D&D 5E Sidelining Players- the Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and the Poll

[Caliban]

Because "I'll see you next week, good luck guys" means "Hey guys, I don't want to hang out with you unless you can make special accommodations for me."
It's kinda antisocial to just leave. That you'd rather do nothing - you'd literally rather do anything else - than hanging around with your "friends" and watch them play...

Good lord.

You literally ignore anything that contradicts your predetermined narrative, don't you?

Somehow you went from "I went to watch a movie with my girlfriend" to "you'd rather do nothing". Amazing.

 

[Fanaelialae]

[MENTION=6799753]lowkey13[/MENTION]

Okay, after going back and rereading my post where I first mentioned elitism, I can see why you may have taken it as a personal attack on your play style. I do apologize for that, but you're going to have to take my word on the fact that there was a (bafflingly large) disconnect between my words and my intent. I was rushing the post while feeling peeved at the rude and condescending posts that I've been seeing crop up in the two threads, and somewhere the two got muddled up. I do sincerely apologize that it seems that my irritation was seemingly misdirected in your direction, as that was never my intent.

 

[Seramus]

Because "I'll see you next week, good luck guys" means "Hey guys, I don't want to hang out with you unless you can make special accommodations for me."

It's only special accommodations until it gets normalized as standard practice. Hehe.

 

[Jester David]

Good lord.

You literally ignore anything that contradicts your predetermined narrative, don't you?

Somehow you went from "I went to watch a movie with my girlfriend" to "you'd rather do nothing". Amazing.

We're talking about someone at the game table. They very likely had no plans, BECAUSE THEY'RE AT A GAME. And said significant other likely had plans as well.
And then the character dies and rather than watch and hang out, the player would rather leave. Watching the game is apparently so horrible they'd rather walk away than spend a minute there.

Now, if they were double booked that's a different things. Or if they knew there was something else going on. Or if they were really behind at work and could barely justify gaming already.
But that's a pretty unlikely.

 

[Fanaelialae]

We're talking about someone at the game table. They very likely had no plans, BECAUSE THEY'RE AT A GAME. And said significant other likely had plans as well.
And then the character dies and rather than watch and hang out, the player would rather leave. Watching the game is apparently so horrible they'd rather walk away than spend a minute there.

Now, if they were double booked that's a different things. Or if they knew there was something else going on. Or if they were really behind at work and could barely justify gaming already.
But that's a pretty unlikely.

Well, we know of at least one case where that was the case. GM used the opportunity to go to the movies with his girlfriend. That hardly seems like a waste of time to me (and I certainly wouldn't fault a player who chose to do so rather than sitting around passively).

 

[Caliban]

We're talking about someone at the game table. They very likely had no plans, BECAUSE THEY'RE AT A GAME. And said significant other likely had plans as well.

Not someone. A specific person. This isn't a hypothetical situation, this is something that actually happened.

Since he was able to call her and immediately go to a movie with her...no, she didn't have other plans. Stop making stuff up.

And then the character dies and rather than watch and hang out, the player would rather leave. Watching the game is apparently so horrible they'd rather walk away than spend a minute there.

Again, stop making stuff up. Everything you just stated is pure BS. You aren't psychic, you aren't a mind reader. You are projecting your personal issues and biases onto a situation you were not involved in.

It was a choice between watching people play after he was no longer allowed to participate (and knew for a fact he wouldn't be able to rejoin them) and spending time with his girlfriend.

It's not that the game was horrible, it's that he had something better to do. This should not be a difficult concept. Hanging out with a group of guys pretending to be elves and dwarves is fun, but it's not the ultimate social activity. Some people also have relationships outside the gaming table.

Now, if they were double booked that's a different things. Or if they knew there was something else going on. Or if they were really behind at work and could barely justify gaming already.
But that's a pretty unlikely.

What you would do in the situation isn't relevant. You weren't there. What you think justifies leaving isn't relevant. This didn't happen to you.

As I've said numerous times already, this is a really stupid argument.

I cannot fathom why people are being so hostile about such a simple thing.

"I can no longer participate meaningfully here, but I can go spend time with my girlfriend and watch a movie. "

Seems like a really easy decision.

