Can Warforged get laid?

[ourchair]

In all seriousness:

[sblock]It seems there are four aspects to this question, and most of the answer is at the discretion of the DM's opinion concerning Warforged nature, personality, purpose, and design:

1. Can a Warforged love?
2. Can a Warforged lust?
3. Can a Warforged stimulate others sexually?
4. Can a Warforged receive sexual stimulation?

Questions 1 and 2 are related to Warforged emotional capability and range. I imagine this would depend on the "programming", so to speak, of the Warforged. It's clear from generic D&D material that Warforged have more fully developed personalities than their creators originally intended.

Concerning Question 1, it seems love is quite the possibility, if a DM allows such a peculiar bond to form between a living organism and a machine. And if they can love, they can certainly see the appeal of strengthening that bond via the Question 3.

Lusting is a different matter, since its impetus is largely tied to Question 4.

Question 3's answer is easily yes, though the extent to which this can occur would vary largely depending on what sort of physical design they have, including different components and their shape, size, material, and function (e.g., vibrating or warming).

Which brings us to question 4. Given standard D&D assumptions about them being created for war, it's safe to assume they weren't created with any sort of genitalia. However, as with any anthropomorphic creations we have, they certainly could be given them, at the time of creation or at some point afterward. Whether said genitalia also have any sort of pleasure receptors would also be a different consideration. But if they do, it's safe to assume a Warforged with such components would have an incentive for using them, hence the relation to the lust question above.

Notice that I didn't mention procreation. Remember that infertile people can fall in love and have sex, so that shouldn't be an issue in and of itself. Love and sex don't have to be tied to procreation, they just typically are since that's the sort of creatures we are. At least, that's my 2cp.[/sblock]

In short, it's up to the DM, but I imagine WOTC's official answer would be no.

I'm glad you took the question seriously, and your answer seems more in line with what I had intended.

See I don't intend to write whore-forged or anything like that, but I have a PC who has declared that he has been sending via House Sivis, information about the natural world outside of Sharn. The player declared that the his pen pal would be a lab assistant named Zo.

He left it open for me to determine what gender or race Zo is, but said that his PC is excited to meet him/her -- they just arrived in Sharn -- "both in the formal sense of discussing how to create a bio-sanctuary, as well as the personal satisfaction of "geeking out" with someone who shares his enthusiasm."

If he gets laid in the process, that would just sweeten the deal. He says his character -- an eco-sensitive shifter -- claims he has "love for ALL living creatures" and is not kidding about that and in no uncertain terms, said he swings both ways.

I was thinking that Zo could be a Warforged as a) it's a Warforgey name, b) lab assistant makes an interesting but not out of line role for a Warforged and c) I could write the character as interested in the natural world and all its implications in a detached 'objective' sense.

 

[surfarcher]

Mechanophilia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ?
Technosexual - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ?

 

[MichaelSomething]

I bet there's an app for that.

 

[airwalkrr]

To me, Zo sounds like the name of a gnome. A warforged lab assistant would probably have a name like... well... Lab Assistant. Most warforged choose names based on their function. Hence, a guard might be called Watcher or an underwater salvager might be called Diver. It's within the realm of possibility for a warforged to have a name common to one of the other races, but that would probably be because the warforged wanted to be more life-like and took a name he/she heard and liked. But warforged are noted as being incredibly unimaginative about names. Most don't even understand the purpose of them. They have a unique symbol burned into their heads. What else does one really need?

On the issue of sex, some warforged seek to fit in with society, so I can imagine a warforged wanting to engage in a romantic relationship but the way I see it, this would be pure mimicry. Warforged don't have the equipment for sex in the traditional manner. And since they don't really feel pain, I doubt they can feel pleasure. Still, I'm certain they could give pleasure to someone else if that person was so inclined to receive it. I could even see warforged prostitutes getting special prosthetics for the job. I don't even want to think about the kinds of names such a warforged might choose though.

