D&D General How Do I Help Mentor a GM Making Rookie Mistakes?

[Micah Sweet]

This is not advice for a typical DM though. If she’s a teenager (or as close to it as possible) trying to run a game for the first time then I don’t think he does need to know the rules in advance, or to have his expectations managed. That isn’t something you say to a young adult doing something high pressured for the first time.

Don’t go in with any expectations, just provide 200% encouragement. If you miss every attack, so be it. If you can’t heal, do something else. If your character dies… keep smiling and roll another one. Teaching someone else is not about them entertaining you… though you might well be entertained along the way.

Was the OP's goal in playing that game under that GM education?

 

[MichaelSomething]

Was the OP's goal in playing that game under that GM education?

Would you rather she attend a DMing University??

 

[Mort]

This is not advice for a typical DM though. If she’s a teenager (or as close to it as possible) trying to run a game for the first time then I don’t think he does need to know the rules in advance, or to have his expectations managed. That isn’t something you say to a young adult doing something high pressured for the first time.

Don’t go in with any expectations, just provide 200% encouragement. If you miss every attack, so be it. If you can’t heal, do something else. If your character dies… keep smiling and roll another one. Teaching someone else is not about them entertaining you… though you might well be entertained along the way.

I absolutely agree about providing encouragement!

But that doesn't mean letting clearly bad habits solidify. Rules whiplash is something that can be addressed without being at all harsh - and it seems it would solve most of the OPs issues.

 

[Micah Sweet]

Would you rather she attend a DMing University??

Maybe, if she's got loads and loads of money to waste.

 

[TheSword]

I absolutely agree about providing encouragement!

But that doesn't mean letting clearly bad habits solidify. Rules whiplash is something that can be addressed without being at all harsh - and it seems it would solve most of the OPs issues.

Yeah, it’s the first campaign, there’s time. Flexing the rules is a natural part of young people learning a system. My god, I think back to my teenage DMing days. I was constantly trying new things.

 

[Clint_L]

I absolutely agree about providing encouragement!

But that doesn't mean letting clearly bad habits solidify. Rules whiplash is something that can be addressed without being at all harsh - and it seems it would solve most of the OPs issues.

Caution: things that would be bad habits for me are sometimes strengths for others. I'm going to be blunt: I think most of the OP's issues are stemming from the OP, not from the rookie DM. If they screw up (from his perspective)...so what? It's a game! Let it go! We need to destygmatize mistakes for people to learn. It ain't about you, it's about them!

This DM is doing what we in the business would call formative learning, meaning that this is the time to experiment and play and try things out. They aren't doing an exam, and the OP isn't their examiner. If they ask for feedback, give it in plain language, being encouraging about what is awesome, and clear about what didn't work, emphasizing that this is only your perspective. If they don't ask for feedback, then STFU and have good time, or politely decline the next invitation. Above all, don't judge!

A lot of education sucks because we make people feel like making a mistake is terrible and means there is something wrong with them. This leads to timid little grade monkeys. The whole point of education should be to let people make their mistakes and learn - that's how they come up with creative, brilliant answers that are all their own.

 

[Retreater]

Points taken! Thanks for all the input. It's definitely put my gripes into perspective. I think I'll just sit back and go with the flow. If the other players are unhappy, I'll let them speak up. The opportunity of playing in someone else's game was to give me a chance to take a break from stressing about games so much.

 

[UngainlyTitan]

Points taken! Thanks for all the input. It's definitely put my gripes into perspective. I think I'll just sit back and go with the flow. If the other players are unhappy, I'll let them speak up. The opportunity of playing in someone else's game was to give me a chance to take a break from stressing about games so much.

Games are not things one should be stressing about. Striving to do better, is all very well but when it negatively affects one's play enjoyment or relationships, then there is a problem that one needs to be addressed.

 

[haakon1]

If she's running a game for a bunch of people who have played or run games more than she has, she's at significant risk of being pushed around by the players. She should get a chance to be her own GM... even if that's not your kind of GM.

Heck, maybe she's got her own reasons for what she's doing, and the result will actually be awesome, just a little different than what you're used to.

100%, when playing in anyone’s game, roll with it, let it go, let them figure things out - and you will learn too.

I noticed the complaints were about being “weaker” than the player wanted - fewer HP points, lower AC.

And not knowing the rules - a new system with unknown house rules.

My interpretation is this is on purpose. Being at actual risk, and in a world where you don’t know how everything works, where you can’t precalculate your odds and min/max your way to domination - may be EXACTLY what this DM intends. Shake things up and give you the joy she - much recently than you - discovered in being a Stranger in a Strangeland.

 

[Retreater]

Well, we finally had our next session after I made the original post.

We did not interact with any new house rules that session.

There were other issues that I had, but I didn't complain. Just tried my best to be supportive.
1) Having players roll for everything. ("I know you have an ability to find your way around a town and you need to find addresses to deliver letters that is your character's side hustle to try to make a few extra silver coins now that we've reached town. But you need to roll several Perception checks to do that.") [Unnecessary die rolling.]
2) I cast Detect Magic to try to find out if there were traps on the front door. I found traps. We had no way of disabling the trap, so we climbed to the 2nd floor and went through a window. ("But you all missed all the fun encounters and story things I put on the 1st floor so the 2nd floor encounters didn't explain my story.") [Don't gate off story and fun encounters. If there hadn't been a trap on the door, we would've followed the path she wanted.]
3) The town's zealot religious leader is burning a woman at the stake for heresy (saying that the religious leader is a zealot). We're being strongarmed into siding with the religious leader. Every player at the table wants to save the innocent woman. ("Your characters wouldn't think this way. The culture is very religious and all of you are religious. You would be okay with this execution.") [Every player at the table was disturbed by this. And we had no Session 0 to talk about religious and cultural persecutions being not okay.]