 

[Seramus]

We're talking about someone at the game table. They very likely had no plans, BECAUSE THEY'RE AT A GAME. And said significant other likely had plans as well.
And then the character dies and rather than watch and hang out, the player would rather leave. Watching the game is apparently so horrible they'd rather walk away than spend a minute there.

There are also different degrees of fun. For example:

Playing D&D with my friends. 9/10
Watching my friends play D&D. 7/10
Going to the movies with my Girlfriend. 9/10
Washing the Dishes. 3/10

So there you are playing D&D. Something happens to you, and now you cannot play D&D for more than three hours. You could watch your friends play D&D, which is a 7/10. Certainly enjoyable, but it's not a 9/10. So you double check with your DM to make sure there's no way you can get back to playing D&D with your friends, discover there is none, and wish everyone good luck. But instead of his decision and preferences being respected, he was called a jerk by both the actual players in question and posters in the other thread.

 

[pming]

Hiya!

Is there really no middle ground in your mind between "I am the center of the universe and everything must revolve around me" and "I would prefer not to sit around twiddling my thumbs for several hours the one time a week/month/whatever I set aside to play D&D"? Because while I don't ascribe to the former, the latter is quite true for me. And I'm no spring chicken myself.

Yeah, there's a middle ground...well, except on the internet. On the internet everything is binary.



I think, for me, it would come down to "how often". I think for most folks it would. Some don't mind sitting out 2 hours...and to others, even 10 minutes is too long. It's all about how patient someone is and how easy it is for them to "enjoy things vicariously through others enjoying things". I suspect there is a large number of (or even most) people can enjoy stuff this way; just look at how popular "Let's Play" series are on YouTube, or Podcasts and whatnot of actual game sessions.

So, yeah. Lots of 'in the middle', but I didn't want to spend the time divvying up a thousand different 'middles'...so I just gave the two extremes; me on one side, and a "me me me" person on the other, hoping that readers would be able to figure out all the people in the middle. I mean, what's in the middle of numbers 1 through 11?...and what's in the middle of numbers 1 or higher?

My group? Hmmm.... I have one at the extreme end, with me. Two that are close to my view. Two that are a bit farther away from me, but closer to me than a "me me me" side. And one who is closer to "me me me"...but only sometimes and in some games (more towards my view for D&D, Powers & Perils, and many other fantasy RPG's, but more towards 'me me me' when we play SUPERS! or my zombie-apocalypse game).

^_^

Paul L. Ming

 

[ClaytonCross]

I think side lining players is fine by Death or debilitation. Why? If they are debilitated they still get to enjoy the story and suspense of "Will my party save me!?!?" maybe even roll saves and that is usually engaging and fun in its own right. If I am dead, I can stay and build a new character being able to easily consult the group to coordinate my replacement to fit well into the group while listening to their story, I can leave early to fix my character, and last but not least I could have an alternate character on stand by to be written in at any moment (1 level lower and significant character investment lost).

...Not playing doesn't mean you can't enjoy the story. If you have watched other people play video games, gone to a movie, or read a book... you are likely aware of this fact. Usually, Its the "I want to be the center of all attention" players that complain about sitting out. In that case it can be good for the group, letting some other players get a chance to shine.

 

[GMforPowergamers]

Because "I'll see you next week, good luck guys" means "Hey guys, I don't want to hang out with you unless you can make special accommodations for me."
It's kinda antisocial to just leave. That you'd rather do nothing - you'd literally rather do anything else - than hanging around with your "friends" and watch them play...

Here is my hierarchy (and why I'm single right now will become crystal clear)

1) Hang out with friends playing RPGs and/or Boardgames
2) Hang out with friends talking and BSing
3) Going on a date with my girlfriend
4) Going to the movies (unless person I am going with talks through movies...there is a special heck for them)
5) Family gatherings were politics isn't discussed...
6) Hanging out with new people either BSing or playing a game of some sort
(SKIP AHEAD SKIP AHEAD SKIP AHEAD)

somewhere in triple diggits, but after go to work, walk the dog and many other things) Sit in a room and watch my friends play a game I like and want to play but can't for some reason, and as such can't BS with them without interrupting there fun...

I don't even get why people bring up "Hey you could talk non game stuff" like it wouldn't interrupt or be a distraction...