Star Trek Strange New Worlds, what did you think?

[Snarf Zagyg]

SNARFZODIACKILLER EPISODE 9 REVIEW:

WHAT?

WHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT? I CANT EVEN.

I
CANT
EVEN.

WHAT DID I JUST SEE? THIS WAS NIRVANA AT GLASTONBURY. ALL KILLER NO FILLER.

THE EPISODE OPENS UP WITH UHURU AND SOME RANDOS GETTING PROPS. TWO RANDOS IVE NEVER SEEN GETTING PROMOTIONS?

CONGRATULATIONS, YOUVE JUST BEEN GIVEN RED SHIRTS.

SPEAKING OF GREAT IDEAS, LETS SPLIT OF THE CREW. AND PUT THE RANDOS ON THE MILK RUN, BECAUSE THAT ALWAYS GOES WELL.

SO NOW WE ARE ON ICE PLANET HOTH, AND THERE ARE NO COMMUNICATIONS AND NO SCANNERS, AND ONE OF THE MANY CRASHED ENTERPRISES FROM THE KELVIN MOVIE UNIVERSE IS LOOMING OMINOUSLY IN THE BACKGROUND. AND THEN THERE IS BLOOD. AND GORN. AND ...

OH. MY. GOD. IS THAT THE XENOMORPHS THEME MUSIC? IT IS! THATS RIGHT. WE HAVE GONE FROM CRIBBING FROM DAS BOOT TO SHAMELESSLY BORROWING FROM ALIEN AND THE THING. THIS IS THINGLIEN. AND I THINK CRONENBERG LEFT DISCOVERY TO GIVE SOME ADDED BODY HORROR.

SO THE CREW, AND #FREEHEMMER, STUMBLE AROUND AND FIND A LITTLE GIRL. WE WILL CALL HER NEWT2. NEWT2 STIRS ALL THE FEELZ IN NOTKHAN, AND THEN THINGS GET DARK. SPOCK HAS TO GO ALL EMO AND SCREAMO AND ...

WAIT. NO. NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO....

NOT #FREEHEMMER. THAT SOUND YOU HEARD? THAT WAS THE SOUND OF A MILLION FANS SCREAMING AT ONCE, "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN KYLE!" AND ANOTHER BILLION FANS SCREAMING, "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THAT DUDE AT THE TRANSPORTER WHOSE NAME I CANNOT RECALL!!!!!!!"

#SORRYNOTSORRY

HOW CAN THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER HURT SO BAD? ITS LIKE IF THE DOCTOR TOLD YOU THAT LISTENING TO BLACK SABBATHS WAR PIGS ONE MORE TIME WOULD CAUSE YOUR LIVER TO EXPLODE. AND THAT ENDING?

IM NOT CRYING! UR CRYING. SHUT UP.

FINAL RATING: IM HAVING MY BRAINS SMASHED OUT BY A LEMON SLICE WRAPPED AROUND A LARGE GOLDEN BRICK.

 

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

He will be missed, though there was talk that at least the actor isn't leaving Star Trek. But even so - we will miss the character.

TOS costume department really don't seem to match the capabilities of the new Gorn. I guess I can live with that retcon. Though it seems as nasty as the Gorn are portrayed... they get a bit more mellow after the Metreon incident?

 

[Ryujin]

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Season 2 - Enter the Scotsman!

Have you seen James Doohan's son Chris? I doubt that they'll use him, but they should.

 

[Umbran]

Have you seen James Doohan's son Chris? I doubt that they'll use him, but they should.

Chris Doohan is already 63 years old!

 

[Morrus]

Chris Doohan is already 63 years old!

Yikes!

 

[Ryujin]

Chris Doohan is already 63 years old!

Jeez. I lost track of when I saw him in Star Trek Continues. (At least I think that was it.) Maybe son of son of Scotty? MacMacDoohan? O'Doohan?

 

[Morrus]

Jeez. I lost track of when I saw him in Star Trek Continues. (At least I think that was it.) Maybe son of son of Scotty? MacMacDoohan? O'Doohan?

Dad of Scotty. If Scotty had a son in STN, he definitely wouldn't be in his 60s!

 

[Ryujin]

Dad of Scotty. If Scotty had a son in STN, he definitely wouldn't be in his 60s!

Thinking of the actor, not the character.

 

[bloodtide]

S1E9

The gorn are back...again. Look sure the gorn are great old school trek villains.....but it's a bit odd to keep reusing them every couple of episodes. Part of what makes them cool is the 'unknown' factor. At this rate we will have Gum the Gorn crewman soon.

Hooray for Ensign Doomed getting promoted, but everyone knew he was going to die...he might as well pulled out a holo crystal of his girl friend and said "as soon as I get back to Earth I'm gonna marry her!"

Pike praises Uhura for being on the ship....but, um, exactly "what" is he talking about? The like ten minutes of screen time she has done something useful in the past eight episodes? This is the huge problem with these pathetically short seasons, season one is just about over...but is barley at the holiday break for any normal show.

Sure it's cool old school trek....but the captain, science officer, ONLY doctor, ONLY nurse, security chief and chief engineer....with the red shirt extras....all leave the ship on an away mission at the same time?

So like most of the crew left the ship....on a class L "Hoth" planet.....and then froze to death? Seems starfleet should train people better then that.

Right from the start they all know a monster is maybe in the ship....and yet Pike is all like "ok, lets all split up to make nice easy small targets" like in most horror movies.

And Alien Bob...and little human girl. Sure, Bob can be a monster "blah blah blah".....but sure was amazing Newt just happen to be a pretty young human girl so she would get sympathy.

