Worst movies ever....

[Dagger75]

Here is my list...

Phantoms- Ben Afflek, Vasaline monsters, ringing any bells. It sucked. I saw this for free for a sneak peek. I kid you not I had a reporter ask me what I thought, my quote "It was free and I paid to much." Never got quoted in the paper though

Freddy Got Fingered-- Free also, I was luckier than most; there was a person talking on his cell phone durning the movie and I listened to him.

Nutty Professor 2, The Klumps-- My brother wanted to see a movie and paid for this one. He apologized afterwards and bought me a drink at a bar afterwards.

And as for the Dungeons and Dragons movie, I didn't hate it. Hell I bought it on DVD. I want to believe he really wanted to do it justice but the studio wouldn't him. At least he killed Snails. Give him that.

 

[Krieg]

The dog was "Tiger" from "The Brady Bunch". A planned sequel called "A Girl and Her Dog" was cancelled when the dog died.

Now that would have been an odd sequel. Wonder what Harlan Ellison thought of that! lol

(Kinda cool that Tiger made it onto the big screen, better him than Cousin Oliver!)

Oh my...I had forgotten about this one...isn't this the one where he stumbles across a "pommel horse" in the middle of the woods and manages to fight bad guys on it? That's some quality film....

Doesn't every eastern european village have a medieval pommel-horse sitting in the town square?!

 

[Steve Jung]

How's about King Solomon's Mines? The one with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone. The movie felt like a rip-off of Indiana Jones. I remember a scene that looked like a direct rip-off, but I can't recall what it was.

 

[Krieg]

How's about King Solomon's Mines? The one with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone. The movie felt like a rip-off of Indiana Jones. I remember a scene that looked like a direct rip-off, but I can't recall what it was.

Hey don't forget Firewalker w/Chuck Norris & Louis Gossett Jr!

 

[CCamfield]

I try to make it a point not to go see movies I know will be bad. Highlander sequels? Nope. The Mummy Returns? Nope. And so on.

However one "memorable" New Year's Eve I was over at a friend's house watching some movies. And they all turned out to be stinkers. The ones I can remember were Jurassic Park 3 ("Hey look! Token black guy bought it!") and a Dolph Lundgren movie called Army of One. Gaaaah.

Ok, now that I think about him, I recall seeing far too many Muscles from Brussels films for my own mental health. They pretty much all sucked.

Another film that comes to mind was just a bad comedy that ... was just not funny, called And God Spoke.

 

[WayneLigon]

Doesn't every eastern european village have a medieval pommel-horse sitting in the town square?!

I've seen that film. I can just see executives and a scriptwriter barricaded in a board room. "OK, somehow in this film he has to use the Thomas Flair at some point. Bernie, your job is to write that in there!" "But...but..."

 

[s/LaSH]

Let's see...

Mortal Kombat: Anihilation - I was first able to see this when it screened at 2am one Saturday morning on TV. It's so utterly nonsensical. I still make jokes about Liu Kang's hair. "Space! Infinite empty vastness, the dust of millenia undisturbed by atmospheric motion. Life cannot survive in this barren place, nor would it want to be subjected to such eternal stasis. And Liu's hair spontaneously goes 'wooshbounce' like on a shampoo commercial."

Howard the Duck - I saw this on TV a while back. Well, when I say "I saw" I mean it was on, and I can remember bits of it, but I must have left the room; and when I say "a while back" I mean the most interesting part of the movie was when I came back in and a news update came up on the bottom of the screen announcing Princess Diana's sudden death. Then the movie ended.

Scream - ironic postmodern comment or whatever, I hated it. Only movie I've ever walked out of. It says something about the state of psychology in filmmaking when there's an entire genre dedicated to teen slashing, and what it says isn't good. (On the plus side, it's certainly given me a unique piece of demonology...)

This Island Earth - more famous (presumably) as the basis for a MST3K. If it hadn't had the wisecracks it'd have been utterly pointless. And nonsensical. As it is, it's an enduring classic for the ages. Doubly so, because of an unfortunate incident with a faulty VCR and episodes of Digimon. You had to be there, but it was awesome. I should burn it to DVD or something...

Any number of Dolph Lundgren or Jean Claude Van Damme movies, where you look at characters or scenery and wonder how long until they get broken, because that's all they're there for.

Roger Moore's Bond movies. Some were merely passable, some were completely absurd. I hope to never see Bond jump a bridge in a fire engine again. That was stupid. Cool, but still stupid, was Moonraker, where astronauts all have laser guns because it's in space. Not implausible for Bond, but why didn't anyone on the ground have laser guns? It makes no sense.

The D&D movie wasn't too bad, but it would have been a million times better if the dragons had been D&D dragons. Y'know, talking instead of roaring mindlessly. And let's not get into the beholder thing.

Now, on the list of movies that some people hated but I liked, I have to mention Final Fantasy. That was a great movie, but apparently people didn't have the right mindset to 'get' it. Spawn was an OK movie too; but I like the TV series much better (they made a major character white in the movie, don't know why; at least The Matrix universe has a realistic cross-section of humanity).

 

[Dark Jezter]

The D&D movie wasn't too bad, but it would have been a million times better if the dragons had been D&D dragons. Y'know, talking instead of roaring mindlessly. And let's not get into the beholder thing.

I'll have you know that in my campaign, beholders always serve as watchdogs. And yes, they can be distracted by a thrown rock.

 

[Abraxas]

Lets see - worst movies (IMO) in alphabetical order, because depending on the day these change position in my worst movie list.

Ones I haven't seen here already . . .
Alien Ressurection
Cape Fear (remake) - I actually walked out of the theatre during this one.
Congo - the monkey suits were so bad as was the "this set of paw motions forms an infinite vocabulary" schtick.
Deep Blue Sea - It would take a long time to list everything that was bad about this movie.
What about Bob

Ones already listed that I agree with . . .
Natural Born Killers - A friend of mine ranks this as the top 3 of the 5 worst movies ever - I have to agree.
Nothing but Trouble
Titanic

 

[Hypersmurf]

... and a Dolph Lundgren movie called Army of One. Gaaaah.

Ok, now that I think about him, I recall seeing far too many Muscles from Brussels films for my own mental health. They pretty much all sucked.

The Muscles from Brussels is van Damme, by the way - Lundgren's Swedish, not Belgian

But what about Masters of the Universe? I mean, sure, it had nothing much to do with the cartoon (I love the story about the origins of the Masters of the Universe concept, by the way), but it was still fun

And I enjoyed Dark Angel (the film with Lundgren, not the series with Jessica Alba).

Alien Ressurection

You know, I actually enjoyed that film up until the last fifteen minutes or so... the point where Ripley fell through the floor. After that, it sucked. Badly enough to ruin the first hour and a half.

Deep Blue Sea - It would take a long time to list everything that was bad about this movie.

But it had Saffwon Buwwowes! [giggle]

-Hyp.