Nobody is arguing any of that. The issue is simply the philosophy espoused by 4e in this matter (and others) does not meet the needs of a significant portion (probably the majority) of D&D's fan base, and yet is lauded as if it really should be, and feeling otherwise is somehow a problem.
I find this a really strange take, as it seems the other way around to me. Really, I would be classified as "neutral" in this, as I've always been every bit as critical of 4e as I am of 5e (or any other edition - I like
parts and I dislike
parts of each of them). But, from my (admittedly self-professed) neutral position, I don't see 4e-lovers butting in to other conversations to tell people why they MUST like 4e, as you seem to be suggesting!
They can be
defensive, sure, with all the negative connotations of that. But they don't tend to be the attackers, IME.
Or in other words, I don't think anyone is trying to tell you that you have to "feel otherwise". You're free to not like 4e!
But if you find yourself in a thread where people post that 4e was somehow harder on verisimilitude than other editions - you're going to find people objecting to it. It's simply a false claim.
Every edition has parts where the mechanics don't line up well with a "realistic" narrative. While playing D&D, we
always have to smooth over the rough spots.
Maybe those bumps stood out worse
for you in 4e (which is fine!) but 4e was not objectively worse for the phenomenon - it was just what it is.