When to Call it Quits

[MerakSpielman]

As a gamer who's married with kids, I feel sympathy for you. Luckily for me, my wife is into D&D too, so we came up with a solution. We advertised as a family-friendly, kids of all ages welcome group. Now we're a group composed primarily of married couples who bring their kids with them. We don't get a lot of hard-core gaming done because we keep having to stop for diapers, or end up talking about kids. But at least we're all on the same page, and this is what everybody was expecting when they signed up.

 

[Gizzard]

I understand people get caught up in their lives, but if you are telling me that a person can't put together the same amopunt of time as dinner and a movie once a month to game, I will call you a liar.

Depends on the campaign size. Ie, it's easy for one person to put aside time, it's less easy for the group to do so.

For instance, my campaign has 6 players which means that you've got to get 7 people's schedules to align. Weekends are pretty much booked for the players who have kids, so you're looking at playing mostly on weeknights. Over time, people have moved and changed jobs, they are driving in from all over the area to game. Maximum, we could play a bi-weekly 4 hour session, for a total of 8 hours a month. In fact, we play more like once a month, which brings up the problems Pandion mentioned: the campaign moves very slowly, and people have a hard time being involved because they don't quite remember what happened last session.

I've thought about dropping players down to 4 and trying to be more consistent about playing, but these guys are my friends and I don't want to cut out two friends in order to play more D&D. So, we'll continue on like we are. It's still fun to get together and play.

 

[mehrkat]

Gamers with family

I've been gaming for two decades and have a young child. In my younger days we split our weekends and gamed 4 or 5 games a weekend but now my time is more constrained.

My SO doesn't play but she accepts that for me this is my necessary me time and I'm not the partner or parent I want to be when I'm not given the release. Unfortunately I only get to play once per week but fortunately I get to play once per week.

My gaming group are all singles and there are several other simultaneous games going on that I am not a part of but they understand my time limitations. It means I miss a lot of their other games occastionally with much regret but they always plan one game I'm interested in in my "me time" window.

I don't have the time to GM so I don't even try anymore. A few failed attempts over the last few years have convinced me. To get out that desire I work on my created worlds and plot various evil plans and write them in a notebook giggle about it maniacally for a week or two and then let it sit on a shelf.

I think as gamers get older a few are going to leave the hobby and a few are just going stick with it but in different ways. As my child and trades me in for the cute girl down the street I expect I will start to have some time and may pick up the GM mantle again.

 

[Hitokiri]

Best way I've found to deal with this is to try to set definate timeframes for campaigns and find a pool of players you like. I know a bunch of people that play, and what types of games they like. In general, when I decide to run a game, I try to pick up the 1 or 2 people I think would work best in the type of game Im running and then determine a time that will work for the smaller group. Others can then join if their schedules allow. Also, I try not to run anything longer than a year (yes, this does limit you, but also allows you to wrap things up, and there is no reason you can't bring players back later or extend things if you really want to). I know for a long time, one group of about 10 of us would play weekly, with a different GM every 4 months or so, often playing in a different system. This really helps keep people from burning out as well as improve everyones abilities as a GM since they get exposed to a lot of different gaming styles.

 

[scourger]

ebb & flow

In 24 years of gaming, I've had many peaks and valleys. I had a four-year hiatus when I moved and hadn't yet made new gaming friends. I even "quit" a couple of times. Of course other commitments occasionally take priority. It may even be good to take an occasional hiatus (or sabbattical, as I have called it). But, it sounds like you are still willing to DM but have uncommitted players. Find another gaming outlet. Try a computer game (I've become partial to a particular shooter) or a minis game (I like Star Wars) or cards (like the ones from z-man games). These things are less intensive for you and the other players and can be very fun. Otherwise, make some new gaming friends and get a more regular schedule established.

 

[Tumbler]

As an answer to the original question, I'll quit when they pry my campaign notebook from my cold dead hands. I'll always find another group, even though I do love the guys I play with now. The reason for my dedication is that rping is always the most fun I have. As long as it remains fun, I'll endure some trouble outside the session to keep it going.

As far as time commitments go, I wouldn't mind a group that meets one day every six months if that was the original agreement and the focus was there when things came together. I just finished a three session hiatus with the group I play with every week so we could work, be with family, etc. This week we'll be back at it. I also have groups that only meet once or twice a year these days, but the sessions are still a blast when we do get together.

 

[Ogrork the Mighty]

You can try setting up a messageboard or emails to maintain player interest. Once D&D slips to the backs of peoples' minds, it's easy to lose interest. We use a messageboard to try to keep everyone interested.

 

[talien]

For my group we were only meeting once a month for only fours hours a session because of RL commitments. Hardly anything was getting done and enthusiasm was lacking because of it. I finally decided to stop going against the grain and end it.

This is too funny. We try to game twice a month, but it's usually once a month. We play for four hours (see my Arcanis thread in the Story Hour). And you know what? It works extremely well.

Why? As has already been said, nobody has the time, but we all have four hours. You make the time. Our DM is fantastic and we have a very cool group of players who go way back. We all are comfortable with each other. And I'm enjoying gaming with my wife.

The episodic nature of the "living" series of modules makes them perfect for these brief, intense gaming sessions. We're all there to play, we all make the time, and we travel up to an hour to do it.

Now to be fair, I used to game at least once every weekend in high school, sometimes twice in a weekend, for 6+ hour sessions. Now we budget our time, but it's time well spent.

 

[talien]

For instance, my campaign has 6 players which means that you've got to get 7 people's schedules to align. Weekends are pretty much booked for the players who have kids, so you're looking at playing mostly on weeknights. Over time, people have moved and changed jobs, they are driving in from all over the area to game. Maximum, we could play a bi-weekly 4 hour session, for a total of 8 hours a month. In fact, we play more like once a month, which brings up the problems Pandion mentioned: the campaign moves very slowly, and people have a hard time being involved because they don't quite remember what happened last session.

We have six players too. It's tougher (and only one of us has a baby on the way) than it was, but we've managed to make the time so far.

We play once a month too. The solution around "what the hell happened last month" has been resolved by me being a sort of co-DM, filling in the blanks for what our characters do between episodes and writing it all out as a Story Hour. I send it to everyone involved before posting it on ENWorld and ensure they vet what happened (sometimes, we tweak an event so it makes a better story too).

We thus have a log of sorts to always refer to. I bring a book of everyone's characters and the story so far to every session. It's worked really well, but it does require a DM and a co-DM of sorts.

I've thought about dropping players down to 4 and trying to be more consistent about playing, but these guys are my friends and I don't want to cut out two friends in order to play more D&D. So, we'll continue on like we are. It's still fun to get together and play.

The way I look at it? At minimum we need four people minimum (3 players, 1 DM). Three of us are always available (me, my wife, one of my buddies who lives near me) so we will ALWAYS have an opportunity to game. If someone can't make it, we have three other people to take up the slack, which happened last game. Now our problem is we have too many people wanting to play, which we really can't handle within four hours (as it is, six players is a lot).

Of course, the four hour games means that there's never a character disappearing in the middle of an adventure. The game has a definite beginning and ending point, so it's easier to explain if someone can't make it.

 

[shilsen]

When they pry the dice from my cold dead fingers

And no, I'm not really kidding. Even if one can't get a face-to-face group going with enough reliability to make it worthwhile, there are a lot of options now with online gaming.