D&D 5E Why are wizard's so weak? (A parody)

Asisreo

Patron Badass
Has anyone noticed how weak wizards are in D&D? It's ridiculous that Wizards of the Coast refuse to make their spellcasters good.

For one, their HitDice are so small, it's possible to die from two hits from a goblin at level 1! Or even one hit if they crit!

They don't incentivize constitution as much as intelligence and dexterity yet it's important for concentration and just living, so basically you need 3 ability scores in order to even be a decent spellcaster without getting turned into a pin cushion.

Their only defensive options are gatekept behind either a spell or a couple subclasses.

Speaking about class features, both the class and subclass features are so bad. Arcane recovery would be decent if the party ever took a short rest, otherwise it's non-existent. And you don't get another real class feature until level 18! What's up with that!?

The subclass features all kinda just fall flat from useful. First off, they all get this dumb copy spell discount as if copying a spell in combat is viable.

The evocation wizard, for instance, gets sculpt spell which sounds pretty nice but at this level you're only shooting out burning hands and thunderwaves. Not to mention that you can't even use them on magic missile! Unless you're constantly expending resources on evocation spells like a madman, which you only get 3 slots for the entire long rest, this feature is pretty bad for a long time. Fireball eventually comes up but only when campaigns are just about to end anyways.

Your spellslot acquisition sucks too. You're expected to be a professional at shooting spells yet after two or three rounds of looking cool, you're stuck playing second fiddle to the fighters, barbarians, and rogues. They get all their cool stuff at will. You can contribute meaningfully for 3-4 rounds before throwing subpar cantrips.

Did I mention that if you're a wizard and you're ever caught in melee, you're screwed? Because you are. You'd think you could just misty step away but as soon as you do, they'll just dash the 60ft to be back in melee and curbstomp you anyways. And since a wizard doesn't really have high AC even with their spells, they're getting creamed. Shield and mage armor is already 2 spell slots out of a probable 3-4 and the shield only lasts for a round. Plus, if they have multiattack or there's more than one, it's basically curtains for you.

It also doesn't fulfill the flavor of being born as a master of magic like in Harry Potter. Sure, he studies sometimes, but you can't just be a wizard because you study, you have to be born with it.

A wizard is supposed to get the most benefit from magic items, but the only ones worth getting don't improve your most important attack method (save DC) like a fighter and don't increase the damage like a fighter. In fact, even the +1 wands don't increase the damage of your spell attack damage. So they're basically useless unless you're stuck using the cantrips that aren't as good as a martial, at all.

A warlock has better damaging cantrips. How is that even fair? They get to add their ability mod to the damage and they have better distance and can push people? And they get to be a spellcaster with only a short rest resource. And the designers thought that was "balanced."

The wizard is even weak to other wizards! they can't counter a spell until level 5 and their counterspell can just be counterspelled and they eat a fireball anyways.

I can't tell you how many times the party had to watch me die as a group of goblins or orcs just swarmed at me and killed me before I even got to react. The DM just piles monsters on me and after 2-3 rounds, I'm either unconscious or completely dead. I can't escape, either. They surprise me or just plain shoot me until I die.

If anyone else feels like Wizards are weak and/or have any houserules to fix these problems to make the wizard playable, please list them below. I feel like wizards need to finally be playable like they were in 4e
 

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Asisreo

Patron Badass
Are you going for satire? And who are you pretending to be?
Satire? No. I'm deathly serious. How can I play D&D with these glaring flaws in my game? When I join a TTRPG, I join to win. But I can't do that when certain classes gets gimped. I've played wizard once for 2 sessions, died, and decided it wasn't for me. That's how I know the class sucks.

There's so many examples of poor game design in the wizard's case. What if the party doesn't have time to long rest in 2 days? Now, your spells are once per 3 days, which is terrible.

Wizards should've definitely had a martial subclass. Something like school of fist where you outperform martials in melee and spellcasters from a distance. That way, you are actually very balanced.

Even the subclasses aren't balanced between themselves. Why choose divination, where you leave your class features to chance, when you can go evocation and guarantee to do alot of damage.

I mean, c'mon, WoTC keeps gimping some of the most popular classes. The worst of which are Wizards, Clerics, and Paladins.

Clerics really grind my gears. How am I supposed to be a healbot if I have damaging spells? I only have one action, people. And the healing is abysmal. 1d8+4? What am I a commoner? Who's that supposed to heal?

And then they had the audacity to make Wish, the most powerful spell in the game, only 1 casting a day. Luckily, me and my DM came up with a homebrew that let me cast Wish 5 times a day with no repercussions and I've been having alot of fun recently. And as long as I'm happy, the DM's happy.

My final bone to pick is school of enchantment. What if your DM throws you a monster that has a high Wisdom or immune to charm? Most of your subclass features are invalidated. I'd say giving them a class feature that does 1d8 psychic damage with an enchantment spell and a 14th level feature that bypasses immunity would be very fair. They should also be able to cast weird at-will and cast power word kill but without the HP restriction.

I can tell that this houserule is fair and balanced because it makes me strong.
 

Satire? No. I'm deathly serious. How can I play D&D with these glaring flaws in my game? When I join a TTRPG, I join to win. But I can't do that when certain classes gets gimped. I've played wizard once for 2 sessions, died, and decided it wasn't for me. That's how I know the class sucks.

There's so many examples of poor game design in the wizard's case. What if the party doesn't have time to long rest in 2 days? Now, your spells are once per 3 days, which is terrible.

Wizards should've definitely had a martial subclass. Something like school of fist where you outperform martials in melee and spellcasters from a distance. That way, you are actually very balanced.

