I've disputed the premise that DoaM is an incoherent concept within the mechanics of D&D (specifically with respect to the target number of AC which is a - well understood - conflation of dodge and force of impact dispersal/mitigation) many times in other threads.
Beyond that, I utterly dispute that the concept of DoaM is an incoherent concept in physical martial exchanges in real life. A Running Back performing a blitz pickup of an Outside Linebacker coming on a rush is entering into a physical martial exchange akin to a melee skirmish. The Running Back is attempting to successfully interpose himself between the blitzer and the QB, attacking the blitzer with proper technique (deliver the blow, hands inside the shoulders and under the numbers, anchoring his position by lowering his pad level and dropping his hips for leverage). The Running Back here whiffs at his primary block attempt. His technique is poor and he is flat out beat to the edge. What does he do? What plenty of guys do when they're beat in the frenzy of a melee skirmish. He instinctively flails wildly. His flailing causes the defender to take evasive action to avoid the (illegal) legwhip. He hits the deck hard and is prone.
Damage (and an afflicted condition - prone) on a (proverbial) "Miss". The frenzy of martial exchanges are rife with these sorts of examples. Guys getting injured (tearing an ACL, spraining an ankle, or simply winding themselves in the sprawl to avoid) by taking evasive action when dealing with a flailing, off-balance opponent who fails in their offensive flurry. The number of times I've seen, or been involved with, incidental, collateral damage having a huge (if not decisive) effect on a martial exchange is huge; from football, to basketball, to actual physical combat. It doesn't even have to be actual injury from trying to evade a flail. It could be just the exhaustive wear and tear of sprawling to avoid a takedown attempt or a tackle or trying to split defenders when you're going to the rim in basketball. Avoiding contact (especially takedowns) is extremely fatiguing. Fatigue makes your concentration wane and causes your muscle memory response to have a higher propensity for failure. Its demoralizing. It breaks up the honed, subconscious OODA Loop that you would have developed in the respective discipline you are plying. Being tired is a thousand times worse than the pain of a tweaked ankle.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say that DoaM is probably the closest D&D has come to actually simulating the process of a martial exchange. Every exchange causes you some kind of wear and tear, be it physical, fatigue, or mental, leaving you more susceptible for failure on the next exchange.
