Alfred: "So, that's how he happened to hate Wizards..."
DMM's Simulacrum's Simulacrum: "Yes Master, he has been giving heinous speeches and randomly killing Level 3 writers by calling them Wizards."
Alfred: "He's definitely weird. How could the real Eilirilia accept to lend him a hand in his Simulacrum attempt?"
DMMSS: "She didn't, Master, he Wished for a familiar a few days before and he got a spider, who just stood on the ceiling waiting for the DMM to pass behind, while he was in the Border Ethereal.Then he stopped the spell, Wished for a Simulacrum and had the spider fall on Eilirilia to deliver the touch spell by proxy. The familiar died on the fall damage but it was after the reaction happened. Then they both planeshift away before anyone could react."
Alfred: "I see... So you have been living an awful life for 20 years since?"
DMMSS: "Yes, Master"
Alfred: "OK, it's time to release you from your suffering. Do you still have useful spells?"
DMMSS: "Yes, Master, I have my full complement. The usual assassination tactic required me to take no action whatsoever."
Alfred: "Interesting. I'll wait before remaking 433. When is the Lazy One supposed to make his next hate speech?"
DMMSS: "Tomorrow, at Upper Foggy's bar, the Roaring Lion, at 8pm".
Alfred: "Let's take a long rest, then."
On the day of the apparition, planeshifting away back to Alfred's secluded grove (he wouldn't risk any damage to his cottage), he casts a symbol of insanity, then the DMMSS casts Gate, being fully aware of who the Lazy One is, to pull him just on top of the Symbol. While the DMMSS stood outside the symbol's area of effect, Alfred could afford to stay inside, as he'd use his Convergent Future to ensure a failure of the Lazy One DC. Theoretically, he could miss the DC19 INT check, though with +11 and advantage (Fortune's Favor) the odds are low... in which case the DMMSS was instructed to cast an 8th level Dispel Magic on him on the next turn.
For the next nine rounds, Alfred would then manacle and gag the Lazy One, remove its components and possessions, Wish for an Instant Symbol to ensure 10 rounds of tranquillity in case he missed the save on the first, this time staying outside, then, once he won't be Ia threat, proceed to Imprison the Lazy One with no chance of failure, with its -4 to Wis saving throws against DC19 ("so much for not being able to fail mental saves", thought Alfred) using the Minimus containment option, trapping him forever into a one-inch high gem. On the next day, de'd then cast Demiplane to create a random demiplane and throw the gem inside, while saying "stay in your closet forever and say you won all you want..." Then proceed to create 433 and get back to his Foggy Bottom's cottage. He'd remember to buy a box of chocolate for Eilirilia and get an Amazon to deliver it to her.
So ended the threat of the Lazy One, revealed to all by his own Simulacrum spell, and forever removed from the world in a way fitting with his previous (un)observed behaviour.
Kudos to Flamestrike for the idea to create homunculi to play the bagpipe badly forever, it would be a nice addition to this demiplane...Though having them simply sing :
"You can't go ! You can't go !
So you wanted to be a sorceror?
You can't go! You can't go!
Wizards forever locked the door!"
24h hours a day, forever, would be a suiting fate. I hope the ladies of the Reader's Club will feel suitably avenged for the 3-days demise of Binky.
Edit: My guess is that the next iteration of the Demigod won't have a DMM Simulacrum.