Where is my Freaking Mule?!

[Zaran]

Ok, we've had two Player's Handbooks, two adventurer's vaults, and two monster manuals.

None of these books have stats and/or cost of a mule! You might say, "Zaran, don't you dare start an edition war! We all know how you rifle through each 4e book looking for a beast of burden for which to carry your stuff for a couple levels until you get that Bag of AC-Controlled storage!" That's not my intention.

This is my request for a book of Stuff You Can't Kill an Orc With.

Yes that's right. I want a book of useless stuff that I can spend my easily looted gold on. Stuff that doesn't have anything to do with combat and is just a way to use the gold my character gets without spending it on an overpriced magical Boots of Flying until the End of my Next Turn.

I want to buy things like the mythical mule that can carry your stuff to the dungeon. Or a fancy outfit to see the King Splug. Or how about rules on how to construct strongholds so that I stick my clothes and mule inside?

Sure, the GM can make this stuff up or maybe go to past editions for a quick price but I want to spend my money on a brand new book . Is that so wrong?

 

[Ed_Laprade]

Appearently so. I haven't bought many 4E books (just the original 3 and PHB2), but I might buy that.

 

[Bullgrit]

I think Rel was in charge of the mule. And, well, he was . . . irresponsible. So therefore, no more mules.

Bullgrit

 

[Celebrim]

Mules are unheroic.

As are torches, rope, iron spikes, sacks, chalk, 10' poles, flint & tender, iron rations, more rope, mirrors, sprigs of wolfsbane, and garlic. Since you don't need any of these things cluttering up your character sheet, you don't need a mule carrying them, much less porters, torcher bearers, drovers or teamsters for carrying the stuff in and out of the howling wilderness. Nobody ever used that stuff anyway because they all used heroic type IV bags of holding (available for heros to purchase at local general goods stores), and if they did use mules and such anyway, it's all badwrongfun.

I resist your attempts to rain on my 4e loving parade. Get back to the 70's and 80's were wierdo's like you belong.

 

[UniversalMonster]

Mule
Large natural beast
Level 1 Brute XP 0

Initiative +1 Senses Perception +5; low-light vision
HP 32; Bloodied 16
AC 14; Fortitude 15, Reflex 13, Will 10
Speed 7

Kick (standard, at-will) Weapon

+5 vs AC; 1d6+4 damage. A mule can't attack while harnessed to a carriage.

Alignment Unaligned Languages -
Str 19 (+4) Dex 13 (+1) Wis 11 (0)
Con 16 (+3) Int 2 (-4) Cha 9 (-1)

Special: A Mule can carry 168 lbs of gear (or more) if properly loaded*



* Where did I get 168 pounds of gear? I got it from a quote about Pakistan's army mules in this article. 72 kg is fairly close to 168 lbs.

 

[Vyvyan Basterd]

torches - PHB
rope - PHB
iron spikes - PHB (pitons in the climber's kit)
flint & tender - PHB (flint & steel)
iron rations - PHB (trail rations)

As for the original question, refluff the riding horse.

 

[korjik]

As for the original question, refluff the riding horse.

You rolled a 1 in the archery contest.

 

[Ourph]

Ok, we've had two Player's Handbooks, two adventurer's vaults, and two monster manuals.

None of these books have stats and/or cost of a mule!

Is there some reason you can't just use the stats and cost for a Riding Horse (in the PHB)? The main differences between a mule and a riding horse are 1) Mules are slightly shorter than horses, but weight for weight about as strong; 2) Mules aren't as fast as horses; 3) Mules will stop working before they die of exhaustion.

The cost of a good mule and a good horse is about the same. The carrying capacity is about the same weight for weight. The only thing in the horse stat-block you might need to tweak is the movement, but that's only if you are being really, really particular about your simulationism.

 

[Crothian]

I can understand that we need some mundane items stated out, but is a mule really one of them? There are items that mechanically I do think we need to go to a professional writer, but not a mule. I'm just not currently in the market for the Quintessential Mule.

 

[ExploderWizard]

As for the original question, refluff the riding horse.

Oh hell no! No horse fluffing for me. YOU refluff that horse!