/explained/interceded), or the Player needs to go (presumably somewhere where they will feel safer).

There are no other non-problematic options. If you continue forward in your perfect knowledge and present that trauma again because you don't know what it is, then it is you that are being deliberately toxic.



Just how many RPG gamers who can be traumatized by make believe so that they can't even speak about it do you think are out there?
Less that 100% but greater than 0%.



How is it that every thread vaguely related to this topic zeroes in on and hyper-focuses solely on X-cards, over and over again?
In my case it's less "the X Card" and more "the X Card and Consent in Gaming and how it is presented therein".

I mean, I know they were mentioned in the article, but so was a lot of other stuff, and we keep having this exact same conversation with the same participants again and again.
Clearly there is something about the X Card that we few find exceptionally problematic. It's even possible that we few have mentioned this over and over and over again and that problem keeps being ignored, hyperbolically inflated, or twisted into a straw man.
 


Phion

Explorer
As I mentioned before, (1.) the notion of romance in the game made me very, very uncomfortable. And, I did exactly what folks suggested - I tried to be a good player and play through it, I didn't want to make waves, I didn't want to disrupt the game.

Now, I could not articulate at the time what was bothering me, and, wanting to be a "good player"(2.) I figured I could just gut my way through it and everything would be fine. But, it kept coming back up, (3.)session after session. And the longer it went on, the more difficult it was for me to say anything, until, well, it came to a head, (4.) I acted very poorly, lashed out at this poor woman who was doing absolutely nothing wrong, and pretty much taking a very large dump in the middle of the session.

So, yeah,(5.) having a way that I could just have touched a card, knowing that I wouldn't have to explain myself, because, honestly, (6.) I'm not entirely sure what all was bothering me that much and, well, I had zero interest in dissecting my brain in front of my gaming group, would have saved a ton of problems. I would have continued with the group quite happily (maybe - there were some other things that were bugging me, but, probably I would have continued) and everything would have been hunky dory.

Maybe (7.) you feel comfortable exposing your anxieties in front of a group of people, but, I, for one, certainly don't. So, @Derren, you tell me, what should I have done? How could I have communicated to the group that I had zero interest in playing out a romance with another player and it was making me so extremely uncomfortable that I was hating the session? How do I communicate that to the group in such a way that I don't have to justify my anxieties to anyone else, but, rather, know beforehand that my anxieties will be respected and every effort will be made to just move on, (8.) rather than trying to psychoanalyze me?

Okay you see we have something to work with here, I have put comments in bold and a number to make it easier to bounce between points.
1.) You have told us what makes you uncomfortable, essentially your bleed. The group seem to not have an issue with it (I too find romance at the table distasteful).
2.) YOU decided you could deal with it. You were not forced. You knew what was making you uncomfortable with as shown in 1.). You of your own understanding of self thought you could get through it. Like a website or any content you click the "I agree" terms and conditions, you have consented to this.
3) "session after session". The group has made it clear that this is for better or worse what they do in their game. Whenever you show up to that table you are consenting to it like 2.). You knew that you were getting upset numerous times during sessions and yet like a moth to the flame you kept returning.
4) Taking the first 3 points to face value that is on you friend. You kept coming back to your trigger and as a consequence you caused that which you wanted to avoid. At no point you stated your group made it clear that a "good player" to them is one that just gets on with it. I am sure they would have respected you leaving the group more because their genre of play was not to your tastes instead of the alternative of you causing mass "bleed" because of you ignoring the first 3 points.
5.) And this is what the detractors dislike. If the detractors are selfish for not wanting the card to keep the play raw and true to their vision, then supporters are irresponsible for not wanting to take true ownership of their own actions with the context you provided.
6.) Incorrect. 1.) Shows romance was your trigger, 2.) shows YOU mentally decided you could manage and 3.) shows that historically your triggers were not going away.
7.) Tapping an X card is still revealing your anxiety, the group will not be blind to you tapping your card ergo they will still know you are anxious about something. Its just been expressed very inefficiently. " You keep tapping the X. Why? We are doing what we have done from the start, what is different now? (they thought in their heads because apparently they can not even truly state how they feel (do you not think this will cause bleed as negative feeling well up in frustration due to 1 player who will not express themselves openly?))
8) By this point no model set up by a corporation is going to stop a human passively psychoanalyze To deny the why is to deny the humanity.
 

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