AbdulAlhazred
Legend
As a 4e fan, I can definitely tell you I perceived a lot of the same on the other side of the fence as well. All I'm really saying is the whole load of it was terrible. Terrible for fans of any edition of D&D. And what you say is so completely on point, but people tend to have trouble with criticism, which makes it tough for some not to take things to extremes. Which isn't to say that's an excuse - people should be willing to mature and grow and be capable of both receiving and giving criticism (and learning from it, like you say!) - but I think this is just easier for some than it is for others.
It's amazingly refreshing to read a cogent, non-hyperbole-laden explanation of why someone does not/did not care for 4e. Shame it took so many years before I saw one but I'll take it
My perspective on it is exceedingly simple. All I ever wanted to do was discuss the game I liked with other people. Constructive criticism, like "oh, that's not so good, lets do this other thing" or "I'd like it better if..." etc is FINE. What we actually got was literally unending vitriole. Every single thread in almost every forum was derailed for SIX YEARS without fail by the same tired griping. And it was, and still is, almost all highly unproductive. Its of the "this isn't a game, its crap, it can never satisfy me in any way" and then repeated and constant reiteration of that same message. It was never "how would I change things so it might work better for me" or anything like that. The starting point was always "its crap and it can't be fixed and WotC screwed us."
So, when I hear another of those posts, then really, its like there's little desire to agree with our find any commonality with that person, its like its just a lost cause, straight up.