You're Joking!

[Algolei]

Curse you WayneLigon! Curse you!

Mmmmom! JimAde's cursing!

 

[demiurge1138]

I thought I was the only one who knew this joke. I was about to post it.

But I heard it as two brothers: Sam and Joe Fram. Hence Sam Fram's Disco.

Now I don't have a joke to post. Curse you WayneLigon! Curse you!

I always knew it as Sam Clam. As in, it was about anthropomorphic clams. Huh.

Demiurge out.

 

[Mouseferatu]

A neutron walks into a pub, saunters over to the bar, and calls out, "Hey, barkeep! I'll have a beer!"

The bartender slides a frosty mug down the bar. The neutron grabs it up, chugs it down, sends the mug whistling back, and says, "That was great! How much do I owe?"

The bartender replies, "For you, Mr. Neutron? No charge."

 

[Captain Tagon]

A duck walks into a feed store. Goes up to a clerk and says "Got any duck feed?"

The clerk says "No," so the duck leaves.

The next day, the same duck goes into the same feed store and goes up to the same clerk. "Got any duck feed?"

The clerk is a bit irate. "We don't have any duck feed, we've never had any duck feed, and we never will have any duck feed." The duck shrugs and leaves.

Next day, same duck, same feed store, same clerk. "Got any duck feed?"

The clerk says, "For the last time, we don't have duck feed. If you come in here and ask for duck feed again I'm going to nail your feet to the floor." The duck leaves.

A week goes by.

The same duck goes into the same feed store and up to the same clerk. "Got any nails?"

The clerk is puzzled. "Um, no...?"

The duck looks around, "In that case, got any duck feed?"

 

[Yig]

What has 9 arms and sucks?




Def Leppard.

 

[LogicsFate]

What has 9 arms and sucks?




Def Leppard.

I thought they only had seven arms, o well.



Two drums and a symbol set fall off a cliff

[sblock][sblock][sblock] DaDum-Chiii[/sblock] [/sblock] [/sblock]


Two atoms are walking down the street,
"O no, I think I just lost an electron"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm positive"
(I apologize if I screwed that up, I long since forgot highschool science)


Two muffins are in an oven one says "Is it hot in here?"
and the other replies
[sblock] AH! A TALKING MUFFIN![/sblock]

Never forget where your towel is!

 

[Cathix]

A bear walks into the bar. The bartender walks over to take his order, and the bear says, "I'd like a sandwich................................................and a beer."

The bartender looks at him and says, "Sure buddy, not a problem. But - what's with the big pause?"






[Dat's a tough one when you type it... ]

 

[Simplicity]

Let's just get them out of the way...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What the heck? Is that a steering wheel stuck on your crotch?" The pirate says, "Yaaaaar, it's driving me nuts."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here."

A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here." The string goes outside and pulls him self apart a little bit, and then ties himself up. He comes back into the bar, and the bartender says, "Heeeeey... Aren't you that string that was just in here?" The string smiles and says, "Frayed knot."

An englishman, a frenchman, and a german walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Two statues stand on pedestals in the park, a man and a woman. Their arms are outstretched, fingers almost touching, and the sculpter has touched their faces with an indescribable yearning. One day a passing angel, his heart touched by their years of longing, touches them lightly with his wings and they come to life. "I am giving you one hour of life," he says "so that you may finally do as you have always desired."

barely able to speak in their excitement, the two statues clasp hands and run off into the bushes together. Grunts and the occasional squeal of joy emerge, along with much rustling and shaking of leaves. Later, the two statues emerge, disheveled and sweaty but estatic. As they start to take their places again, the angel says, "Wait, you still have half an hour left."

Grinning, the male statue jumps back down and says, "Great! Lets do it again!"

The female statue says, "Well..... OK....."

".... But this time you hold down the pigeon, and I'll get even!"

 

[Xath]

A man is walking around with a gecko on his shoulder.

A woman walks up and says, "Oh, that's a nice gecko. What do you call him?"

He says "I call him Tiny."

She says "Why do you call him Tiny?"

He says "Because he's my newt."