A FOLLOW-UP – SOLUTIONS:
Since someone made a reasonable suggestion above that it would be helpful to suggest solutions to the sexism which I see as existing in D&D, I figured I should try to post something to that end. I thought about it for a bit and figured I would divide it into two parts. The first would be for people who don’t want to deal with issues of sexism at all and (presumably) just make the game world not an inherently sexist one, so they can get on with, well, the game. The second would be for people who do explicitly want to engage with the issue of sexism but do so without actually being sexist themselves. So, having established the two categories I’m using, here are a few of my suggestions.
When you don’t want to deal with sexism at all:
1 – Make the primary game societies non-sexist: This is a pretty simple thing to do. When you have societies which your PCs will inhabit and deal with on a regular basis, simply don’t make them sexist. Have men and women equally valued and influential in society, so that nobody thinks twice about the fact that a country is ruled by a king or a queen, or bats an eyelid when the ruler’s consort is male or the general of the army is female. Have pantheons which aren’t skewed towards any one gender. And so on.
2 – Have similar gender representation in NPCs: When your PCs see and interact with NPCs, try to have roughly equal numbers of men and women present. Don’t have all the movers and shakers be male (or female, for that matter). If it’s perfectly fine for some PCs to be female, then don’t have the female NPCs in the society be under the thumb of the patriarchy, since that immediately makes the PC’s gender very important and her position very different. When the PCs have allies and enemies, let them sometimes be male and sometimes female, with neither seeming special and different from the norm.
3 – Don’t treat female PCs (and players) differently than male PCs (and players): I don’t think this needs much explanation, does it?
4 – When using standard fantasy tropes, vary the genders: There are tons of standard plots and tropes from fantasy, literature and myth which tend to show up in D&D games. When using them, just don’t use the same gender positions every time. Maybe the PCs have to rescue a captured princess. And maybe they have to rescue a captured prince. Both of them work.
When you do want to engage with and think about sexism and gender roles:
1 – Think about how gender could be different in a D&D society: Give some serious thought to how the existence of non-real-world elements would affect and change the societies of your game. How does the fact that the most accomplished of men and women are exactly as strong, durable, dexterous, smart, wise and charismatic as each other change society? How does the existence of magic affect society? How does the existence of multiple intelligent species in the same world change society? How does the fact that some species live longer than others, that some are shorter, that some don’t sleep, that some can fly, etc. affect their societies? How does the fact that some of these species can interbreed affect society? There is no one answer. But there are a lot of plausible answers which are creative, interesting and far more so, in my estimation, than just assuming that such a world will be like medieval Europe. And once you consider such answers and ramifications, consider how gender might be treated in such a society or societies. For example, if running an Eberron game, I would consider what people might think of gender in a world where a species (changelings, doppelgangers) can change their gender at will or have no gender at all (warforged). And how that is mediated by the fact that D&D magic allows people to change their gender in appearance (using spells like Change Self, Disguise Self) and/or physically (polymorph).
2 – Have variety in your gender roles and sexism: Come up with different gender roles and, if you plan to have sexism, forms of sexism among different societies. Maybe the dwarves are a species where women are few and far between, which means they are essentially forced to remain at home and have offspring, and where an adventuring female PC dwarf would be ostracized by her clan. Maybe elves have a matriarchal structure where women are always the leaders, whether in politics or in war, since they believe that women are inherently more rational and better at short-term tactics as well as long-term strategy. Maybe gnomes naturally have no gender at all, with every gnome capable of giving birth, which it does in an asexual manner by growing a little bud on the back of its head which is removed and planted in the breeding garden so as to bloom into a new little gnome. And maybe societies where various species’ interact with each other have a hodge-podge of competing and contrasting gender roles all flowing through, around and into each other. In short, have some creativity and variety and don’t treat real world gender roles and sexism as the norm.
3 – Explore the ramifications of gender roles in your different game-world societies: Following on the point made in the previous paragraph, explore – and let PCs interact with and perhaps affect – the results of gender roles (and, if necessary, sexism) in the various societies which make up the world. Maybe the result of the dwarven society is extreme objectification of women, where they are treated less like individuals and more like valuable objects to be hoarded or traded away. Maybe the result of the elven society is the creation of males who are utterly faithful and will follow any order from a woman, but who also lack initiative and identity. Maybe the result of the gnome biology is that they play male and female roles when interacting with humans, partly to fit in and partly to manipulate humans based on the latters’ preconceptions. Have matriarchies. Have patriarchies. Have societies where gender doesn’t matter. And again, don’t treat one as inherently better or more natural or logical than the others.
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I threw the above together in just 15 minutes of thinking about the subject, so pardon me if they’re not the best thought-out or creative solutions. But I hope they’re at least a decent starting point for thinking about the subject and how it can be dealt with in interesting ways.
Thoughts and feedback?
A caveat: I should note that the above is purely focusing on sexism and gender roles because that’s the premise of this thread. The same can be done with just about any other –ism, of course.