So they "scan" Bob..we guess....but can't detect the baby gorn...sure, whatever. But did the scans also miss all of Bob's other health issues?

And...sure....Bob is a typical idiot alien and hides his condition from everyone so he can die and advance the plot. Sure, he speaks gibberish, but he could still "point", show his "wounds" and ask for help.

And for that matter....if Newt does really care about Bob....then why does she no ask for help for him? She knows all about the Alien tm rip off gorn, right?

And why does Newt keep asking to "leave" like an annoying brat? She knows Alien Bob has kitten gorn in him and they will pop out soon, right? So even if they did leave, that would still happen....

And it takes forever for Nurse Capple to do the basic ''first aid safety check" and look at Bob's body. And...of course...right at the second she does so.....the gorn hatch!

Wow...amazing Newt knows the walk five steps away and curl up in a ball move that makes you undetectable to gorn kittens.

And...gosh...sure is amazing luck that the sick bay force field bed is working 100%. EVERYTHING else in sick bay barley works and flickers like crazy. But with no force field, then "not really" nurse Chaple would have died.

So......some kitten sized gorn climb out of alien Bob.....and like a minute latter one of the kitten gorn kills Lt. Doomed.....and drags him away? How does that work?

So.....they sure talk a LOT about Earth type life with 'packs' and 'alphas' and 'dominance' and 'challenges'. The gorn are aliens...so, you, know, they should be a lot more alien like.

So Pike tells Spock to do something....so cool Spock taps into his repressed Vulcan Hyde persona.....and then with a yell he breaks a floor grate! Wow...scary.

So...in like less then an hour kitten gorn grows into Velociraptor gorn?

So gorn "evolved" to be scan proof? What? The Star Trek tech that "scans" for lifeforms can't be too much more then 100 years old, and would be updated every couple years. But the gorn EVOLVED to be scan proof?

And...well, even IF the gorn are somehow magicaly scan proof......well, they still interact with the environment. In a mostly closed environment you can track life by oxygen use and accumulations of carbon doxiode. And EVEN if the gorn breathes and exhales something else.....that "something else" HAS to be the standard gases found on a Federation Starship, and you could track that. Also what about motion sensors? Sound sensors?

And the gorn have evolved to be immune to telepathy?

So Laan throws down her phaser and is all like "come get me I'm unarmed".......and the hour old gorn understands this? The newborn gorn understands the concept of a "gun"? Guess it evolved that too? Or do the gorn have a genetic memory?

And for Laans "don't use a gun, guns are bad plan".....er, why did she not just grab another phaser and hide it, so she could zap the gorn.....

Wow...sure was lucky the gorn did not evolve to be immune to cryo gas, right?

And...and....and....gorn spit egg slime....ok. Wonder how gorn reproduce with no other people around? Do they kill each other?

And nooooo....Hemer! He does the whole..."oh well they will hatch any second...guess Andorian equals like twenty minutes before hatching" and kills himself.

Wonder if Doc M could have put Hemer in a transporter to save him? Oh, well, he needed to die....

So, unless there are society gorn and beast gorn......the mess we have seen of gorn life makes no sense. Social animals that do the whole "alpha" thing don't (always) kill every other one of their kind. Such an animal would die out quick. Wolves don't kill all other wolves in a pack....because there ARE wolf packs. 'Gators kill each other....but then they live mostly alone.


So....how oh how did the gorn EVER develop 23rd century technology if they can't have a stable social society?

Unless the gorn are not a "real" race and they were made artificially by another race to be weapons/hunters/WMDs.....

 

[Stalker0]

Pike praises Uhura for being on the ship....but, um, exactly "what" is he talking about? The like ten minutes of screen time she has done something useful in the past eight episodes?

So they "scan" Bob..we guess....but can't detect the baby gorn...sure, whatever. But did the scans also miss all of Bob's other health issues?

So gorn "evolved" to be scan proof? What? The Star Trek tech that "scans" for lifeforms can't be too much more then 100 years old, and would be updated every couple years. But the gorn EVOLVED to be scan proof? And...well, even IF the gorn are somehow magicaly scan proof......well, they still interact with the environment. In a mostly closed environment you can track life by oxygen use and accumulations of carbon doxiode. And EVEN if the gorn breathes and exhales something else.....that "something else" HAS to be the standard gases found on a Federation Starship, and you could track that. Also what about motion sensors? Sound sensors?

And nooooo....Hemer! He does the whole..."oh well they will hatch any second...guess Andorian equals like twenty minutes before hatching" and kills himself.

• Uhuru was able to decode the music signal on that alien ship, that both saved her away team, may have saved the enterprise, saved all of the people on that one planet, and prevented direct conflict with another alien species....as a cadet. That one incident alone gives her an immediate super platinum star. I mean what more do you want?
• Bob was a completely alien race, so you could argue the scans didn't know what to scan for. That said, I'm sure there are plenty of other incidents with completely alien life where the medical tricorders are able to suss out some things.
• The scan proofing is a bit odd. I could understand that the Gorn naturally block certain raditation the tricorders use in their scanning (not necessarily direct evolution just a happenstance), but your right that those things can scan for all sorts of crazy things. There should have been SOME way to track the gorn, even indirectly.
• While it is established that different species have different incubation periods with the gorn, I will agree 20 minutes is crazy fast for any life cycle. Even our common fly, which is genetic extreme simple and its a very small creature, still takes at least 8 hours or so to hatch (often 20 hours). My rationale was that Hemmer knew help wouldn't be available from the enterprise for hours yet, and Hemmer knew that if he stayed the crew would do everything they could to save him....which would end up getting them killed.