How Dragonbane Pointed out the Clashing Desires of My Gaming Group

[Retreater]

I think you should start with "I'm not having fun. I think everyone at the table should have fun. What can we do to make this fun for everyone?"

Without that conversation, no system is going to solve your group's problems.

The original conversion did start that way.
Me: "Hey, in a few months we'll be getting to a natural end of the 4e campaign. Half our players are going off to college, so I'd like to end that campaign on a high note for them. After that, we can transition to a game that's less prep for me that works for fewer players, more story driven?"
Them: "Well, what would you like to run, since you've been putting in so much work for these games?"
Me (after a month): "Here's a list of some games I'd like to run."
Story driven player: "I'd rather not do Call of Cthulhu...."
Me: "Enough said. I'll cross it off the list."
Me: "We've wrapped up the 4e game. Let's have few weeks of one shot indie games with the college kids before we start a new campaign."
Me (to the story driven player): "Here's the basic rules for Dragonbane I picked up at Free RPG Day. See what you think."
Story driven player (over the next week, through texts and in person): "I'm excited about Dragonbane. Seems to be something I'd like."

I know my wife had plenty of time to learn about it. She's been subjected to me listening to videos and podcasts about it for months. I've talked to her about considering it for weeks ahead of time. I told all the players it was more dangerous, survival is a bigger issue than other games. I really don't know what more I could've done. They just didn't care to learn about it (with the exception of the story player).

 

[payn]

The original conversion did start that way.
Me: "Hey, in a few months we'll be getting to a natural end of the 4e campaign. Half our players are going off to college, so I'd like to end that campaign on a high note for them. After that, we can transition to a game that's less prep for me that works for fewer players, more story driven?"
Them: "Well, what would you like to run, since you've been putting in so much work for these games?"
Me (after a month): "Here's a list of some games I'd like to run."
Story driven player: "I'd rather not do Call of Cthulhu...."
Me: "Enough said. I'll cross it off the list."
Me: "We've wrapped up the 4e game. Let's have few weeks of one shot indie games with the college kids before we start a new campaign."
Me (to the story driven player): "Here's the basic rules for Dragonbane I picked up at Free RPG Day. See what you think."
Story driven player (over the next week, through texts and in person): "I'm excited about Dragonbane. Seems to be something I'd like."

I know my wife had plenty of time to learn about it. She's been subjected to me listening to videos and podcasts about it for months. I've talked to her about considering it for weeks ahead of time. I told all the players it was more dangerous, survival is a bigger issue than other games. I really don't know what more I could've done. They just didn't care to learn about it (with the exception of the story player).

That old school dungeon crawl sounds appealing, but most folks don’t realize how much the particulars cut into the action. After getting going it reveals the real experience.

 

[nerfherder]

There's a lot of blame put on me to deliver precisely what she wants. She's literally said things like "I don't care if you're having fun."

Sadly, this does not sound like the kind of issue that will be resolved on a RPG forum.

 

[Reef]

Sadly, this does not sound like the kind of issue that will be resolved on a RPG forum.

Yeah, I’ve read the whole thread, and that line leapt out at me. If your players (and even worse, your wife) flat out state that they don’t care about your fun, there’s not a game in the world that is going to solve things.

 

[AnotherGuy]

Right. But I think a skirmish style boardgame like Gloomhaven would be better for that than me busting my brain on a weekly basis to create dynamic encounters with a system not designed to do that.

To be fair, it was "unsatisfying" to me. I think they were ok just coming and eating snacks, watching TikTok videos between their turns, etc.
Concerning my spouse being in my group, it's a blessing and curse.
There's a lot of blame put on me to deliver precisely what she wants. She's literally said things like "I don't care if you're having fun."

This is terribly disheartening man.
And this is why I make no apologies for my earlier comment about my distinction between players and roleplayers.

 

[Thomas Shey]

Its a mixed blessing having your spouse in your gaming group, and there's little "mixed" about it if what you want out of the game and what she does are entirely orthogonal to each other.

 

[Retreater]

Had the talk about the game with the players tonight. Story gamer is loving it. My neighbor is coming around. My wife had a couple fun moments but overall isn't a fan - is willing to stick with it as long as others are liking it.

 

[aramis erak]

Savage Worlds won’t require you to run an NPC character. In PF2 just I’d just spec out a heal bot cleric whose function is healing and as a plot delivery system. Minimal mental overhead. If your running an AP in either game most of the prep is done for you, especially if your just following along with the narrative.

Nor will Rifts. And there's no balance at all in Rifts.

 

[S'mon]

Had the talk about the game with the players tonight. Story gamer is loving it. My neighbor is coming around. My wife had a couple fun moments but overall isn't a fan - is willing to stick with it as long as others are liking it.

I find with Dragonbane it depends hugely on the character the player is playing. DB doesn't really seek to "guarantee fun" the way modern DnD does. I generally let players play Knights and choose their starting Heroic Ability so they can feel powerful. Mages are also good.

 

[AnotherGuy]

I find with Dragonbane it depends hugely on the character the player is playing. DB doesn't really seek to "guarantee fun" the way modern DnD does. I generally let players play Knights and choose their starting Heroic Ability so they can feel powerful. Mages are also good.

Genuinely curious, are you implying DB has some unfun character options? As in poorly designed?