What Licensed RPG Do You Wish Existed But Doesn't?

[Cordwainer Fish]

Rowling doesn't need more of my money, but the school in Harry's 7th year is tailor-made setting for a game.

I went to a private school and I am never going back, no matter how vicariously.

 

[Strider1973]

Terry Brooks' Shannara series!

 

[Umbran]

Mod Note:
Folks, it is time to step away from the issues of conspiracy theories today in modern, real world socio-politics. If you aren't going to reference the Goldfish Fanciers or the Fiendish Fluoridators, you're talking about serious stuff in a place dedicated to how to pretend to be elves.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

“Let’s put the secret entrance to our magical train platform right smack in the middle of London’s busiest train station! Make sure the [slur] don’t see you!”

“Let’s use owls, some of the slowest birds ever, as delivery system.”

"The bank is just actual vaults with piles of money and being run by Jewish caricatures."

“Let’s put our teleportation system in a fireplace, so you can risk getting grievously burned if something goes wrong and you carry ash everywhere.”

“Forget electricity, we’ll light up our ancient castle with floating candles that can drip wax everywhere.”

“Let’s have movie stair cases with no safety mesure in our school for children.”

“Let’s teach children how to make mind altering potions!”

“Let’s give a time travel device to a girl so she can get extra credits.”

“Let’s put all the supremacists jerks into one house and all the reckless holier-than-thou types in another one.”

“Here’s a game where children hit each other with sticks while flying 20 feets in the air and the points don’t matter because Potter keeps catching a friggin’ gold ball.”

I don't actually want to defend Rowling's world building. Because it is rubbish. But I have to give passes to a couple of things on your list.

Putting the secret entrance in the middle of Kings Cross makes sense from a comedic perspective and a "the magical world is right alongside us" perspective. RE. moving staircases, which aren't even close to the worst things that have been put in Hogwarts, adult indifference to children and their safety is a staple of kids' literature. So I give this a pass too.

But if my add a few more WTF? ideas to your list:

Polyjuice potion. So simple even kids can make it. Bright kids. Well, Hermione, later Malfoy. But presumably many adults. Yet the government has no defences against its use, not even for the gorram Ministry building.

Invisibility has the same problem. Yes, we are told that invisibility cloaks are hard to make and rarely last long. But that doesn't excuse the Ministry, or indeed any adult wizard, from failing to suspect/prepare against their use.

The good guys (sic) casual indifference to slavery. And indeed the wizard's marginalisation of all the magical peoples. It is introduced as a thing, and we are given several examples of it, and nothing ever comes of it.

I know you've already mentioned quidditch but I would just like to mention it again cos it's just so awful.

 

[billd91]

I think you're being way too harsh on the Potterverse. The best way to do some world building is to take something that's there and exaggerate it a bit. So, yeah, adult indifference to child safety in the schools writ a bit larger.
Supremacists in one house - well, that's kind of the English boarding school experience as a whole, isn't it? What else explains guys like Boris Johnson and a centuries' long drive for imperialism?
And Quidditch - how many other bizarrely scored sports come out of Britain? Cricket? Tennis? Granted, scoring in 15s but suddenly switching to 10 to get from 30 to 40 may have come from the French, but it's so bizarre everyone thinks it's British.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

I thought tennis originated in France?

<google google>

Ah. Modern lawn tennis was codified in England. I have learned a thing.

The thing about tennis scores is that each and every point is worth 1 no matter what name they've been given. With quidditch the entire match is pointless except for the snitch. So why have the other bits?

My issue with the Potterverse world building is that many things get introduced because they solve a narrative problem in the moment, but no thought is given to the wider implications for the world. Leads to some serious fridge logic. (There's a TV tropes page for fridge logic, but I'm a good (ish) person and won't put links where any innocent bystander might step on them.)

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

I think you're being way too harsh on the Potterverse.

Canonically, wizards used to crap on the floors of Hogwarts and use magic to vanish it away.

And Quidditch - how many other bizarrely scored sports come out of Britain? Cricket?

Cricket is definitely a good point of comparison. I can't imagine how cricketers don't sustain major injuries on a regular basis, unless that ball is going a lot slower than it appears to be.

 

[DrunkonDuty]

The cricket ball is going very fast. It hurts like **** when you get hit. There's a reason professionals took to wearing helmets. Oddly, helmets only became a thing in the last, I wanna say 30 years. Wearing padded gloves and a box (a "cup" in American English) go back much longer.

The wizards crapping on the floor thing might be a reference to the court of King Charles II. According to Horrible Histories they would crap on the floors at court. The Merry Monarch indeed.

 

[Anon Adderlan]

I'm not a Harry Potter fan, but lets be honest, the first to release an RPG based on it will likely have the best selling RPG of all time.

“Let’s use owls, some of the slowest birds ever, as delivery system.”

What is the airspeed velocity of a letter laden owl?
What do you mean, a barn owl or a horned owl?

And Quidditch - how many other bizarrely scored sports come out of Britain?

The thing which made Quidditch most bizarre was the Snitch, which only existed because Harry needed to be the hero. Toss that out and you almost have a game.

However the fact Ravenclaw had a sports team? Now that's bizarre.

 

[James Gasik]

However the fact Ravenclaw had a sports team? Now that's bizarre.

Ravenclaw players are the ones gathering stats, biorhythm charts, and some kind of magical algorithm to predict player performance.