D&D General The Official Laugh at your Players thread

[JeffB]

In the spirt of the other thread....What are some stupid things they have done?

I was running a game a few years back for my "kids" group (then teens of driving age- and had been playing for 5-6 years together).

My son was having a horrible streak of d20 luck. His character was missing right and left, failing saves, etc. We sit at a big table, and they would just call out their roll. I never paid much attention to checking the dice.

There was a crucial roll- a save against paralysis or something, and dejectedly he rolled..

Then he looked at me dumbfounded, picked up his D20 and showed what was facing....

"0"...……....

The look on his face was priceless as he realized what he had done after about 3 or 4 seconds. I wish I had a camera.

He had grabbed a set of old school transparent percentile d20s instead of the d10s to use as percentile dice and inadvertently had been using one as his D20 the whole game.

I was trying so hard not to laugh and totally call him out-luckily his friends did.

 

[Quartz]

I prefered to laugh with my players.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I wasn’t the DM for this one, but...while holding the Talisman of Zagy, the player- in character- said “I wish I knew what this thing was.”

“I am The Talisman of Zagy.”
poof

 

[schneeland]

I wasn't laughing, but felt rather confused when in our last Dungeon World session a player decided to smash the seal to the elemental plane of fire instead of trying to repair it. Well, now there's a new active volcano in my game world shrug

 

[Blue]

Long story short - rogue was flat on his back, surrounded by Frost Giant Zombies, several stories up on the balcony of a collapsing Ice Tower. All the rest of the players are on the ground, and have one action to save the rogue.

Wizard, thinking about the Frost Giant Zombie threat: I'm going to cast--

Another player, interrupting: Oh no, I can't watch him die!

Wizard finishes: --Invisibility.

We all got a good laugh from that.

 

[Blue]

I prefered to laugh with my players.

Great! No one wants to be mean. So tell us a story that a player did a boneheaded manuever and everyone laughed at it.

Be constructive in the thread.

 

[generic]

Out-of-context quotes from my campaign:

1. “As long as they don’t come out of the works like ‘we are the hobgoblins! Give us your feet!’ We’ll be fine”

2. “It’s a well-known fact that the spleen is the weakest part of the Drow”

3. "Can you just touch yourself?"

4. "You’re like the little mermaid, but a snake"

5. P1: "got any acid?” -Acid Splash
P2: "Oh, so now you want the acid?" - Player whose character used acid splash far too often in the previous campaign.

6. DM: “a long description of the room, describing a room for worshiping with intricate designs in bones and copper spheres. There are living cultists offering their eyes to a hooded figure”

P3: “can I take the copper spheres?”

 

[Adamant]

I wasn't a DM in this one, but it's still funny. Playing AL, doing some low level stuff from PotA, we are on a cliff overlooking a bandit camp. My character starts making his way around to the low ground, while he's doing that the storm sorcerer jumps off. Several other people follow the sorcerer. 10 feet from the ground, the sorcerer casts a level 1 spell, killing a bandit and landing safely with his bonus action flight. The other characters hit the ground and are instantly downed. The fight ends with my level 1 fighter and the sorcerer taking out a whole camp of bandits, thanks to a captured bear getting loose as well as my being a dual wielder in preparation for going bladesinger.

Edit: Just remembered that at around level 3 a different DM nicknamed that group of characters the bumble brigade, because they were still not particularly effective. Most notably they blasted a room of orcs into near death, then ran away rather than finishing them off(The character I was playing, a zealot of Tempus, left in disgust at their cowardice and I brought in a different character halfway through our session.)

 

[hawkeyefan]

I wasn’t the DM for this one, but...while holding the Talisman of Zagy, the player- in character- said “I wish I knew what this thing was.”

“I am The Talisman of Zagy.”
poof

We had a similar situation in our game. The PCs had freed a powerful entity from a demiplanar prison and he agreed to grant them each a wish.

I turned to the player to my left. “What do you desire?”

He thought for a moment. He shrugged. “Let someone else go first.”

“Granted!” And I turned to the next player.

 

[Nebulous]

Player jumps unannounced on the back of an evil dragon ally, shouting, "Let's go! You spray em! I'll shock em!" Dragon immediately flies up and flicks player off to fall screaming 60 feet and SPLAT.