Although the Data song was amusing, warforged are not Data, nor are they robots. They are intelligent magical constructs. Some seek to fit in, but they are not trying to become more "human," like Data. They only do it because they figure that's what they are supposed to do. Warforged define everything in their lives in terms of war. Their leaders and bosses are commanders. Their friends are comrades in arms. They are comfortable defining things like ally and foe, but wrestle with more complex relationships. I doubt very much that a warforged is even capable of understanding love, let alone sex.

You are free to do whatever you want in your campaign though. Warforged don't have to work like the way they are described in the books. They can be just like Data if you want them to be. They could even be "fully functional." Just recognize that doing so would be a deviation from the warforged as they have been portrayed. I have all the Eberron books and don't recall a single instance of a warforged falling in love.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I can't post them here, but you should check out the complete lyrics to Frank Zappa's "Stick it out" from the album Joe's Garage. It is (in lawyer-speak) on point.

Here's a sample:

See the chrome
Feel the chrome
Touch the chrome
Heal the chrome
See the screaming
Hot black steaming
Iridescent naugahyde
Python screaming
Steam roller!

 

[The_Fan]

It's an absolute serious question.

I want to introduce a Warforged as a romantic option for one of my characters. He wants to have an academic colleague who receives his reports on observations on biology in the outside world, and I want to make her into a romantic interest. I just want to see if bedroom options are possible.

And no, I do not intend to roleplay them out. At all.

I'm going to treat this with seriousness, far more than it deserves. I'd almost say this is a fault with modern society that we believe romance = sex. Benjamin Franklin was a master of the chaste romance, chatting up the French ladies and being every bit the romantic without (by all accounts) ever setting foot inside any woman's bedroom but his wife's.

There's a lot of roleplaying potential in a Warforged who pursues the romantic ideal and can sweep a woman off her feet with his incredible charm, but has absolutely no clue how things are supposed to work from there. Once in the bedroom, he thinks this is where it's supposed to fade to black and skip to the next chapter so he goes into "rest mode."

Alternately, without going into too much detail, he may be EXTREMELY good at pleasing a woman, and really get nothing in return. Women like it when you focus on them and what they like instead of what pleases you, and a warforged who knows what to do but gets no stimulation himself could actually be better than a human lover.

 

[ourchair]

I'm going to treat this with seriousness, far more than it deserves. I'd almost say this is a fault with modern society that we believe romance = sex. Benjamin Franklin was a master of the chaste romance, chatting up the French ladies and being every bit the romantic without (by all accounts) ever setting foot inside any woman's bedroom but his wife's.

Clever man.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to equate 'romantic option' with 'fantasy hanky panky.' However, my player said in no uncertain terms that his character does pursue getting laid on a regular basis (at least insofar as an adventurer can stay in one place long enough to do so) and it's not something that bothers me, nor do I believe it's a creepy case of "oh god we're going to use roleplaying bowow-chicka-wowow as a substitute for real bowow-chicka-wowow"

I'm basically playing off the fact that this guy has poly-amorous bi-curious pansexual tendencies, isn't shy about it and will indulge him in it, even if it is going to be nothing more than 'fade to black.'

There's a lot of roleplaying potential in a Warforged who pursues the romantic ideal and can sweep a woman off her feet with his incredible charm, but has absolutely no clue how things are supposed to work from there. Once in the bedroom, he thinks this is where it's supposed to fade to black and skip to the next chapter so he goes into "rest mode."

Now see, that's something I want to develop with a character of my own.

Alternately, without going into too much detail, he may be EXTREMELY good at pleasing a woman, and really get nothing in return. Women like it when you focus on them and what they like instead of what pleases you, and a warforged who knows what to do but gets no stimulation himself could actually be better than a human lover.

There's actually a lot of Trek-sian drama to be wrung out of that. Some people would say that that's wrong that a warforged would provide amoro-sexual pleasure but get nothing in return, and to that I say, what if it doesn't care? What if it doesn't matter?

 

[Nymrohd]

You are forgetting the first rule of porn. "If it exists, there is porn with it." So ofc they can get laid.

 

[Stalker0]

Poor Eric's grandmother

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

To quote Mills Lane:
"Let's get it on!"

Or Michael Buffer:
"Let's get READYYYY to RUUUMMMMMBLLLEEEE!"