Thanks, everyone, for your help! The rules for 4e seem pretty straight forward at first, but once you really get into them, they get complicated...it's a lot to wrap my head around!
I think everyone's suggestion to talk with my DM is the way to go. Here's the deal: when we started this campaign, he created characters for us, with backstories and all powers and such. He also gave us each a "destiny path," a place where our character could end up. The idea is that we'd go through a few sessions, and along the way each of us would come across our destiny and complete it for XP; then we have a choice: either follow through on the destiny and leave the party (so we can create a new character), or stay with the party and use the current character. One of us has already met their destiny, and chose to create a new character, which intigrated into the party just fine.
I plan to stay with this fighter, as it's just a cool concept and i can see a lot of development for her. Because the Dm has built a chance to change characters into the game, maybe he'd let me 'tweak' mine once I reach my destiny, rather than build a new one. And he seems happy that I've run with it this far, so I'm sure it won't be a problem.
In the meantime, I was paging through the rules compendium and found something that might make this all simpler until I get a chance to get all these feats/powers/what have you. But I'd appreciate input again, I might have this idea wrong:
The RC says that as a minor action I can sheathe/draw a weapon, which is fine. If i cash in a move action, I could sheathe the spear (minor), grab (standard), blood drain (action point), then get the spear again (minor) all in one go. Right? I'm not making an attack with this round (except for the 1d4 damage for blood drain), but I wouldn't be doing so with second wind either, and blood drain acts very much like that.
Or, here's the part I found interesting: I can drop an item as a free action. Does this count with weapons? If so, I could drop my spear entierly, make the grab/action point/blood drain, pick up the spear again (minor) and still have a move left over. I still wouldn't be making an attack really, but this would be a bit more versitile. I also like the way this could be described: I've been attacking this enemy all encounter; suddenly I drop the spear and lunge at it with my nails, stabbing him, then draw back licking the blood off my fingers (I decided I don't bite...yet...because I'm not a full vampire, just showing vampiric traits). All a bit shocking, and it gives my character an even more creepy vibe.
This is something I could do as soon as i level up, without taking any specific retraining or other feats; just blood drain. I could then 'work up to' improving how I use the power, which can be explained in character as coming to terms with my vampiric nature and learning to exploit rather than fear it. In the meanwhile, I still have a manageble (if clunky) way of using it.
Or is this off base?