Worst movies ever....

[Brown Jenkin]

Here's my nominee:

Hyperspace This is a movie I bought on DVD for $2. Thats right. not twenty, not ten, but TWO. And actually bought it, from the shelves of a real store (Fry's Electronics). Here's how to describe this movie: Take Soldier, only the movie is about the garbage scow, not the guy who falls out of it. Then add a bit of event horizon, for the waking up from hypersleep. Mix in some "Angry ex-marine," "horny old man who keeps a shotgun onboard an extremely thin-hulled ship," and "girl who freaks out a lot." Then make the ship break, and add in the tension of that other movie, "The Cube," where there is only room for one person on the exit ship. Then add in an alien crab, some cyborgs, and a murderer or four. Oh, and some backstory cyborgs that like decapiation. Oh, and it was filmed by college students... or looks like it.

You managed to awaked another repressed memmory. This reminds me somewhat of Space Truckers with Dennis Hopper. Somewhere somehow someone thought that this was worth spending money on.

 

[Caliber]

You managed to awaked another repressed memmory. This reminds me somewhat of Space Truckers with Dennis Hopper. Somewhere somehow someone thought that this was worth spending money on.

Hehe. I liked Space Truckers!

Now Gummo ...

If I ever want to see a young boy sitting in a bathroom stall in his boxer shorts while wearing bunny eaars and playing the accordian at least I know where to go.

If I ever want to see two kids who make their money by catching cats and killing them, then selling them as meat to the local chinese restaurant, I know where to go.

Gummo ... ::shudder::

Cabin Fever was horrible in so many ways. It was the type of horrible that made you want to laugh to simply escape the pain. I won't go into detail but I walked out threating to stab my friend who brought me there to see it. 'Nuff said.

 

[Piratecat]

This reminds me somewhat of Space Truckers with Dennis Hopper. Somewhere somehow someone thought that this was worth spending money on.

Dennis is technically family; he's married to my cousin. Go figure.

 

[Hypersmurf]

Dennis is technically family; he's married to my cousin. Go figure.

So... if we gave you a "This is for Waterworld and Super Mario Bros!" package, you could deliver it to him?

Just need to figure out how to get it past airport security...

Say... so Galen Grier Hopper is your second cousin? Did they name her after Peter MacNicol's character from Dragonslayer, or the Technomage in Crusade?

-Hyp.

 

[Krieg]

Four pages and no mention of the follwing?!?!
Ator: The Fighting Eagle

Can't stop the music -w/ The Village people no less

Gymkata - "Starring" (and I use that term loosely) Gymnist Kurt Thomas

Heartbeeps - Andy Kaufman & Bernadette Peters as escaped "domestic robots" on a quest to find their creator (think Bicentennial man on qualudes).

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band - w/the BeeGees in the title role!

The Apple - A musical about the seemy side of the Rock & Roll industry in a "future" 1994 (the film came out in '80).

The worst part? I actually was the (dis)pleasure of seeing all of these in the theater. *shudder*

Oops, I forgot an honorable mention for Popeye with Robin Williams and the worst Octopus special effects ever to make it on screen.

Wasn't there another post apocalyptic movie where his only friend was a dog? (or maybe that was Frogtown ...)

That would be A Boy and His Dog with Don Johnson.

Curious - offensive to whom? And why?

-Hyp.

My guess is either actual pirates or fans of the ride.

Hehe. I liked Space Truckers!

Now Gummo ...

If I ever want to see a young boy sitting in a bathroom stall in his boxer shorts while wearing bunny eaars and playing the accordian at least I know where to go.

If I ever want to see two kids who make their money by catching cats and killing them, then selling them as meat to the local chinese restaurant, I know where to go.

Gummo ... ::shudder::

Gummo was certainly garbage. It was one of the few films I couldn't finish.

For me it was personally offensive as Korinee chose to locate it in an actual Ohio town that was devestated by a Tornado (in '74). He then goes on to paint said town in as negative a light as possible, despite the fact that he has never actually visited there. Of course when pressed on the issue he responds that it is a "fictional" town.

Did I mention that I was born & raised in Xenia Ohio?

Strangely enough Steven King mentions Xenia at least two of his novels. The Stand & The Talisman.

 

[Brown Jenkin]

Dennis is technically family; he's married to my cousin. Go figure.

I have nothing against him as a person or actor. I just question his judgement sometimes in choosing to participate in certain movies.

 

[Hammerhead]

Ghosts of Mars
Dreamcatcher
The Hulk
Some Like It Hot

 

[Barendd Nobeard]

I thought of another one. I'm not sure if it is awful or I just don't comprehend it.

Eraserhead (1978) Directed by David Lynch [I know this explains part of it]. I was confused from begining to end. I'm sure David Lynch was trying to get something across but it was completely beyond me.

I don't think it's awful per se, but I don't think it is supposed to mean anything. It's just a bad dream put on film. Period. Try to analyze it, and you'll go crazy.

If you decide you hate it, blame Sissy Spacek. After Lynch's grant money ran out, she gave her salary from Carrie to Lynch so he could finish the film. Her husband (Jack Fisk) is in Eraserhead--he plays the man (with the oatmeal face) who sits by a window a pulls the lever. I am laughing as I type this, but I can not describe his part any other way. His credit (at least in the IMDB) is "Man in the Planet"

 

[Barendd Nobeard]

That would be A Boy and His Dog with Don Johnson.

The dog was "Tiger" from "The Brady Bunch". A planned sequel called "A Girl and Her Dog" was cancelled when the dog died.

(re: who would be offended by Pirates of the Carribean)
My guess is either actual pirates or fans of the ride.

OK, almost spewed soda on the monitor. Thanks, Kreig!

 

[TracerBullet42]

Gymkata - "Starring" (and I use that term loosely) Gymnist Kurt Thomas

Oh my...I had forgotten about this one...isn't this the one where he stumbles across a "pommel horse" in the middle of the woods and manages to fight bad guys on it? That's some quality film....