Even the subclasses aren't balanced between themselves. Why choose divination, where you leave your class features to chance, when you can go evocation and guarantee to do alot of damage.

I mean, c'mon, WoTC keeps gimping some of the most popular classes. The worst of which are Wizards, Clerics, and Paladins.

Clerics really grind my gears. How am I supposed to be a healbot if I have damaging spells? I only have one action, people. And the healing is abysmal. 1d8+4? What am I a commoner? Who's that supposed to heal?

And then they had the audacity to make Wish, the most powerful spell in the game, only 1 casting a day. Luckily, me and my DM came up with a homebrew that let me cast Wish 5 times a day with no repercussions and I've been having alot of fun recently. And as long as I'm happy, the DM's happy.

My final bone to pick is school of enchantment. What if your DM throws you a monster that has a high Wisdom or immune to charm? Most of your subclass features are invalidated. I'd say giving them a class feature that does 1d8 psychic damage with an enchantment spell and a 14th level feature that bypasses immunity would be very fair. They should also be able to cast weird at-will and cast power word kill but without the HP restriction.

I can tell that this houserule is fair and balanced because it makes me strong.
Every spell the fist wizard casts should be fist.
 

Olrox17

Hero
Has anyone noticed how weak wizards are in D&D? It's ridiculous that Wizards of the Coast refuse to make their spellcasters good.

For one, their HitDice are so small, it's possible to die from two hits from a goblin at level 1! Or even one hit if they crit!

They don't incentivize constitution as much as intelligence and dexterity yet it's important for concentration and just living, so basically you need 3 ability scores in order to even be a decent spellcaster without getting turned into a pin cushion.

Their only defensive options are gatekept behind either a spell or a couple subclasses.

Speaking about class features, both the class and subclass features are so bad. Arcane recovery would be decent if the party ever took a short rest, otherwise it's non-existent. And you don't get another real class feature until level 18! What's up with that!?

The subclass features all kinda just fall flat from useful. First off, they all get this dumb copy spell discount as if copying a spell in combat is viable.

The evocation wizard, for instance, gets sculpt spell which sounds pretty nice but at this level you're only shooting out burning hands and thunderwaves. Not to mention that you can't even use them on magic missile! Unless you're constantly expending resources on evocation spells like a madman, which you only get 3 slots for the entire long rest, this feature is pretty bad for a long time. Fireball eventually comes up but only when campaigns are just about to end anyways.

Your spellslot acquisition sucks too. You're expected to be a professional at shooting spells yet after two or three rounds of looking cool, you're stuck playing second fiddle to the fighters, barbarians, and rogues. They get all their cool stuff at will. You can contribute meaningfully for 3-4 rounds before throwing subpar cantrips.

Did I mention that if you're a wizard and you're ever caught in melee, you're screwed? Because you are. You'd think you could just misty step away but as soon as you do, they'll just dash the 60ft to be back in melee and curbstomp you anyways. And since a wizard doesn't really have high AC even with their spells, they're getting creamed. Shield and mage armor is already 2 spell slots out of a probable 3-4 and the shield only lasts for a round. Plus, if they have multiattack or there's more than one, it's basically curtains for you.

It also doesn't fulfill the flavor of being born as a master of magic like in Harry Potter. Sure, he studies sometimes, but you can't just be a wizard because you study, you have to be born with it.

A wizard is supposed to get the most benefit from magic items, but the only ones worth getting don't improve your most important attack method (save DC) like a fighter and don't increase the damage like a fighter. In fact, even the +1 wands don't increase the damage of your spell attack damage. So they're basically useless unless you're stuck using the cantrips that aren't as good as a martial, at all.

A warlock has better damaging cantrips. How is that even fair? They get to add their ability mod to the damage and they have better distance and can push people? And they get to be a spellcaster with only a short rest resource. And the designers thought that was "balanced."

The wizard is even weak to other wizards! they can't counter a spell until level 5 and their counterspell can just be counterspelled and they eat a fireball anyways.

I can't tell you how many times the party had to watch me die as a group of goblins or orcs just swarmed at me and killed me before I even got to react. The DM just piles monsters on me and after 2-3 rounds, I'm either unconscious or completely dead. I can't escape, either. They surprise me or just plain shoot me until I die.

If anyone else feels like Wizards are weak and/or have any houserules to fix these problems to make the wizard playable, please list them below. I feel like wizards need to finally be playable like they were in 4e
Hahaha, what a noob. Everyone knows that a mlg pro wizard starts as a lvl 1 fighter for that sweet heavy armor and shield, which you then use in conjunction with the shield spell to become a mothertrucking tank!
Git gud, bro. LtP.
1589616931565.gif
 

Asisreo

Patron Badass
Hahaha, what a noob. Everyone knows that a mlg pro wizard starts as a lvl 1 fighter for that sweet heavy armor and shield, which you then use in conjunction with the shield spell to become a mothertrucking tank!
Git gud, bro. LtP.
View attachment 122050
It's a sad day when a player has to multiclass just for their wizard to have heavy armor proficiency. Why isn't it free smh?

It's bad because I dip into fighter at level 1 but I always forget to undip.
 


When they got the right spell against the right enemy in optimal position Wizard or any full casters are great.
But because of damage resistance, immunity, spell resistance, legendary resistance perfect situation are very rare.
To be efficient Wizard need prepared spells to be versatile and diversified. Which is opposed to the main archetype : school specialization.
a solution would be to give Wizard more prepared spell.
 

G

Guest 6801328

Guest
The Wizard's job is to make a boss burn all of its Legendary Resistance, and then use his low Portent die to make the boss fail against the Monk's Quivering Palm.

What, you didn't spec Divination? Find another group, noob.
 

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