So...am I evil??

[GreyLord]

This is a jerk move.

Is he the GM in a game you are playing in? Then he gets to decide what system he's running. As a player, you get to decide if you want to play in his game or not. Now, could all the players get together and say "listen, we are tired of 4e, please switch to 5e, or else"? Sure! But it is *his* decision as a GM.

If he's the player, then the GM decides what the system is, and he decides if he plays or not.

Look at it this way: Would you do this to a *friend*? To an adult you respect? No. Then why treat your son this way?

This could have been a great moment - a big gift of gaming books to your son - but instead you made it weird and jerk-ish.

Well...you see...that's the catch. Recently I've been the ONLY player. I've humored him (yeah, I have my MAIN character, but in truth, I get to play two others along with the one I mainly focus on as my henchmen), but everyone else has moved over to my weekday game instead of his 4e gaming.

I figure that he just needs a little nudge along. He still has his books, but he really needed to catch up with the group. I can't drop him as his dad so obviously I keep playing...but even with my like of 4e...that was a bit much. He still has his books if he wants to go back to them in the future...but for now...I'm trying to get him to get into the game the rest of us have been playing...either that or play AD&D as I'd prefer that recently to playing 4e. (AD&D at least is easier for me to handle multiple characters and can be built for you handling henchmen).

Love him...but got sick of the game. At least he looked at the 5e books this evening. He can't say he can't afford the books anymore (I got him all of them...so that's definitely NO an excuse), though he still likes the 4e art. He DID ask me to order Volo so that's a good sign.

If he takes this and runs with it, maybe he'll bring back the rest of the guys (and girl) to game with him on Saturdays like we used to.

 

[cbwjm]

I think it was mean to put his 4e books away in storage. Should have left them there and just got the 5e books for him to have a look through instead.

 

[GreyLord]

I am not going to try to classify you as a human being, but I definitely think your behavior in this case was quite wrong-headed. You don't mention having any discussion with him prior to your 'coup'; if you didn't that is particularly astonishing.

Actually we did have some discussions, though I left that part out of it. I tried dropping multiple hints that people were wanting to play 5e instead, also a direct hint when I started up a game on the weekdays in order to keep the players in some way (which turns out that then I'm DMing). His last hold outs were his sister and I, she basically flat out said everyone we played with were now playing 5e...and asked if it really was as bad as he thought it was.

She was more neutral on which system was better though, and as everyone was playing 5e instead...well...she's in my group now too . It hasn't gone above his head, he's been wanting to get everyone back to DM for them, but I basically told him flat out...not with 4e at this time. I told him if it was a different system...maybe. I don't really understand WHY he was so big into 4e, it's good, but I can't see why one would stick with it so rigidly.

I got rid of one reason, if that was it, which was cost. If it was simply he couldn't afford it or didn't want to spend the money on a new system, he doesn't have to worry about that now. Of course, I also wanted him to read the rules and at least give them a shot (try them, try them, Sam I am, try them, try them, green eggs and Ham), so that's was my incentive on putting them on his shelf.

Didn't have room unless I made room, so I took his 4e books off and put the 5e books on. Evil....yeah...I feel pretty evil about it still though.

PS: For those who asked, I was the one who bought all of his 4e books as well. I also got him his AD&D books when he was little, he still has those as well.

PPS: NO, I did NOT take them, I told him exactly where his 4e books are. They are in storage...HIS storage. I put them in a filebox and put them on the top shelf of his closest, where he knows they currently reside. Even pointed out to him where I put them so if he does decide to bust them back out he can. If he wants both the AD&D, 4e and 5e books on his shelf he can figure where to put them without me rearranging all his other books. Figured it might work out better that way.

But yes, when reflecting on it and his reaction...I think it was an EVIL move...possibly even chaotic evil. Good thing I like Metallica...though they've been a little more saintly recently...

 

[MechaPilot]

Wow, hiding someone's car counts as a pretty mild practical joke IME, folks around here must think it grounds for execution if they get this upset about putting your kids books in storage and filling their shelf with new ones.

Way too many people use "it's just a practical joke" as an excuse to be an utter dick. I can't recall the last practical joke I ever even heard of, much less witnessed, that didn't consist of someone just straight-up being a jerk to someone else.

 

[Ancalagon]

That detail, of him still having access to the 4e books, is not trivial... should have been in the first post.

So it went from being a jerk move to... ham-fisted?

Again, how old is your son?

 

[GreyLord]

Way too many people use "it's just a practical joke" as an excuse to be an utter dick. I can't recall the last practical joke I ever even heard of, much less witnessed, that didn't consist of someone just straight-up being a jerk to someone else.

Oh, it was definitely not a practical joke. More like desperation on my part. We had just leveled up to 15th in his 4e game (of which I was the lone player) and though I enjoy 4e, at this point I was going crazy with having to play it in his game. I am never going to drop him as a son...but I needed something to give me a break from the 4e for once (what is it they say of too much of a good thing...can't recall...but in this instance too much of 4e was driving me insane!). So, yeah...hope that this makes it so he runs something different for once. Even better, if he goes along with it he may become the group DM again rather than me doing it by substitution (just to keep the group together) currently.

 

[GreyLord]

That detail, of him still having access to the 4e books, is not trivial... should have been in the first post.

So it went from being a jerk move to... ham-fisted?

Again, how old is your son?

I'm not going to say his personal details in public, but he is younger than me, but old enough to have been an AD&D player. He can handle his own affairs, probably will support me when I get too old to move around (then he'll have a captive audience...maybe I should move in with the daughter instead).

But I'll still say it was probably a jerk move on my part. I was feeling particularly evil for having done it, which is why I posted the thread and the poll to see if that would be verified. It was very selfish of me, but I just had this feeling if I didn't put them on his shelf, he'd never even look at them anyways. It took him over two hours to finally decide to browse through them and then decided that we could go ahead and order Volo as well.

 

[Ancalagon]

So he's an adult?

 

[Shadowdweller00]

Exceptionally childish behavior.

 

[Raith5]

Given that I think many people who play RPGs have had some sympathy or experience with being unpopular in the broad sweep of popular culture - i suspect evil tendencies will be result here - despite differences of opinion over the popularity of various editions.