word play game

[Warrior Poet]

Bell's Strength - increases the target's strength by 1d4+1 points, resulting in brassy, sonorous muscle tone.

Cate's Grace - target's dexterity is increased to that of Cate Blanchett.

Fox's Canning - intelligence boost with unfortunate side effect of pathological need to preserve vegetables in mason jars.

Illicid - horrific, alien monster of the underdark that carries on an affair with the spouse of one of the PCs. (Two letters, I know, I know, but the pun was too good to pass up)

Shacking Grasp - touch attack does 1d8 points of damage to a tool shed.

Leviatan - when storm giants sunbathe.

Behelder - used to be fearsome.

Master of Chins - this prestige class needs to run its ass around the block a few times.

Acolyte of the Spin - abyssal prestige class. Prerequisite: Knowledge (Public Relations) 8 ranks.

Rob of Useful Items - handy guy to have around.

Bag of Folding - bearers of this cursed magic item never win at poker.

Arrow of Steeping - brews perfect tea when shot at a kettle of boiling water.

Use Dope - who rolled this, man? (d20 Modern skill. Provides a synergy bonus with Craft {Pharmaceuticals}, if remembered)

Affect Normal Fares - minor evocation causes chaos on public transportation.

Circlet of Basting - in two power variations (mild barbecue and spicy garlic).

ESPN - divination taps the thoughts of a target to reveal the latest box scores.

Warrior Poet

 

[StupidSmurf]

Wand of Illuminati- Has secret powers. Don't ask.

Dreck of Many Things- This small wooden box holds several different varities of poo. Each one, when flung, causes different effects. Favored by monkey adventurers.

Bag of Trucks- Reaching into this small bag, you pull out a small metal vehicle. When thrown, it randomly expands and becomes one of the following trucks: Ice Cream, Fire, Tow, Mack.

Rod of Lardly Might- Allows the wielder to have command over all lard in a 60' radius.

Gulden Lions- This figurine of wondrous power creates a pair of lions made of mustard.

Porn of Valhalla- Hot Valkryie on Valkryie action!!!!!!

Ring of Hunan Influence- Command Chinese food at will!

Ring of Smell Turning- Wafts B.O. , bad breath, and farts back at he who dealt it.

+3 Depender- This long sword magically fits the wielder with a pair of adult diapers.

Ring of Degeneration- This ring magically compels you to seek out your cousin and mate.

Ring of Vampiric Degeneration (2nd ed)- Same as above, only from White Wolf.

Trident of Dish Command- Become the ruler of all crockery and dining ware!

Mirror of Dental Prowess- This mirror enables you to see your teeth very clearly, making it easier for you to brush well, and floss.

Doss Bute- This bardic instrument only plays German songs, and only if the bard is submerged underwater.

Harp of Charmin- Summons 1d4 rolls of toilet paper when played.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Can't stop the thread!

Crass Dragon - indelicate saurian.

Mirror of Wife Trapping - why you're always waiting for her to get ready to go out (I kid. I kid because I love)

Assault on the Aerie of the Slav Lords - 1st edition module set in the Carpathian Mountains.

Eye of Fear and Fame - skeletal undead with one eye that causes a fear effect, the other catapults a random PC to the top of the charts.

Eye of Fear and Lame - fear me! FEAR ME! Aw, forget it.

File Elemental - fundamental creature from the office.

Dearth Elemental - scarcity of any real substance.

Waver Elemental - closely related to a water elemental, but more concerned with properties of motion.

Hair Elemental - notorious for clogging drains, and diametrically opposed to Air Elementals (see Comb Controlling Hair Elementals in Magic Items)

Ring of Three Washes - powerful and jealously coveted magic item of personal hygiene.

Eversmoting Bottle - once opened, forever puts the smack down on the unrighteous.

Rye of Vecna - sandwich for a lich lord.

Dye of Vecna - tie-die.

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

Wand of Illuminati- Has secret powers. Don't ask.

Fnord!

Porn of Valhalla- Hot Valkryie on Valkryie action!!!!!!

Mirror of Dental Prowess- This mirror enables you to see your teeth very clearly, making it easier for you to brush well, and floss.

Doss Bute- This bardic instrument only plays German songs, and only if the bard is submerged underwater.

Very nice. And with an obscure Das Boot reference!

Warrior Poet

 

[StupidSmurf]

Pubic Gate- Trust me, you don't want to know.

Pup and Talisan of Al'Akbar- Al'Akbar's magical talisman, and his little dog too!!!

Cube of Front Resistance- Makes wielder immune to the hypnotc effects of tight t-shirts (esp for guys), and tight jeans (esp for the ladies).

Rye of Vecna- Evil sandwich bread.

Boobs of Speed- These fake breasts make you run fast.

 

[StupidSmurf]

Fnord!


Very nice. And with an obscure Das Boot reference!

Warrior Poet

Thanks! I like the Ring of Three Washes!

And of course, I end up duplicating your Rye of Vecna. That'll teach me to post while talking to someone at the same time!

 

[StupidSmurf]

And let's not forget the Monster Manual entries...


Spedu- A lawful good, winged celestial being that flies around doing good deeds while wearing a tight swimsuit.

Panticore- Bat-winged underwear that fires iron spikes.

Guardian Damon- Centerfielder for the Boston Red Sox who keeps an eye on stuff during the off-season.

Bahamutt- God of good dragons that resemble dogs. Falkor is his high priest.

Dragonians- Natives of Krynn, these are saurials who cause evil while dressed in women's clothing. They also hang around in bars.

Kinder- Extremely annoying, curious short people who fortunately are extremely flammable.

Pong Dragon- This rare dragon creates an electronic blip of light that bounces to and fro, mesmerizing all onlookers.

Bong Dragon- Duuuuuuude.....

Jellow Mold- Lime-green evil mold that poses a health hazard to all. Note: add +2 to CR if it has chunks of fruit in it.

Herpy- Ugly flying mouth sores.

 

[DamionW]

Bag of Trucks- Reaching into this small bag, you pull out a small metal vehicle. When thrown, it randomly expands and becomes one of the following trucks: Ice Cream, Fire, Tow, Mack.

I WANT ONE!!!

 

[Warrior Poet]

I WANT ONE!!!

Yeah, that one's way cool.

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

Three more quick ones:

Bansheep - incorporeal undead spirit of a woman who died suffering while wearing a particularly itchy wool sweater.

Catobleepas - paralytic gaze attack and lots of foul-language.

Carryon Crawler - attacks in overhead bins or under the seat in front of you.

Warrior Poet