That's just it.
I think a lot of experienced D&Ders dismissed 4E for what it was, but remember that many of us gave it a good go first. I ran a short campaign, then played in another, and I know from that experience that 4E simply cannot provide the type of game I enjoy.
The reasons for that are numerous, but mostly come down to the default superhero level of the PCs, the unprecedented focus on combat, and the rigid nature of the system which, it's true, makes arguments at the game table less common, but kyboshes flexibility and mystery in big way. My mileage varies!
So, when Hasbro markets 4E as a fine-tuned version of previous editions, my BS-detector goes off the dial, because it's demonstrably not a member of the same family. To compound that, players who absolutely dig 4E are fond of proclaiming that it's simply a better game than its predecessors - without realising that it seems that way to them because it's actually a different game altogether.
If you want to make people angry, there's no better way than telling them, "my X is a better version of your Y, and I dismiss any argument to the contrary".
Like you I gave 4E a good go. But it really grates on you after a while.
In 3E they took the time to make monsters very unique and make races feel like races. Then 4E throws most of that out and turns everything into modular hit point sponges with some special powers.
When my fighter was using powers like Come and Get it against oozes and zombies, it felt like fingers across a chalkboard as I tried to reconcile why the mindless oozes and zombies were responding to insults. Just like trying to reconcile while some powers allowed a character to run over at something 30 feet away, hit it, and run back to their exact start point in a round. All very annoying for internal consistency and game immersion. There were times when the players were using powers and I was grumbling under my breath, "This is so incredibly stupid. I can't believe they have this in the game."
Then the round to round power tracking made combat even more unwieldy than 3E. I couldn't believe they thought this was a simpler combat system. I'd bet money the majority of DMs lose track of round to round modifers and saves in large combats a great deal of the time.
Those that consider 4E a better game astound me. It's a simpler game. It has some good ideas incorporated into it. But overall it's a lesser game than 3E which was the most advanced version of D&D to date in terms of rules and world building.
We saw incredible stories and rule sets built on the 3E framework. Like I said before, let's see if 4E inspires the same level of creativity from the overall game community if it is a better game. As I already stated, I wish there were odds in Vegas as what edition of D&D inspired the most creativity.
Just as small example, you had 5 level Prcs, 7 lvl Prcs, 13 lvl Prcs, along with the standard 10 lvl Prcs in 3E because the Prc and class model was so flexible. Can you do that in 4E or will that be too disruptive to the balance model for Paragon and Epic paths? And don't even think about multiclassing. Not going to happen.
4E is a worse game from a creative and rules standpoint. The 4E system is less flexible from a rules standpoint. It gives less rules help for dealing with a situations a player might want to undertake like wrestling and extended strategy that may involve a spell that lasts more than a round or two. It is a better game when it comes to adventure preparation and character building in terms of time spent.
It had some good ideas with skill challenges. But you can easily work those into a 3E framework and with a more developed skill system it will work just as well if not better. Moving away from a skill point system in 4E was devolution no matter how much you love 4E.
Just like you can work the improved trap system into a 3E system.
I was really hoping they would have advanced the game rather than devolved it. But I guess their marketing tests indicated the majority of gamers wanted a simpler version of D&D. I just happened to fall into that category of D&D player that wanted the game to continue to advance the rule system increasing complexity thus allowing for more archetypes to be worked and the combat system to approach realism to an even great degree. Even 3E didn't have rules for a decent ninja and 4E certainly hasn't improved on that.
Pathfinder is getting closer to a decent martial arts system. Their CMD vs. CMB mechanic simplifies the exchanges while still incorporating some complexity.
I better stop now. I just can't believe the majority of gamers on EN World really enjoy the simplicity of 4E and didn't yearn for a more advanced version of D&D than even 3E. I can see why they liked the killing of some sacred cows like the magic item Christmas tree, boring and limited melee, and the prep time. But giving up a better skill system, the flexibility of the combat rules in 3E, the unique monster races and types, as well as a combat feat system that came the closest to giving your character a unique fighting style that wasn't limited by encounter or daily powers, but rather felt like you learned a martial fighting style.
So much to give up, and so little to gain that could not have been built into the previous 3E ruleset.
And 4E wins the prize for most weakest and most limited arcane casters ever designed. Not even GURPS and Shadow Run made their arcane casters as weak as 4E arcane casters. And 45%/55% saving throws where the casters level of power are irrelevant was a bad idea. Talk about feeling weak and impotent as a flip of the coin in favor of the target decides your fate no matter how strong you are.
Just a backwards step for the game. But then that was the stated goal. To return more to classic basic D&D when gamers were first became interested in D&D. Maybe if 4E brings in more gamers, they can start the cycle towards increased complexity with a stronger, future customer base. I don't know. Maybe it will happen.